Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away.

I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.''

I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.

I love clothes, so when I wear clothes, they're usually somebody's. You know, I'm not wearing Kmart.

I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair.

There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don't seem to have time now.