Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man.
Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect.

Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure.

Happiness is working with Jack Lemmon.

Making movies is a little like walking into a dark room. Some people stumble across furniture, others break their legs, but some of us see better in the dark than others. The ultimate trick is to convince, persuade. Every single person out there is an idiot, but collectively they're a genius.

It used to be that we in films were the lowest form of art. Now we have something to look down on. (Of Television)

What critics call dirty in our pictures, they call lusty in foreign films.