Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.

I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting.

Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.

Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.

So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?"

"That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney."

"Oh, really?"

"O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?"

"Very good. You should be on the stage."

"It's funny you should mention that."

The passport officer groaned. Ten more minutes and his shift would have been over. "I was being sarcastic, actually. . ."

"Because my friend, Mr. McGuire, and I are also doing a stint in the Christmas pantomime. It's Snow White. I'm Doc, and he's Dopey."

The passport officer forced a smile. "Very good. Next."

Mulch spoke for the entire line to hear. "Of course, Mr. McGuire there was born to play Dopey, if you catch my drift."

Loafers lost it right there in the terminal. "You little freak!" he screamed. "I'll kill you! You'll be my next tattoo! You'll be my next tattoo!"

Much tutted as Loafers disappeared beneath half a dozen security guards.

"Actors," he said. "Highly strung.