It's all about social acceptance and being in the in-crowd, the good-old-boys' club. It's no different than a high school clique, except the stakes are higher.

You're seeing a lot of younger men with older women and it's because there are no defined rules of engagement. Anything goes socially . . . women in their 30s and 40s are open to dating men in their 20s.

You can argue that it's a different world now than the one when Matthew Shepard was killed, but there is a subtle difference between tolerance and acceptance. It's the distance between moving into the cul-de-sac and having your next door neighbor trust you to keep an eye on her preschool daughter for a few minutes while she runs out to the post office. It's the chasm between being invited to a colleague's wedding with your same-sex partner and being able to slow-dance without the other guests whispering.

Small boys were a mystery to Sylvie. The satisfaction they gained from throwing sticks or stones for hours on end, the obsessive collection of inanimate objects, the brutal destruction of the fragile world around them, all seemed at odds with the men they were supposed to become.

All wars are boyish, and are fought by boys

It's like getting two fat boys in the ring, ... and whoever wins gets to eat.