Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.


Lemony Snicket

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Of course I'm trying to trick you!" Olaf cried. "That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody...
LEMONY SNICKET
Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they...
LEMONY SNICKET
Aha!"

My chaperone looked at me like I should aha! back, but all I could m...
LEMONY SNICKET
Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down o...
LEMONY SNICKET
There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If...
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It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l...
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But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed perso...
LEMONY SNICKET
They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I...
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It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway....
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Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except p...
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It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know...
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The map is not the territory.
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I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else.
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Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.
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You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I...
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I thought maybe if I stared hard enough, I could see the lights of the city I had left so very far b...
LEMONY SNICKET
The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that librarie...
LEMONY SNICKET
There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap,...
LEMONY SNICKET
I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, becau...
LEMONY SNICKET
There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frigh...
LEMONY SNICKET
Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because chi...
LEMONY SNICKET
So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. I...
LEMONY SNICKET
The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drif...
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A mystery is solved with a story.
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I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get ...
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage ...
LEMONY SNICKET
Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will e...
LEMONY SNICKET
There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap...
LEMONY SNICKET
Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it befo...
LEMONY SNICKET
They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire...
LEMONY SNICKET
How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus ...
LEMONY SNICKET
I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do...
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There is nothing wrong with crying at the end of a long day.
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being skeptical is a good thing for a journalist, because it means you don't completely trust anyone...
LEMONY SNICKET
There are people in the world who care about automobiles, and there are people who couldn't care les...
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Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would s...
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There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curiou...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is never seven that you count to, before you do something difficult. It is never at the count of ...
LEMONY SNICKET
The three of us stood there for a minute. I don’t know what Stew was thinking, and the filing cabi...
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When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
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I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, ...
LEMONY SNICKET
They can teach you anything. That doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it.
LEMONY SNICKET
The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they'r...
LEMONY SNICKET
I thought the war was a simple matter, with one side good and the other evil. But the more I read, t...
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Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get yo...
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Of course you can trust me," Jake Hix said. "We read the same books.
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It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.
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Nobody should feel pain all by themselves.
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There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matt...
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It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought,...
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