Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, "I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster." Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.


Ellen DeGeneres

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

If you are thinking whether to cry or laugh, cry.
NIKOLA IVANOVSKI
You either laugh or you cry. The crying comes later.
JAN PINNEY
The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I...
MARJORIE PAY HINCKLEY
... sometimes in life, you either laugh or you cry. And I prefer to laugh.
JIM STOVALL
Baby, it's either laugh or cry and crying takes way too much energy. If you can't find humor in the ...
SHERRILYN KENYON
Laugh and the whole world will laugh with you, Cry and you will cry alone!
MERYY LINAY
Those who laugh with you when you laugh are acquaintances, those who cry with you when you cry are c...
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO
I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you ...
SAM KINISON
If what you do gets people to cry, laugh or say 'wow'...you did good. If they do all three, you did ...
LORRIN L. LEE
friends are the persons who make you laugh when you cry
SHANTHIPRIYA
We tend to think of extremes of emotions as registering, for example, you have to cry or laugh or ge...
GABRIEL BYRNE
A mirror can do something better for you which maybe your best friend can’t. Cry and it will cry w...
VIKRANT PARSAI
No, my young apprentice. You said the exact right thing. Again. I'm just laughing at life."
"Wh...
P.C. CAST
If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if...
JOHN CLEESE
The main thing in one's own private world is to try to laugh as much as you cry.
MAYA ANGELOU
Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts... because its the only thing that'll m...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN
I keep reminding people that an editorial in rhyme is not a song. A good song makes you laugh, it ma...
PETE SEEGER
You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love some...
JOHN MAYER
You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love some...
ROY CROFT
Sometimes you had to laugh if only to keep from crying.
ROBERT JORDAN
It's when you cry just a little, but you laugh in the middle that you've made it.
JASON MRAZ
Eat till you're full. Play anytime you want. Sleep as much as you like. Cry. Get angry. Laugh. Live....
KAZUYA MINEKURA
You laugh at love... but love will make you cry.
- Yasu
AI YAZAWA
There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep fro...
BOB NEWHART
Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion.
JANE AUSTEN
If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possi...
MAYA ANGELOU
... it looked at me as it passed, smiling in that crazy-happy way that dogs do. And I started laughi...
EM BAILEY
If you can't laugh when things go bad--laugh and put on a little carnival--then you're either dead o...
STEPHEN KING
As a comedian, I'm forced to have a tough skin. Until people laugh, they are detractors. You wal...
TREVOR NOAH
I didn't steal her from you, I just made her laugh twice as many times as you made her cry.
SAMUEL H. LOWE
Sometimes you need a good laugh, and then there are times when you need a good cry.
CHRISSIE FIT
Oh, come on. If you can't laugh at the walking dead, who can you laugh at?
UNKNOWN
Beware of laugh at and laugh with; the only people who laugh at you are the ones who pretend to laug...
VIKRANT PARSAI
If you can't laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?
TIGER WOODS
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
ANONYMOUS
I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much... because it's the only thing ...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN
Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Laugh at your friends, and if your friends are sore; So much the better, you may laugh the more.
HENRY WARD BEECHER
What you are about to read are based on true events. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, a...
MELISSA M. FUTRELL
Kind reader! take your choice to cry or laugh; Here Harod lies--but where's his Epitaph? If s...
LORD BYRON (GEORGE GORDON NOEL BYRON)
Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
You may laugh at people for what they do, but never laugh at what they are.
VIKRANT PARSAI
Fashion is instant. It makes you feel something the second you see it on a body... whether you love ...
CHARLI XCX
They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room fo...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh abo...
MARIE OSMOND
You enjoy it more if you can laugh at it.
SOURCE UNKNOWN
I love playing different characters and I love doing fun things and I love to entertain people, whet...
MILA KUNIS
It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don...
JIMMY CARR
If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it ...
RUSSELL LYNES
If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it ...
J. RUSSELL LYNES
Love is what makes you want to cry and laugh at the same time.
VALERIE ROSE STERRETT
Think crazily, even if others laugh at you. Act bravely, even if you are all alone.
DILIP BATHIJA
People have stars, but they aren't the same. For travelers, the stars are guides. For other people, ...
ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPéRY
Everything is funny, if you can laugh at it.
LEWIS CARROLL
Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI
If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
YOU QUANXI
In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
HARRY YOU
The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
HARRY YOU
We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
HARRY YOU
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK
You will know you are in love when it doesn't matter if you sit in heaven or hell with that special ...
SHANNON L. ALDER
You can laugh, but I will get the last laugh.
ALVIN STARKS
It's such a great feeling to make people laugh. I know I've made people cry or want to slit ...
JOAN ALLEN
Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh.
CARL REINER
If you can laugh at it then you can live with it
SOURCE UNKNOWN
The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you ca...
RUSSELL LYNES
The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you c...
J. RUSSEL LYNES
The only graceful way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it. If you ca...
J. RUSSELL LYNES
It's such a great feeling to make people laugh. I know I've made people cry or want to slit their wr...
JOAN ALLEN
Oh, Mona, we're all damned fools! Some of us just have more fun with it than others. Loosen up, dear...
ARMISTEAD MAUPIN
People cry and laugh on silliest, shallowest things
MJ CHRISTINE
I think laughter is the best medicine. If you can't laugh at yourself, then you can't laugh ...
DAVID HASSELHOFF
But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do...
ALAN MOORE
Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry...
GLENDA JACKSON
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK
If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking , they can make you laugh.
P.C. CAST
If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are goi...
LEO HOWARD
When you slip on a banana peel, people laugh at you; but when you tell people you slipped on a banan...
NORA EPHRON
Laugh, and the world will join in; cry and whine, and that same world will tell you to shut the hell...
MELISSA SZYMANSKI
To me there are three things everyone should do every day. Number one is laugh. Number two is think ...
JIM VALVANO
Death is not a laughing matter, so laugh while you are alive.
VIKRANT PARSAI
There are many things evil people can take from you. However, they can never steal your ability to l...
SHANNON L. ALDER
If a woman laughs when you hurt her, you ought to cry, for you have lost her; if she cries, you may ...
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO
It was good to laugh. I wanted to laugh and laugh and laugh until I laughed myself into becoming som...
BENJAMIN ALIRE SáENZ
Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
BRANDI SNYDER
Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
MARK TWAIN
Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
MARIA ROBINSON
Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
SWEDISH PROVERB
Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
SHERRILYN KENYON
“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”
ASHISH KUMAR
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
OSCAR WILDE
Figure out what makes you laugh, and do more of it. Figure out what makes you cry, and do less of it...
MANDY HALE
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
ROBERT ORBEN
If you can laugh together, you can work together
ROBERT ORBEN
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX
Good friends laugh at you, laugh with you, but never laugh behind your back.
SARU SINGHAL
When you find yourself beginning to feel a bond between yourself and the people you photograph, when...
ARTHUR FELLIG
You can spill drinks on me, even spit on me. I'll just laugh about it. But If you dare to hurt my fr...
EIICHIRō ODA

More Ellen DeGeneres

I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I would love for the world to be happier.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that's ever happened to me...
ELLEN DEGENERES
So many people prefer to live in drama because it's comfortable. It's like someone staying i...
ELLEN DEGENERES
If you're going to be honest with yourself, you have to admit that you go into show business wan...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think peop...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
ELLEN DEGENERES
And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happe...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.
ELLEN DEGENERES
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens....
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm just saying we can all work on our manners. We can say please and thank you. We can be punctual....
ELLEN DEGENERES
Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear a...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should reali...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.
ELLEN DEGENERES
If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES
If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birt...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You just have to keep driving down the road. It's going to bend and curve and you'll speed up and sl...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Haiku sounds like I'm
Saying hi to someone named
Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
One time in high school. ELLEN DEGENERES
Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person. Help someone cross the street today. Help som...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim thr...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yours...
ELLEN DEGENERES
So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless y...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Who's to say what's better or worse anyway? Who's to even say what's normal or average? We're all di...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Our flaws are what makes us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don't ev...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also ha...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for brea...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clappin...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.
ELLEN DEGENERES
It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neigh...
ELLEN DEGENERES
What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is ab...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
ELLEN DEGENERES
When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when...
ELLEN DEGENERES
My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the c...
ELLEN DEGENERES
If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should u...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, So...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is c...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Don't give advice. It will come back and bite you in the [butt]. Don't take anyone's advice. So, my ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhar...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anyb...
ELLEN DEGENERES
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
ELLEN DEGENERES
The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
People give me such a hard time because I don't wear dresses. What's that got to do with any...
ELLEN DEGENERES
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beauti...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity an...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I think everybody should have the same anger towards the injustice that's happening and the hatr...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Whatever you define family as, family is just a part of belonging to something that takes care of yo...
ELLEN DEGENERES
We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours a...
ELLEN DEGENERES
If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.
ELLEN DEGENERES
We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I didn't grow up in a house - we moved a lot, and we always lived in apartments. But we looked a...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called 'Changing the Inner Dia...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's j...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I love kids. But that's such a big commitment. And it seems long-term. It seems like a commitmen...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego. I believe we'r...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'...
ELLEN DEGENERES
My father was a first reader in the Christian Science Church, which is similar to being a preacher. ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
ELLEN DEGENERES
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we d...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I do have ADD and in real life, I'm all over the place and can hardly focus. If we were talking ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tabl...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an i...
ELLEN DEGENERES
When I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought, " When I grow up, I want to...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I thi...
ELLEN DEGENERES
What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. B...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there's morning sickness. If I...
ELLEN DEGENERES
They say you just stand over there, he'll say thank you and you walk back off and that's what I thou...
ELLEN DEGENERES
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was s...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and ha...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we d...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. I...
ELLEN DEGENERES
For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but lo...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if t...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the wo...
ELLEN DEGENERES
People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going.
ELLEN DEGENERES
And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know? Usually the reception is so ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is abo...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had...
ELLEN DEGENERES
its like picking your least favorite color of the rainbow
ELLEN DEGENERES
I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Our egos tells us we're the only ones that have any kind of feelings. We're the only ones with a rel...
ELLEN DEGENERES
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
ELLEN DEGENERES
And be sure to look for me next month when I host the North Korean Peoples Choice Awards.
ELLEN DEGENERES
We've quit our agents, let go of our publicist. We're selling our house and leaving town.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Soap Talk.
ELLEN DEGENERES
There are a million people who are refugees, ... Life goes on, and if it didn't impact you directly,...
ELLEN DEGENERES
[I went to a] coffee shop here and the smallest coffee is a tall... "I need a coffee with a side of ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I didn't want the Web site to be impersonal and I wanted to interact with people, ... The hammer and...
ELLEN DEGENERES
"Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Oh she tripped?....Nooo, she's running. I thought she tripped but she's running. She stopped running...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on...
ELLEN DEGENERES
[Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eigh...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I collect old portraits. They're all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw eve...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I do fantasize about having my own shop one day.
ELLEN DEGENERES
But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's g...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away.
ELLEN DEGENERES
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. The...
ELLEN DEGENERES
If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one...
ELLEN DEGENERES
...if you want to add a little spice to your life, plant some dill. And learn to salsa.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's...
ELLEN DEGENERES
When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistaken...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.'

Ellen: 'No, not unless y...
ELLEN DEGENERES
My aunt has lost everything, she has nothing. She grabbed four pictures out of her house. She's lost...
ELLEN DEGENERES
My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and th...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." ELLEN DEGENERES "I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just lik...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-fe...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Hosting the Oscars is pretty much the scariest thing you can do. To me, this is right up there with ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I would say 'no'! It's such a thankless job. If you do great, nobody mentions it. If you don't, ever...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I think I let go of the need for approval,
ELLEN DEGENERES
I think I let go of the need for approval, ... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used t...
ELLEN DEGENERES
But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get o...
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincid...
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me be...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Don't hold onto things, it will only bring you pain.
ELLEN DEGENERES
That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it.
ELLEN DEGENERES
The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I still get scared at night. Every tiny creak, every little noise, I open my eyes real wide and list...
ELLEN DEGENERES
[• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
We'll go see some theater, and we'll hang out and do some stuff there. We'll go to clubs, ... Ellen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I feel sorry for the newscasters you know? We can turn it off. But that's their job and they have to...
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my g...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises."
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's definitely a heterosexual feeling, but it's directed at you.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from......
ELLEN DEGENERES
Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right be...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got re...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Anne wrote it for me and directed, so I was stuck with it, ... We always got along. It's almost gros...
ELLEN DEGENERES
New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my...
ELLEN DEGENERES
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getti...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses,...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slo...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these d...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the lov...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I say always follow your passion, no matter what, because even if it's not the same financial su...
ELLEN DEGENERES
There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ...
ELLEN DEGENERES