Mom, camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.

It's just so sad what we're willing to do for the Joey Spinellis of the world, you know?
The mutilating, the tweezing, the enhancing, the plumping, the pinching, the waxing, the starving, the sweating, the bleaching. And for what? So you can wake up next to THAT in thirty years? What are we thinking??

Oh here's a nice one, he brown recluse spider. This once resides in wooded areas. In other words, next to my head while I'm sleeping. ' In a small number of cases, a bite from a brown recluse can produce organ damage with occasional fatalities.' "

"That's the worst-case scenario. how can it be? It's called a 'recluse'"

"It's been my experience that all recluses have a mean streak.

In the end we're all miserable. It's a human condition.

Funny peculiar, or funny ha-ha?

It was kind of like camping near a landfill. Everywhere outside of our base of operations was destroyed and everyone was fending for themselves.