Jews don't care about ancient rivalries. We worry about humidity in Miami.

Jews were asked when life begins. For them it's when they finally graduate medical school.

I am tired of angry feminists. I like my women happy, gregarious... and bathed.

At the Olympics in China, every color was represented... and that was just the drinking water.

Mitt Romney is a true Mormon. John Edwards and Bill Clinton are not real Mormons. It was not 'Brigham Young' they were chanting. It was 'Bring 'em young.'

Barack Obama says that we need to be humble toward terrorism. Yet he is the one we have been waiting for. That is humble?