Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action.

If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.