It's been good for me. Full circle. Eighteen years ago, I was able to pitch my first game here.

I look at this as a second life. Every game feels like an event. Every pitch matters. I need that. It elevates your aggressiveness.

I love the game very much, but when you were a certain type of player for a few years, being a front-end starter, that's the way I still think I can pitch. But the body tells you no.

It's a very big mental game, all day leading up to warm-ups. You're not sure if your curveball will break, or will you be able to throw it over the plate? It's all negative thoughts going into the game.

I think there's a lot of variables and factors. Obviously, I've got to feel good, feel healthy. I have to feel as though the way I'm throwing the ball is good and effective. I have to know that if I am feeling good and throwing the ball with quality pitches, I have to feel I'm wanted or needed by the organization.

Pitches are like pages of a book; they're so important. The chess game; how I set you up early, and how I'll do it differently later.