Love makes you deluded.

Ordinarily, I am the person who falls in love quickly and somewhat inappropriately and then goes on to destroy what is a good thing. That's always been my style. So, you know: I get it. And I feel right now the way I imagine all those guys felt with me. And I have to say, for the first time in my life, I feel something approaching compassion for them.

The unconditional love for you child, it's truly amazing.

I have a sweet tooth. I love dessert, and if somebody makes me one, I'm going to have it.

For me, the word 'housewife,' because of, like, the 'Real Housewives' - I don't think housewife really means what it used to mean. To me, it's been a little bit overused to the point that it's not as loaded as it might be. I feel like in a perfect world we would say 'American Mom with Kids,' or something like that. 'Mom with Small Children.'

We're not buying Sam's Club condoms,” said Owen. “Their trash bags don't even work.