Life is funny like that,

Never too late to change your relationship with somebody in your life.

That's the thing about suicide. Try as you might to remember how a person lived his life, you always end up thinking about how he ended it.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.

So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "break my arms."