Friends quote: "Mark Twain."

Mark Twain: A Life
RON POWERS Mark Twain cannot be defined.
HAL HOLBROOK

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you...
MARK TWAIN

I read from Mark Twain's lips one or two of his good stories. He has his own way of thinking, saying...
HELEN KELLER

His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the wh...
MARK TWAIN

I grew up reading Shakespeare and Mark Twain.
JACKSON BROWNE To paraphrase Mark Twain, our demise is greatly exaggerated.
CHRIS DONLAY

Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.
MARK TWAIN

Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.
MARK TWAIN

The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, ...
MARK TWAIN I agree with what Mark Twain said - we're all mad at night.
RUTH RENDELL

Mark Twain is as big as America. He really is.
VAL KILMER

I, Mark Twain being of sound mind, have spent everything
MARK TWAIN

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
MARK TWAIN

A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies whic...
OSSIP GABRILOWITSCH

Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS

Honesty: The best of all the lost arts.
MARK TWAIN

You can find in a text whatever you bring, if you will stand between it and the mirror of you imagin...
MARK TWAIN Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll li...
DICK VAN DYKE

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
KINKY FRIEDMAN

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY [March 25 -] Songs and Stories for Everybody ... the Mark Twain of contemporary kids' music.
BILL HARLEY

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called "Huckleberry Finn."
ERNEST HEMINGWAY Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'l...
DICK VAN DYKE

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN

Mark Twain had a way of telling stories that shifts your consciousness away from labels.
VAL KILMER

Mark Twain put it best when he said, 'Reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated,
BILL BRADLEY

If it wasn't for the Mark Twain Masquers, I don't know where my life would have gone.
PETER FALK

Mark Twain gave us an insight into the life on the Mississippi at the turn of the century.
BOB NEWHART

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]
GERARD WAY If you want to meet Mark Twain, all you have to do is use your brain!
STEVE RAY COLLINS

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain.
MARK TWAIN

He begged hard, and said he couldn't play—a plausible excuse, but too thin; there wasn't a musicia...
MARK TWAIN

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

[Mark...
MARK TWAIN If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you can't learn any other way.--Mark Twain
TONY-PAUL DE VISSAGE I bought a book of Mark Twain quotes. That's about my speed. I'll read a couple quotes and p...
KID ROCK Why should we save them? It's part of the historical legacy of California. They were made famous by ...
MARC HAYES When you find that you are on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." Mark Twain
STEVE J. LEATHERWOOD It is curious-curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so r...
MARK TWAIN Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.
EDGAR WILSON NYE Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeci...
LAURENCE J. PETER Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN WADE Consider well the proportion of things. It is better to be a young June bug, than an old bird of par...
MARK TWAIN Mark Twain created a new type of literature and not a lot of people can say that. Not a lot of peopl...
VAL KILMER Mark Twain said, 'The right word is to the nearly right word as lightning is to the lightning bu...
ROBERT LITTELL The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists ...
MARK TWAIN Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.
MARKUS HERZ Each of you, for himself or herself, by himself or herself, and on his or her own responsibility, mu...
MARK TWAIN Mark Twain and I are in the same position. We have put things in such a way as to make people, who w...
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW I first read 'Tom Sawyer' when I was in 8th grade, 13 years old. I realised since that Mark ...
JEFF NICHOLS Even the ugliest person's cellulite is more attractive than the most beautiful supermodel's lower in...
JENNY LAWSON At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not...
PATRICK MOORE All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. American w...
ERNEST HEMINGWAY He (Holbrook) said he has one of the first Mark Twain costumes he wore on stage and was saving it un...
LEE WARREN The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these:...
MARK TWAIN But that is the way we are made: we don't reason, where we feel; we just feel.
MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN Right from the start, I loved the works of Mark Twain. Every time I read about Tom Sawyer, I'd g...
JOHN GRISHAM Kuna siku mbili tu za muhimu zaidi katika maisha yako kama alivyosema Mark Twain: Siku uliyozaliwa n...
ENOCK MAREGESI I've been enjoying 'Life on the Mississippi' by Mark Twain that I picked up at the airpo...
ROMAN COPPOLA Mark Twain supposedly observed, 'Don't pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel and paper...
THOMAS F. CALCAGNI He had a dream and it shot him.
MARK TWAIN You can't pray a lie--I found that out.
MARK TWAIN Confound it, it's foolish, Tom
MARK TWAIN Training- training is everything; training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature; it is fo...
MARK TWAIN You gwyne to have considerable trouble in yo' life, en considerable joy. Sometimes you gwyne to git ...
MARK TWAIN Those who have heard me speak from time to time know that quite often I cite the observation of that...
J. D. HAYWORTH There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain...
BIBLE You can go into Mark Twain's material and prove anything you want. He was against war. He was fo...
HAL HOLBROOK The best stories in our culture have some sort of subversiveness - Mark Twain, 'Catcher in the R...
MATT GROENING Mark Twain was a great traveler and he wrote three or four great travel books. I wouldn't say th...
PAUL THEROUX There are three types of lies -- lies, damn lies, and statistics.
BENJAMIN DISRAELI Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the one...
H. JACKSON BROWN JR. Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdo...
MARK TWAIN Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the crea...
MARK TWAIN A hypocritical businessman, whose fortune had been the misfortune of many others, told Mark Twain pi...
MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the ...
MARK TWAIN It takes two for a kiss Only one for a sigh, Twain by twain we marry One by one we die.
FREDERIC LAWRENCE KNOWLES I'm really totally convinced, and I can't predict the time frame, but someday these cartoonists, lik...
BRIAN WALKER Madeleine L'Engle's 'A Wrinkle in Time' has been targeted by censors for promoting N...
JUDY BLUME It smells terrible in here.'

Well, what do you expect? The human body, when confined, pro...
JOHN KENNEDY TOOLE Monica: I got a leg, three breasts, and a wing. Chandler: how do you find clothes that fit?
FRIENDS [after settling a fight between Monica and Rachel] Phoebe: Hey, if we were in prison, you guys would...
FRIENDS [Ross is walking down the aisle at Chandler and Monica's wedding] Ross: Wow. This is the first time ...
FRIENDS [after Ross comes in dressed as a SPUDnik]
Chandler: Suddenly I don't have the worst costume an...
FRIENDS It's bizarre, it's like a dream that we haven't woken up from. We tried to go through every possible...
FRIENDS Phoebe : They don't know that we know they know we know.
FRIENDS Joey to Ross:Well, if you can’t talk dirty to me, how you gonna talk dirty to her? Now, tell me yo...
FRIENDS Chandler to Joey:Yes, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look, you are d...
FRIENDS Joey enters wearing an elf costume. Chandler is in agony] Chandler: Too many jokes. Must mock Joey.
FRIENDS Pheobe: "I'm late for...uhhh...my Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Tonight is why he would not e...
FRIENDS She was a promiscuous lady in her younger days.
FRIENDS [Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container possible with it. Chandler enters] Chandl...
FRIENDS Chandler [In response to a stupid comment]: You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance.
FRIENDS [after Ross comes in dressed as a SPUDnik] Chandler: Suddenly I don't have the worst costume anymore...
FRIENDS There's definitely an element of fatal attraction here. I think that's great; that's a compliment,
FRIENDS

Mark Twain.

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Mark Twain.

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