Liberals have invented whole college majors - psychology, sociology and women's studies - to prove that nothing is anybody's fault.

If you want to join the Republican party, they have to let you in. There's nothing they can do about it. I mean, if Republicans will take Al D'Amato, they'll take anybody.

Not much was really invented during the Renaissance, if you don't count modern civilization.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

We Americans, who invented traffic, are always being startled by the forms into which it has evolved around the world.

Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered.