It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.

Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.