It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.

The difference between keeping things clean and keeping kids clean was that things just sat still and waited for the dirt to collect. We kids were carriers. We ran a pickup and delivery service.

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.