It was in the defects that they [servants] invariably acquired that I learned of my own natural, invariable defects, and their character presented me with a sort of negative proof of my own.

Reckless. Insatiable. Deceptive. Clingy. Vain. Dismissive. Trivial. Violent. Tactless. Controlling. Impractical. Fearful. Think of one example in your past where you exhibited each of these traits. Whatever memory comes to your mind will usually provide you with a clear illustration. Know that you have the capacity to exhibit all defects.

Better you discover your defects through self-examination rather than learn about them from others.

All my defects of character come from old ways of thinking.

I ask others for insights about me, because I have defects I can't see.

If I focus on my own defects, other's defects won't bother me.