Scott Adams quote: "Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account."

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
SCOTT ADAMS

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influe...
SCOTT ADAMS

I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and de...
SCOTT ADAMS

Happiness is nothing but good health and freedom, and money is the single best way you can buy your ...
SCOTT ADAMS

You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don...
SCOTT ADAMS

I get mail; therefore I am.
SCOTT ADAMS

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
SCOTT ADAMS

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of pheno...
SCOTT ADAMS

Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ...
SCOTT ADAMS

The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with...
SCOTT ADAMS

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequ...
SCOTT ADAMS

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
SCOTT ADAMS

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
SCOTT ADAMS

I'm a poor artist. Through brute force, I brought myself up to mediocre. I've never taken a ...
SCOTT ADAMS

Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones....
SCOTT ADAMS

And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing
SCOTT ADAMS

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logi...
SCOTT ADAMS

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logic...
SCOTT ADAMS

You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eatin...
SCOTT ADAMS

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
SCOTT ADAMS

Technology: No Place for Wimps!
SCOTT ADAMS

There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
SCOTT ADAMS

I believe everyody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers...
SCOTT ADAMS

If you
SCOTT ADAMS

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
SCOTT ADAMS

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about t...
SCOTT ADAMS

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company
SCOTT ADAMS

Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your...
SCOTT ADAMS

What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.
SCOTT ADAMS

I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can ...
SCOTT ADAMS

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
SCOTT ADAMS

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
SCOTT ADAMS

Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer'...
SCOTT ADAMS

Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success.
SCOTT ADAMS

The world is like a reverse casino. In a casino, if you gamble long enough, you're certainly goi...
SCOTT ADAMS

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no lo...
SCOTT ADAMS

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
SCOTT ADAMS

The best things in life are silly.
SCOTT ADAMS

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in ...
SCOTT ADAMS

I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist, but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I t...
SCOTT ADAMS

I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The...
SCOTT ADAMS

Rotten bosses don't get better. Any strategy that assumes they can is doomed.
SCOTT ADAMS

We don't always have an accurate view of our own potential. I think most people who are frighten...
SCOTT ADAMS

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their...
SCOTT ADAMS

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high ex...
SCOTT ADAMS

Beware of advice about successful people and their methods. For starters, no two situations are alik...
SCOTT ADAMS

The only risk of failure is promotion.
SCOTT ADAMS

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
SCOTT ADAMS

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
SCOTT ADAMS

If you drill down on any success story, you always discover that luck was a huge part of it. You can...
SCOTT ADAMS

'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major...
SCOTT ADAMS

There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
SCOTT ADAMS

There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, ...
SCOTT ADAMS

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logica...
SCOTT ADAMS

We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other every...
SCOTT ADAMS

Dance like it hurts,
Love like you need money,
Work when people are watching.
SCOTT ADAMS

You havent achieved equality until youre a legitimate target for humor.
SCOTT ADAMS

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he'd rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be...
SCOTT ADAMS

Frankly, Im suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.
SCOTT ADAMS

The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more livi...
SCOTT ADAMS

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Ta...
SCOTT ADAMS

'Wrong' is one of those concepts that depends on witnesses.
SCOTT ADAMS

Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
SCOTT ADAMS

The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
SCOTT ADAMS

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and lik...
SCOTT ADAMS

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
SCOTT ADAMS

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, cha...
SCOTT ADAMS

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there.
SCOTT ADAMS

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smar...
SCOTT ADAMS

If you have trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
SCOTT ADAMS

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge
SCOTT ADAMS

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
SCOTT ADAMS

The best things in life are silly
SCOTT ADAMS

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessi...
SCOTT ADAMS

My failed corporate career became the fodder for the 'Dilbert' comic. Once it became clear I...
SCOTT ADAMS

My brain doesn't register it as drawing. The feeling of friction across the glass is different.
SCOTT ADAMS

One "oh shit" can erase a thousand attaboys
SCOTT ADAMS

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high ex...
SCOTT ADAMS

Idiocy in the modern age isn't an all-encompassing, twenty-four-hour situation for most people. It's...
SCOTT ADAMS

We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
SCOTT ADAMS

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up an...
SCOTT ADAMS

One strategy for getting ahead is being incredibly good at a particular skill; you need to be world-...
SCOTT ADAMS

The most important thing when you study hypnosis is that you learn that humans are irrational. Until...
SCOTT ADAMS

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto
SCOTT ADAMS

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sur...
SCOTT ADAMS

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
SCOTT ADAMS

I've heard stories of (salmon) being caught further offshore than they normally would (be) — on tu...
SCOTT ADAMS

Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally ...
SCOTT ADAMS

You can change only what people know, not what they do.
SCOTT ADAMS

If you become a nuisance ... they're not going to like you.
SCOTT ADAMS

I've heard stories of (salmon) being caught further offshore than they normally would (be) ÃƒÂ¢�...
SCOTT ADAMS

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead
SCOTT ADAMS

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of pheno...
SCOTT ADAMS

Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't b...
SCOTT ADAMS

will take care of itself.
SCOTT ADAMS

Random Acts of Management.
SCOTT ADAMS

I don't think I ever really go more than 30 minutes before I've got two or three things in my mind a...
SCOTT ADAMS

Why aren't you signed up for the 401K? I'd never be able to run that far
SCOTT ADAMS

The longer you work here, diverse it gets
SCOTT ADAMS

Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advanta...
SCOTT ADAMS

Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo.
SCOTT ADAMS

When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
SCOTT ADAMS

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
SCOTT ADAMS

When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.
SCOTT ADAMS

You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people...
SCOTT ADAMS

There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, ...
SCOTT ADAMS

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up an...
SCOTT ADAMS

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination
SCOTT ADAMS

You don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people i...
SCOTT ADAMS

A God who knew the answer to that question would indeed know everything and have everything. For tha...
SCOTT ADAMS

It's just three minutes in the microwave, it's hand held, it works with a busy lifestyle,
SCOTT ADAMS

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Age...
SCOTT ADAMS

It has no real financial impact on me. And I'm not the angry-getting type. If they prorated my subsc...
SCOTT ADAMS

It is a fairly centralized downtown location, central to the proposed condos. It won't necessarily b...
SCOTT ADAMS

In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to...
SCOTT ADAMS

I've literally gotten out of my chair, lain on the floor and fallen sound asleep,
SCOTT ADAMS

I don't even bother walking to the couch, because there's nobody going to come in and see me. When I...
SCOTT ADAMS

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public
SCOTT ADAMS

If your current get-rich project fails, take what you learned and try something else. Keep repeating...
SCOTT ADAMS

Sometimes what seems to be a difference in opinions is in fact just a difference in definitions.
SCOTT ADAMS

Realistically, most people have poor filters for sorting truth from fiction, and there’s no object...
SCOTT ADAMS

If your goal is to lose 10 pounds, you may wake up each day with failure in mind because the goal is...
SCOTT ADAMS

One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there&...
SCOTT ADAMS

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not ...
SCOTT ADAMS

The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find
someone whose flaws are the sort you don...
SCOTT ADAMS

There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of font...
SCOTT ADAMS

No matter how smart you are, you spend most of your day being an idiot.
SCOTT ADAMS

I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.
SCOTT ADAMS

I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and ...
SCOTT ADAMS

There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so...
SCOTT ADAMS

In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out ...
SCOTT ADAMS

There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she&#...
SCOTT ADAMS

The most important form of selfishness involves spending time on your fitness, eating right, pursuin...
SCOTT ADAMS

When it comes to skills, quantity often beats quality.
SCOTT ADAMS

How is sky the limit?...When it can't be touched
SCOTT

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
DOUGLAS ADAMS

I truly believe that my songs bring the answers and the solutions, as opposed to just talking about ...
YOLANDA ADAMS

Of course, my faith has a lot to do with being able to be public without being a public nuisance.
YOLANDA ADAMS

I think more people in the mainstream, folks like Nancy Wilson and Luther Vandross, they have openly...
YOLANDA ADAMS

I'm very respectful in everything I wear. I think about it.
YOLANDA ADAMS

All of my lyrics are based on the one thing that's never failed me, and that's the Word of G...
YOLANDA ADAMS

The only time I really eat out is when I'm on the road. Then, I make the same choices that I wou...
YOLANDA ADAMS

Gospel is just the truth of the word of God. Anybody can sing it, anybody; anybody can perform it.
YOLANDA ADAMS

Those of us who are blessed, we owe it to our fellow citizens and folks who we are around to do some...
YOLANDA ADAMS

I started out in a professional choir at 13 years old. We traveled to different places, and I had a ...
YOLANDA ADAMS

The great thing about Gospel is that you don't have to have an album every year in order to keep...
YOLANDA ADAMS

Luckily, I don't have to be anybody but Yolanda, because people don't expect me to be anythi...
YOLANDA ADAMS

Nobody talks about how Puffy went to Howard University or about Lil Wayne attending the University o...
YOLANDA ADAMS

You don't just become number one because you sing like everybody else. There is something differ...
YOLANDA ADAMS

The more I grow, and the older I get, the more I am enjoying my life and know how precious it really...
YOLANDA ADAMS

Education helps you to be a well-rounded person, period. It teaches you how to take in information a...
YOLANDA ADAMS

I'm very involved with kids because after being a teacher for seven years, I just can't stop...
YOLANDA ADAMS

God is love. He loves everybody. He loves you.
YOLANDA ADAMS

My direction has never really changed, because I don't think that you can really work gimmicks i...
YOLANDA ADAMS

As humans, we have the tendency to call on God only when we think that we're in dire straits as ...
YOLANDA ADAMS

You can live a wonderful life, you can love God with all your heart, and you can love your husband o...
YOLANDA ADAMS

People love gospel music. It's calming. It's soothing. It gets right to the point of whateve...
YOLANDA ADAMS

There is a sound that comes from gospel music that doesn't come from anything else. It is a soun...
YOLANDA ADAMS

Tramaine Hawkins has been a mentor, a confidante and an example of greatness. She has been through a...
YOLANDA ADAMS

I was brought up by great parents and great grandparents who told me, 'Never, ever think that yo...
YOLANDA ADAMS

It behooves every American to encourage home manufactures, that our oppressors may feel through thei...
SAMUEL ADAMS

There is a solid satisfaction in one's having and being conscious that he merits the good opinio...
SAMUEL ADAMS

Power is, in its nature, encroaching; and such is the human make that men who are vested with a shar...
SAMUEL ADAMS

The love of power, like the love of money, increases with the possession of it; and we know in what ...
SAMUEL ADAMS

How strangely will the Tools of a Tyrant pervert the plain Meaning of Words!
SAMUEL ADAMS

The Constitution shall never be construed... to prevent the people of the United States who are peac...
SAMUEL ADAMS

It is not infrequent to hear men declaim loudly upon liberty, who, if we may judge by the whole teno...
SAMUEL ADAMS

We cannot make events. Our business is wisely to improve them.
SAMUEL ADAMS

I do not regret the part I have taken in a cause so just and interesting to mankind.
SAMUEL ADAMS

We think that the world is a solid, vivid place, full of shape and colour and solid objects like thi...
DOUGLAS ADAMS

You could tell that America was gearing up for war.
JACK ADAMS

We made air attacks on the Japanese anchorage, sinking and damaging several vessels. However, the Ja...
JACK ADAMS

We began intercepting Japanese radio transmissions, which indicated the two forces were very close t...
JACK ADAMS

The Japanese invaded Tulagi, in the Solomon Islands, on May 4.
JACK ADAMS

Our task force put to sea in early January 1942, to attack the Japanese in the Marshall and Gilbert ...
JACK ADAMS

My observations of Japanese naval fighting men, their abilities and equipment led me to believe that...
JACK ADAMS

My assignment was in the communications office, where I typed out dispatches.
JACK ADAMS

I was assigned to the heavy cruiser Chicago.
JACK ADAMS

I received my parents' permission and went into the Navy on June 3, 1941.
JACK ADAMS

Everybody knew that I could type pretty well.
JACK ADAMS

Chicago's buoy was a couple of hundred yards astern of Arizona, and I was saddened to look at he...
JACK ADAMS

Lexington did launch its air group when a Japanese carrier was reported.
JACK ADAMS

The good news was that Enterprise and the newly arrived Yorktown had attacked the Marshall and Gilbe...
JACK ADAMS

In basic training we had been told to watch out for Japanese spies.
JACK ADAMS

A chief petty officer taught me shorthand, which got me promoted to yeoman first class.
JACK ADAMS

I passed a typing test and became a member of the staff of Rear Adm. Newton.
JACK ADAMS

On December 5, 1941, Chicago led a task force built around the carrier Lexington to Midway Island, a...
JACK ADAMS

If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one...
JACK ADAMS

After the Battle of Midway there was a week in a rest camp at Pearl Harbor.
JACK ADAMS

It will always be a battle a day between those who want maximum change and those who want to maintai...
GERRY ADAMS

I think I look really weird with short hair. So I figured if I've got a mustache, I think it loo...
STEVEN ADAMS

The federal and state governments should ban the use of taxpayer funds to support cloning and embryo...
SANDY ADAMS

Mankind are governed more by their feelings than by reason.
SAMUEL ADAMS

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and wh...
DOUGLAS ADAMS

The marriage state was designed to complete the sum of human happiness in this life. It sometimes pr...
SAMUEL ADAMS

You've got to know what you want. This is central to acting on your intentions. When you know wh...
PATCH ADAMS

I never took a grant or borrowed a penny from anybody. It was partially because I didn't really ...
BRYAN ADAMS

I've never been enamoured by the idea of being a celebrity.
BRYAN ADAMS

I always just wanted to be the singer or the bass player in the band. I'd love to have a band, w...
BRYAN ADAMS

A songwriter writes songs all the time, whereas just writing a song can be done by anyone, anytime.
BRYAN ADAMS

Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account.

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Scott Adams

Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account.

Scott Adams

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