In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.
Ambrose Bierce
Related There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ... J.J. MCAVOY To establish oneself in the world, one does all one can to seem established there already. FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD Mundane humans create distinctions between themselves, distinctions that seem ridiculous to any Shad... CASSANDRA CLARE Sometimes in our confusion, we see not the world as it is, but the world though eyes blurred by the ... UNKNOWN No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ... H. P. LOVECRAFT Even though it may seem like there have been gains in Iraq's power supply, those gains are not relia... LAURA GARDINER Strength does not come by numbers; it comes by one mind, one heart, and one soul. MARCELINO IBARRA This world is a joke, and I'm in it OLIWAH GOUDEE One argument against open systems is that they become open to everything, good and bad. Like a Richa... DOUGLAS RUSHKOFF I believe that it may happen that one will succeed, and one must not begin to despair, even though d... VINCENT VAN GOGH For a bird, especially for the more musically inventive, song is the defining characteristic, the pr... JOHN BURNSIDE All roads indeed lead to Rome, but theirs also is a more mystical destination, some bourne of which ... RICHARD LE GALLIENNE The most ironic thing in the world is having no say when your name is determined for the first time ... PAWAN MISHRA It is not enough to have knowledge, one must also apply it. It is not enough to have wishes, one mus... JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a re... GEORGE ORWELL Distinctions drawn by the mind are not necessarily equivalent to distinctions in reality. ST. THOMAS AQUINAS Distinctions drawn by the mind are not necessarily equivalent to distinctions in reality. THOMAS AQUINAS When a judge assumes the power to decide which distinctions made in a statute are legitimate and whi... ROBERT BORK There is some magic in wealth, which can thus make persons pay their court to it, when it does not e... ANN RADCLIFFE It must be admitted that there are some parts of the soul which we must entirely paralyse before we ... NICOLAS CHAMFORT It must be admitted that there are some parts of the soul which we must entirely paralyze before we ... CHAMFORT Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realiz... HENRY FORD Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to reali... HENRY FORD One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes a revolution in ... GEORGE ORWELL It's not that pink is intrinsically bad, but it is such a tiny slice of the rainbow, and, though it ... PEGGY ORENSTEIN In India we do not seem to encourage innovation and reverence among young scientists. We do not seem... INDER VERMA Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece o... LEMONY SNICKET The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �... VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE As Mr. R. U. Sayee has well said: 'It should be clear a priori that fairy lore must have developed a... LEWIS SPENCE No one was interested in picking up a midlist series, even though I have a decent fanbase and respec... J. A. KONRATH Even though some in our government may claim that civil liberties must be compromised in order to pr... LUCILLE ROYBAL-ALLARD Often one postulates that a priori, all states are equally probable. This is not true in the world a... RICHARD P. FEYNMAN Even if all life on our planet is destroyed, there must be other life somewhere which we know nothin... PHILIP K. DICK The mind speaks, though it does not have lips. The heart moves, though it does not have feet. MATSHONA DHLIWAYO One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution i... GEORGE ORWELL People forget who they are; they always remain with an identity which is not the real self. It is ju... LOBSANG TENZIN If (an individual) doesn't have one, we'll establish one in that name. If they have an existing one,... ALICE ERICKSON The inscription on his gravestone had felt so wholly insufficient the moment she saw it. Just a name... STUART NADLER Karla has an established record in the community in not only participating, but also delivering, and... LARRY PELLEGRINI Because the child must have a valuable thing which is called imagination. The child must have a secr... BETTY SMITH Why does one love? How queer it is to see only one being in the world, to have only one thought in o... GUY DE MAUPASSANT Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard... HENRY FORD To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid - one must also be polite. VOLTAIRE The world is a dysfunctional place in so many ways. It is unstable. So even though that chaos can be... JENNIFER GILMORE You have these high numbers, and it doesn't even seem like you're making a dent. You're losing Wilke... FRANK MARRA Everything you are used to, once done long enough, starts to seem natural, even though it might not ... JULIEN SMITH The city does seem like they wanna work with us even though they passed this particular ordinance th... BARRY GRIGSBY When the judge calls the criminal's name out he stands up, and they are immediately linked by a stra... JEAN GENET I think it would be good to have something that encourages people to appreciate their own country - ... ELLIOTT FRISBY When something seems confusing or does not seem complete… that is because it is a lie or it's plan... WAKE UP! MESSAGE As I do no good action here, merely for the interpretation of good men, though that be one good and ... JOHN DONNE I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless He se... C.S. LEWIS Stories are one of the means by which a culture preserves its identity. EDWARD ZWICK Care should be taken that the punishment does not exceed the guilt; and also that some men do not su... MARCUS TULLIUS CICERO [From our side] our relation to God is unrighteous. Secretly we are ourselves the masters in this re... KARL BARTH Even in those cities which seem to enjoy the blessings of peace, and where the arts florish, the inh... VOLTAIRE It is a small world. You do not have to live in it particuarly long to learn that for yourself. Ther... NEIL GAIMAN Because," explained Mary Rommely simply, "the child must have a valuable thing which is called imagi... BETTY SMITH It is a lie. ARTHUR MILLER What I assert and believe to have demonstrated in this and earlier works is that following the finit... GEORG CANTOR Even though there's a discrepancy which is classified as an error, most of the time no meaningful ha... LEN LICHTENFELD A map of the world that does not include Utopia is not worth even glancing at, for it leaves out the... OSCAR WILDE If the universe is running down like a clock, the clock must have been wound up at a date which we c... DEAN INGE Heartless though it may seem to some, among the least harmful things to eat are sustainably culled w... TRISTRAM STUART Some areas [of Sebago] have adequate ice, but there are some areas where the ice is inadequate. By o... TOM NOONAN The world does not consist of 100 percent Christians and 100 percent non-Christians. There are peopl... C.S. LEWIS This Self is never born, nor does It die. It did not spring from anything, nor did anything spring f... THE UPANISHADS There are some things one remembers even though they may never have happened. HAROLD PINTER On the contrary. Internationalism also recognizes, by its very name, that nations do exist. It simpl... CHRISTIAN LOUS LANGE The thirst for something other than what we have…to bring something new, even if it is worse, some... MARCEL PROUST There may be a time in life when one is tired of everything and feels as if all one does is wrong, a... VINCENT VAN GOGH A thinking mind is not swallowed up by what it comes to know. It reaches out to grasp something rela... ANNE CARSON A million zeros joined together do not, unfortunately, add up to one. Ultimately everything depends ... C.G. JUNG Even in a day of overdone distinctions, one might point out that interpretations are not properly to... JAMES DENNEY There does seem to be this dichotomy of views with some saying the equity markets are still underval... NEIL PARKER Flowers are an easy, eloquent expression of love at a time when words can seem clumsy and inadequate... LYNN COADY He had a harder time helping her out though. He was asleep while she was doing stars. Without wings,... LAURIE FRANKEL Some people have loved ones they will not forsake, even though they are a pain in the neck. LEWIS B. SMEDES Walt Whitman is the only great modern poet who does not seem to experience discord when he faces his... OCTAVIO PAZ God allows unjust disparities between rich and poor because He does not miraculously intervene to es... PETER KREEFT Even though we are increasing the numbers of people we can train, it seems like lots of them are lea... BRUCE SCHROEDER There's no confusion in our office as to what it's for. It absolutely does not have anything to do w... DAVID BERGERON Does the person report having had the experience of meeting people she does not know but who seem to... ELIZABETH F. HOWELL It does not seem that there is a huge problem with major impact, but definitely there are some probl... DR. RAOULT RATARD A man would rather have a hundred lies told of him than one truth which he does not wish should be k... SAMUEL JOHNSON An identity based in the one-way love of God does not take into account public opinion or, thankfull... TULLIAN TCHIVIDJIAN Even though these numbers on an absolute basis look cheap, we view it as not being as cheap as it lo... RICHARD WILLIAMS Of the four billion life forms which have existed on this planet, three billion, nine hundred and si... P.D. JAMES India is a regional power. It does not need anything to establish it. GARY ACKERMAN An identity would seem to be arrived at by the way in which the person faces and uses his experience... JAMES BALDWIN When a person dies who does any one thing better than anyone else in the world, which so many others... WILLIAM HAZLITT The knowledge of numbers is one of the chief distinctions between us and the brutes MARY WORLEY MONTAGU We could not be alive without identity; it seems that even in a coma, identity is still there. DOMO GESHE Even though I've been overseas and raced against some of the best and toughest drivers in the world,... JAMES COURTNEY [... Dance] involves every possible feeling (as potential), because it is of the body, which is live... SONDRA HORTON FRALEIGH A name is a kind of face by whereby one is known THOMAS FULLER Life is a series of experiences, each of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize th... HENRY FORD And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my v... BIBLE Our study, even though it has yet to yield the dramatic results that some might have hoped for, does... DR. ROSS PRENTICE It is still not enough for language to have clarity and content... it must also have a goal and an i... RENE DAUMAL
More Ambrose Bierce
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AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ... AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions. AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b... AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e... AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand... AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean , n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g... AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m... AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi... AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th... AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on. AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others. AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ... AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes... AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat. AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co... AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no... AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan... AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi... AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify. AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover... AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support. AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un... AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t... AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward. AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen... AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live. AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy. AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti... AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me! AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire. AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta... AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state. AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis... AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please... AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl... AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give... AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien... AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C. AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ... AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws. AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k... AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip. AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free. AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones. AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw. AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad... AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age. AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha... AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does. AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom... AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen. AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie... AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world. AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou... AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o... AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead. AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart. AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso... AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi... AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ... AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte... AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima... AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ... AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o... AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde... AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus... AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com... AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m... AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So... AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie... AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc... AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh... AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover. AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of... AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci... AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s... AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters. AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai... AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking. AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ... AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ... AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the... AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ... AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up. AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist , n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive , adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater , n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa... AMBROSE BIERCE