Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
Dennis Miller
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One night while KLIPH NESTEROFF Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of...
JOE ROGAN Imagination is the highest kite one can fly. -Lauren Bacall.
LAUREN BACALL He has done shows for celebrities like Regis Philbin and Joan Rivers.
SCOTT KONKOL It's cinematographic to smoke. Imagine Lauren Bacall without a cigarette.
MARJANE SATRAPI Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.
CRISS JAMI Surgery is not going to improve your skin - all it's going to do is make you look tighter, like ...
MARIE HELVIN Joan is very funny. I'm always telling her she's a fraud: Everyone thinks she's fragile and humorles...
NORA EPHRON Two Five Letter Words: Lenny Bruce
ARTHUR GODFREY A woman telling her true age is like a buyer confiding his final price to an Armenian rug dealer.
MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN I've been telling him all year he needs to be more aggressive and shoot more. We've had to encourage...
SKIP PROSSER Bruce is a very compelling story. We're telling the story of a man who's here to tell a story.
CHRISTOPHER JOHNSON Lauren Bacall, James Garner, and Jack Lemmon - they're all gone now, but I was so impressed by t...
JOHN HEARD Next to her, I felt like Carrot Top in drag.
Cat re: Annette
JEANIENE FROST My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce.
DAVID STEINBERG As a bounty hunter, I have to dress the part. If I came to the door and looked like Carrot Top, you&...
DUANE CHAPMAN Tony Blair was telling Murdoch what he wanted to hear because he needs Murdoch's support,
MARTIN BELL I don't have an act. I just talk. I'm just Lenny Bruce.
LENNY BRUCE There are a lot of unknowns about these diseases, and CWD is probably the most enigmatic.
GLENN TELLING This shows muscle contains infected material. Anybody who may be handling or eating infected deer ma...
GLENN TELLING What I don't want to do is be an alarmist. What I wanted to do with this paper is to address some ob...
GLENN TELLING If I were to eat venison I wouldn't feel comfortable eating venison from areas where chronic wasting...
GLENN TELLING Bill Maher fancies himself the reincarnation of Lenny Bruce.
BERNARD GOLDBERG Lenny Bruce is a very moral man trying to improve the world and trying to make audiences think.
DOROTHY KILGALLEN My mom is always telling me it takes a long time to get to the top, but a short time to get to the b...
MILEY CYRUS If we could get her to play like that every night, there's no telling how good she could be.
BRIAN HARRIGAN His whole personality was like an elaborate joke that he never stopped telling.
LEV GROSSMAN In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
UNKNOWN But the only comparison that I want to Lenny Bruce is that I'm funny. I'm Freddie Prinze, Pu...
FREDDIE PRINZE I think Carrot Top is hilarious.
CRAIG ROBINSON The truth is . . . Well, the truth is the truth, and thus worth telling, but sometimes truths are so...
MERRIE HASKELL It is the lies he's telling her - as he has been, Nassun understands suddenly, her whole life - that...
N.K. JEMISIN Being an actor is an extension of telling a story and I loved story telling as a child.
AMANDA BURTON He was telling an interesting anecdote full of exciting words like "encyclopedia" and "rhododendron"...
A.A. MILNE A Joan Crawford dress looks really good on an hourglass figure.
TRINNY WOODALL It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he...
JOE ROGAN Telling someone about what a symbol means is like telling someone how music should make them feel.
DAN BROWN This is telling me, personally, that something is wrong. But we still have to see what happens later...
DR. JOEL GALLANT Life is an audition.
THOMAS FLAJNIK - ANTICHIMERAPODAL I told you what his salary was. Y'all act like I was telling you wrong.
CHARLES BROOKS If the side effects of an antidepressant drug are hallucinations telling you to kill yourself, there...
RANDOLPH GORDON Country music is all about telling stories, and we're just telling a little different one.
TAYLOR DYE When I read the actual story - how Gatsby loves Daisy so much but can't ever be with her no matter h...
MATTHEW QUICK When I was 16 or 17, I saw Lenny Bruce being taken to jail. They took him off stage because he talke...
PAUL MOONEY A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're...
RICKY GERVAIS All's well that carries on well
AMIT ABRAHAM I mean, I was always interested in people like Lenny Bruce, people who are breaking the old rules an...
FAYE DUNAWAY Try chewing carrots, it's crunchy
SOTONYE ANGA Bruce Wayne is Batman. He became Batman the instant his parents were murdered. Batman needs Bruce, h...
KEVIN CONROY Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was tel...
JAMIE FOXX Getting fired is nature's way to telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place.
HAL LANCASTER No. 1 ? that he was telling us all along that he will not get paid. And No. 2, to take away this mon...
DAVID MERMELSTEIN Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.
SPENCER JOHNSON Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.
SPENCER JOHNSON If you find yourself drawn to an event against all logic, go. The universe is telling you something.
GLORIA STEINEM The kiss & tell being is a person with very low self esteem,so he/she got to boost his/her ego by te...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) The person I talked to didn't believe me when I told her I was getting the wrong bill. She kept tell...
JIM TOTH It is an occupational hazard that anyone who has spent her life learning how to lie eventually becom...
ALLY CARTER Telling the truth to yourself is Integrity; Telling the truth to others is Honesty; Telling the trut...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR Telling the truth is less demanding than telling a lie.
ERALDO BANOVAC Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual.
MICHAEL IAN BLACK In my opinion, Lenny Bruce was more of an influence on Zappa's satirical lyric's than anyone...
JIMMY CARL BLACK We know there needs to be diversity in storytellers telling their own stories. I think there's a...
AVA DUVERNAY There are a lot of ways to check her story out and that's what we have been telling people. She didn...
HELEN ADAMS She always been an assistant (in club) and she never said much, but every once in a while (as head c...
LINDSY EVANS My mom choreographed the top Olympians; she's really the queen of ice in her world, so I kind of...
HAYLEY KIYOKO She was telling us that he dumped her in the garbage, that he cut her clothes off, threw her shoes, ...
DERRICK JOSEPH I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.
ANONYMOUS I never fired anyone for telling me I was wrong.
GRAHAM SPEECHLEY It is like what (Oakland Mayor) Jerry Brown said, 'You can't go this far with mayors,' ... It is lik...
ALLEN SETTLE Telling people how to get better is aggressive; answering them when they ask is kind.
JIM GENOVESE I was also a big Woody Allen fan. When I got into college I listened to Lenny Bruce but it's tak...
MARC MARON Telling me to relax or smile when I’m angry is like bringing a birthday cake into an ape sanctuary...
AMY POEHLER He never stood out. Even today, we were hoping maybe for a top-10 finish. We were telling Ted to be ...
BILL LIGETY Will, the boy who loved the same books she did, the same poetry she did, who made her laugh even whe...
CASSANDRA CLARE I wanted to live where I could pop to the bar that Humphrey Bogart took Lauren Bacall to, or the lit...
ASHLEY JENSEN The great advantage about telling the truth is that nobody ever believes it.
DOROTHY L. SAYERS They made a very detrimental move by telling us who brought back the team morale over there -- Bruce...
AUSTIN CARTY It's like a doctor telling someone who loves to eat high cholesterol foods that he may get a heart a...
IRIANTI ERNINGPRAJA Dennis needs to phone home.
JOSE RIVERA I'll be 80 years old next month. I'll never get through telling her my life. I don't have all the ti...
ED PREWIT Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread.
D. T. NILES All we can do is go around telling the truth.
CARSON MCCULLERS If there's a morale problem at United Airlines, the employees aren't telling people about it. Their ...
MIKE BOYD He was basically telling me that I was working way too hard. He was telling me, calm down.
CHARLES WELDON the definition of insanity is the whole world telling you you're dead wrong, when you couldn't be mo...
KENNETH WATERS JR I was extremely impressed with Lauren Miller. She finally had a more consistent match. I think this ...
AARON LYNN I had to keep telling her I'd promised not to let her violate me.
CARRIE JONES As a father, I always want my son to be perfect. When he was young, I tried to train him in martial ...
JACKIE CHAN I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life...
PENN JILLETTE Carrot Top... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me.
RIP TAYLOR Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself
DALE CARNEGIE [He insisted that Democrats were heading in the wrong direction before he took over, telling] View ....
JOY BEHAR Situations like that are when Lauren is in her domain. She's such a competitor and she refuses to ge...
DENISE AINSWORTH I keep telling people that the library is a changing dynamic, and it is hard to get that message acr...
KRYSTA TEPPER Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people.
PHILIP GUEDALLA Autobiography is an unrivalled vehicle for telling the truth about other people.
PHILIP GUEDALLA She's just got an instinct for knowing where the ball is coming down. I don't want anyone to take th...
JAY PARKER Just like I've been telling people all year, Ryan isn't going anywhere.
DON MILLER I just felt for Lauren it is a better opportunity for her to go off, get away from home and have an ...
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DENNIS PRAGER The essence of the Hebrew Bible, transmitted by Christianity, is separation: between life and death,...
DENNIS PRAGER Of all the characteristics needed for both a happy and morally decent life, none surpasses gratitude...
DENNIS PRAGER Hamas is a terrorist organization dedicated to annihilating the Jewish state. It runs a theocratic t...
DENNIS PRAGER There is no limit to suffering human beings have been willing to inflict on others, no matter how in...
DENNIS PRAGER If your religion doesn't teach you the difference between good and evil, your religion is worse ...
DENNIS PRAGER There's a lot more power in calm than in vituperation.
DENNIS PRAGER For the Left, tolerance does not mean tolerance. It means first, acceptance. And second, celebration...
DENNIS PRAGER Complaining not only ruins everybody else's day, it ruins the complainer's day, too. The mor...
DENNIS PRAGER As you get older and wiser you realize that when people are given anything without having to earn it...
DENNIS PRAGER This life is like a swimming pool. You dive into the water, but you can't see how deep it is.
DENNIS RODMAN I think first impressions are important when you pick up a script.
DENNIS FARINA Rather than dividing the world between good and evil, the Left divided the world in terms of economi...
DENNIS PRAGER Between the three, Facebook is literally everyone I've ever shaken hands with at a conference or...
DENNIS CROWLEY Coming back to a television series puts you back in the limelight and gives you a platform for your ...
DENNIS WEAVER If we had a hydrogen economy worldwide, every nation on earth could create its own energy source to ...
DENNIS WEAVER We're the only species that have crapped up the planet and the only species that can clean it up...
DENNIS WEAVER I feel responsible; I feel I've got to do something that will leave the kids a place where they ...
DENNIS WEAVER When we realize we can make a buck cleaning up the environment, it will be done!
DENNIS WEAVER