Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

Confess your sins to the Lord, and you will be forgiven; confess them to men, and you will be laughed at

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

You know what? I'm really attracted to British women, there's something innately proper about them. However badly they behave their accent is so cute that it makes up for everything!

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.