Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along. . . .

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. BY all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, "Never mind! I'll do it myself."