It's funny because the team's really gotten better, even lately. Players don't see improvement during stretches like this but coaches do and it's there. Even from just six or seven games ago, we've improved in certain areas.

Pitching is our biggest improvement from last year. But, the team's attitude is a lot better, too. The team chemistry has improved, and that shows in everything we've done so far this year.

Oh my, you big stud, your dancing boobs have enchanted me with your hypnotic sexual magnitudeness.

There are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone's face is in close proximity to your penis.

This was not one of those times.

We were kissing.
I thought: This is good.
I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.
I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the history of the universe.
Suddenly she laughed and pulled away from me. She wiggled a hand out of her sleeping bag and wiped her face. "You slobbered on my nose," she said, and laughed

It's not because I want to make out with her."
Hold on." He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he'd just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked back up at me. "I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit