LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp." --Calcraft the Hangman.

HEMP, n. A plant from whose fibrous bark is made an article of neckwear which is frequently put on after public speaking in the open air and prevents the wearer from taking cold.

HANDKERCHIEF, n. A small square of silk or linen, used in various ignoble offices about the face and especially serviceable at funerals to conceal the lack of tears. The handkerchief is of recent invention; our ancestors knew nothing of it and intrusted its duties to the sleeve. Shakespeare's introducing it into the play of "Othello" is an anachronism: Desdemona dried her nose with her skirt, as Dr. Mary Walker and other reformers have done with their coattails in our own day --an evidence that revolutions sometimes go backward.

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar.

MYRMIDON, n. A follower of Achilles --particularly when he didn't lead.