It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
Woody Allen
Related It is a known secret that organized crime in America takes in over 40 billion dollars a year. This i... WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi... WOODY ALLEN It is a lie. ARTHUR MILLER I definitely have a little Woody Allen inside of me. That is true. AUTRE NE VEUT I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films... ABBAS KIAROSTAMI Russia's biggest problem is organized crime and its leaders are influenced by the Russian mafia. But... DAVID DUKE I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix. DEYTH BANGER He wept because he was afraid now that he could not save Gabriel. He no longer cared about himself LOIS LOWRY If the music business grew by a billion dollars, if the paperback book business grew by a billion do... CRAIG KORNBLAU It seems we might be a little more generous with the distribution of dollars when we're talking abou... KAREN WOODALL Life is weird and wonderful like that, is it not. SONYA.E.WILLIAMS No 27-year-old has the experience to run a company that does a quarter of a billion dollars a year i... CALVIN KLEIN I believe this company is able to get back a couple of billion dollars in revenue, and business inte... GEORGE SHAHEEN I'm the only person I know that's lost a quarter of a billion dollars in one year.... It's very char... STEVE JOBS a very long-standing interest and success in investigating and prosecuting Russian organized crime, ... JAMES COMEY Our foreign-exchange reserves when I took over were no more than a billion dollars; that is, roughly... MANMOHAN SINGH It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He di... RADHA MITCHELL If GE's strategy of investment in China is wrong, it represents a loss of a billion dollars, perhaps... JACK WELCH Life is not a game. Still, in this life, we choose the games we live to play. J.R. RIM In addition, California spends nearly $1 billion a year in Medi-Cal services for an average of 780,0... ELTON GALLEGLY This is the fourth year in a row now that the Allen Tournament has been altered by rain. I know that... KAREN KALHOEFER Being present is being connected to All Things. S. KELLEY HARRELL, M. DIV. If GE's strategy of investment in China is wrong, it represents a loss of a billion dollars, per... JACK WELCH One conviction that netted $9,000 in penalties hardly seems worth an investment of over a third of a... ROSS ARMSTRONG The process of filmmaking is very musical, you get into the rhythm and the rhythmics of how someone ... CHARLOTTE RAMPLING His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha... TEKOA MANNING The figure is expected to hit 28 billion dollars this year, WEN JIABAO Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian. CATE BLANCHETT Through this partnership, the NGLCC will ensure that LGBT businesses have access to bid on the more ... JUSTIN NELSON That half-a-billion dollars didn't benefit one child in this state. He has got to show us a business... ASSEMBLYMAN GREENWALD That half-a-billion dollars didn't benefit one child in this state. He has got to show us a business... ASSEMBLYMAN LOUIS GREENWALD It's potentially very significant because it's no secret that there's a split in organized labor. Th... ANDREW ROTHERHAM The industry has been looking forward to this arrival for a year now. With the kind of money that is... GREG JARBOE Woody Allen said that 95% of history is explained as a man trying to impress a woman. And that's... MITT ROMNEY Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has the most expensive hometown o... JAY LENO If we engage in a conflict that we know this is a threat to America, we should make it so one-sided ... KEVIN MCCARTHY It is quite a mystery for everybody who this little dog is and where she came from. She is very comf... CARLEEN NEWMAN Life is a re-discovery. BRIAN BLESSED If you think that life is a celebration full of party poppers and merry go rounds it's not it's a ga... GARY F EVANS... Life Is a Misconception. DEYTH BANGER Life is a desire! DEYTH BANGER To trust someone you must firstly remember that it is a two way street that will go all the way if y... GARY F EVANS... I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories... ROMAN COPPOLA A billion dollars every week for Iraq, $87 billion for Iraq. We can't get $5 billion for childca... JIM WALLIS Concerned Veterans for America (CVA) has called for an audit of the Pentagon, so that we finally hav... PETE HEGSETH In America, we no longer have an institutionalized, organized way of calling business to task - of t... THOMAS FRANK Very few people have actually read Freud, but everyone seems prepared to talk about him in that Wood... BILLY COLLINS There is no contract in the world where the company would wait a year and not expect to have an incr... HUGH HOLUB Mother Superior jump the gun... -The Beatles, Happiness is a Warm Gun LAUREN MYRACLE Over half a billion dollars a day is being spent by FEMA. THAD COCHRAN My early prose style - this is so embarrassing - was sort of a suburban, Presbyterian knockoff of Wo... JOHN HUGHES Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche. T. J. MILLER White-collar crime isn't something that just takes place in Erie County. There shouldn't be any rest... CHRIS HENDERSON There has been a trend of organized crime moving away from traditional commodities like drugs, tobac... ERNIE ALLEN You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace." I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl... TAMMARA WEBBER The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha... FRANCINE RIVERS In properly organized groups no faith is required; what is required is simply a little trust and eve... GEORGE GURDJIEFF In properly organized groups no faith is required; what is required is simply a little trust and eve... GURDJIEFF In the '60s - and right up to the present day - the identity of a member of the British Secret S... JOHN LE CARRE J. Edgar Hoover very famously denied the existence of organized crime up until the Appalachian Meeti... TERENCE WINTER My secret is one the world needs to know - nearly a billion people a year die from unsafe drinking w... BELLA THORNE These philosophically fun ideas usually satisfy nobody. Nonetheless, they remind us that ignorance i... NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON I believe that life is a journey towards God, and that no one has the right to insist that you go a ... PAT BUCKLEY You can only imagine that they could end up spending an incremental billion to billion and a half [d... BRENDAN BARNICLE Many people think that buying a fake product is harmless, but counterfeiting is estimated to result ... TORY BURCH One of the magical things about photography is the transformation that takes place when you photogra... GRANT MUDFORD This is my fundamental teaching: that there is no division between this and that. That is contained ... OSHO Woody Allen's movies are so much a part of me. I grew up watching them over and over and would r... NOAH BAUMBACH The human murder by poverty in Latin America is secret. Every year, without making a sound, three Hi... EDUARDO GALEANO The human murder by poverty in Latin America is secret: every year, without making a sound, three Hi... EDUARDO GALEANO The central demographic is a forty-two year old woman with an average household income of about 90,0... AMY DANIELS For me, my life is a journey. JAY ELECTRONICA I sold a billion dollars worth of apartments last year, most of it for conversion. BYRON MOGER If I provide for this life and turn away from the Lord, I am wise for a moment, but lost forever. FRANCINE RIVERS The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha... FRANCINE RIVERS This is the largest organized crime and gambling case in Fairfax County's history. CAPTAIN VICE This is the largest organized crime and gambling case in Fairfax County's history. CAPTAIN DAVID VICE We ended the year with over a billion dollars in cash reserves, a 21 percent return on invested capi... BRIAN HALLA We ended the year with over a billion dollars in cash reserves, a 21 percent return on invested capi... BRIAN L. HALLA Forty-three per cent of the benefit goes to the wealthiest one per cent, those who are making $900,0... KENT CONRAD Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It'... DAVID LETTERMAN No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old, and that I know. DWIGHT DAVID EISENHOWER No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old, and that I know. DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER It seems that our politicians see the world in black and white, so why not our artists? Did Woody Al... ALEXANDER PAYNE Love isn't the work of the tender and the gentle; Love is the work of wrestlers. The one w... JALALUDDIN MEVLANA RUMI The opportunity to decieve others is ever present and often tempting, and each instance of deception... SAM HARRIS Life is a risk. CARMELO ANTHONY That facility, when it is fully built out is going to take $1.5 billion in investments, and the lion... CURT NICHOLS I hate Woody Allen physically, I dislike that kind of man. ORSON WELLES Today A woman is one who tries to bring a man down. A man is one who has to keep that woman in check... APURVA GAGLANI It is so fascinating that when after a hard stressful day we calm our mind and release the stress fr... GARY F EVANS... I love 'Husbands and Wives,' Woody Allen's movie. It's like one of my all-time favor... ZOE LISTER-JONES One example was the assertion that a seven-year FBI study revealed no evidence of organized cult or ... PAMELA SUE PERSKIN There is one person in charge of every office in America and that person is Charles Darwin. CHARLIE GRANDY Working with Woody Allen is like filming Howard Hughes's will. It's a very mysterious and st... MICHAEL O'DONOGHUE We have a $24 billion business that consumers absolutely love. And yet, there is very little content... CRAIG KORNBLAU The initial information indicates that organized crime was involved in the killings of these two pub... RUBEN AGUILAR Exxon-Mobil alone, one oil company, brought in more than $7.6 billion dollars in profits over the la... LOUISE SLAUGHTER It takes a little doing to get everything organized. LYLE JOHNSON It's organized crime. You say [just] a bunch of pimps and prostitutes, but when you string the threa... CHIP BURRUS
More Woody Allen
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot... WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker. WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in... WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman... WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m... WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w... WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!' WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards. WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk. WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing. WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum... WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death. WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself. WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha... WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old! WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white... WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me! WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social. WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right. WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it. WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me. WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th... WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable. WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires. WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y... WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -... WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and... WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else. WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked... WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu... WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.. WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope. WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I... WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature. WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down. WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba... WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead. WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ... WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut... WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An... WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up. WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy... WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc... WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'. WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ... WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an... WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours. WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans. WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF. WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ... WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw... WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ... WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year. WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway. WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t... WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi... WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f... WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o... WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance. WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t... WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin... WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da... WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa... WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou... WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h... WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen. WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi... WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo... WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving? WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird. WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something. WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately? WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job. WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ... WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead. WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ... WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi. WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m... WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat... WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--... WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab... WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun... WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size? WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ... WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g... WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther... WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter... WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre... WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag... WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y... WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends. WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires. WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare... WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty. WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words. WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle! WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland. WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca... WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ. WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews... WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca... WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge... WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words. WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says... WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr... WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better, [Cloquet... WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective. WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you.... WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow... WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth. WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed. WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad... WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The... WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants. WOODY ALLEN We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc... WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1 . He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t... WOODY ALLEN My brain? That's my second favorite organ. WOODY ALLEN