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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.


Groucho Marx

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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
ANONYMOUS Work is that which you dislike doing but perform for the sake of external rewards. At school, this t...
ABRAHAM MASLOW I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they ...
EMILE HENRY GAUVREAU I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they ...
EMILE HENRY GAUVREAU Don't think money does everything or you are going to end up doing everything for money.
VOLTAIRE Winning isn't everything. It's the money you make doing it that's everything.
LEE TREVINO Every person who has become successful has simply formed the habit of doing things that failures dis...
SOURCE UNKNOWN Dislike in yourself what you dislike in others.
HAZRAT ALI IBN ABU-TALIB A.S He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for mon...
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Poverty frees them from ordinary standards of behaviour, just as money frees people from work.
GEORGE ORWELL At first, they'll only dislike what you say, but the more correct you start sounding the more they'l...
CRISS JAMI What it comes down to is it's still fashionable to dislike McDonald's. McDonald's is still growing a...
RON PAUL Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN I already explained this. I don’t like you. True, I don’t like most people, but I especially dis...
G.A. AIKEN How I dislike "Technicolor," which suffuses everything with stale mustard.
EDWARD MARSH I rarely dislike people for things they can't change, they usually give me sufficient cause to disli...
LISA KLEYPAS You're beginning to dislike me, aren't you? Well, dislike me. It doesn't make any difference to me n...
W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM Earning money is not hard work, unless you don't enjoy what you are doing.
LORRIN L. LEE I don't hate anyone. I dislike. But my dislike is the equivalent of anyone else's hate.
ELSA MAXWELL If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you'll spend your life completely was...
ALAN W. WATTS What's worth doing is worth doing for money
JOSEPH DONOHUE Whenever you borrow money from the bank,never think the bank is doing you a favor,but rather you are...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing.
MICHAEL PHILLIPS Well,” Tessa said, sighting along the line of the knife, “you behave as if you dislike me. In fa...
CASSANDRA CLARE If you suspected somebody else was doing that trick to you, these things would come in very handy fo...
JOHN PIKE If all you're doing is making money, you have a luxurious but empty life.
AMANDA DONOHOE If you ask a smuggler why are they doing this, they are doing it to make money. If you take the mone...
ADELE FASANO You can make a lot of money doing the right thing
SOTONYE ANGA Find ways of making money from doing what you love otherwise your bills will grow into a mountain
SOTONYE ANGA It reminded people of everything they dislike about this government.
BRIAN TOPP I don't hate anyone. I dislike. But my dislike is the equivalent of anyone else's hate.
ELSA MAXWELL The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
WILL ROGERS Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.
ROBERT BYRNE I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?
JEAN COCTEAU Please, Kate. Suspend your dislike of me for a few moments and listen to what I have to say. It make...
ILONA ANDREWS You can make a lot of money by doing tobacco tax evasion.
DONNA MADDUX If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing for money
DAVID GERROLD The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX To like and dislike the same things, that is indeed true friendship.
SALLUST To like and dislike the same things, that is indeed true friendship
SALLUST It's a sin to hate, and for that reason alone, we must not hate the Normans... We can, however, thor...
JULIE GARWOOD Why when people dislike you they corrupt others minds to not trust you? "Quote for today: " If your ...
EDWARD KELLY II I can't dislike you, but I will say this to you: you haven't got long before you are all going to ki...
CHARLES MANSON I want to do bad things to him. I don't know him, I don't like him or dislike him, but I very much w...
JOE DOERKSEN I think the governors right now are learning a tough lesson...I think you realize quickly that it's ...
LINDA LINGLE Just as you won’t enjoy the fruits of the tree you dislike, so you won’t even wait to learn from...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR I really dislike elves.
RHIANNA PRATCHETT What is it you most dislike? Stupidity, especially in its nastiest forms of racism and supers...
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS Nothing is a calling card. Everything is what you do. If you do it in order to get somewhere else, y...
JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL Spirituality does two things for you. One, you are forced to become more selfless, two, you trust to...
IMRAN KHAN What you dislike in another take care to correct in yourself.
THOMAS SPRAT To set up what you like against what you dislike, this is the disease of the mind.
SENGCAN The sad dislike those who are cheerful, and the cheerful dislike the melancholy.
UNKNOWN Starting out to make money is the greatest mistake in life. Do what you feel you have a flair for do...
GREER GARSON Above all, I dislike vulgarity.
DIANE KRUGER To like and dislike the same things, this is what makes a solid friendship.
SALLUST You can't spend money you don't have, and yet that's exactly what we're doing repeatedly this aftern...
ASSEMBLYMAN MERKT You can't spend money you don't have, and yet that's exactly what we're doing repeatedly this aftern...
ASSEMBLYMAN RICHARD MERKT I seem to have been able to make a career out of doing what I feel like doing, so why not keep doing...
JANE CAMPION In America, people are just so straightforward when they dislike things.
FRANCES MAYES You are much surer that you are doing good when you pay money to those who work, as the recompense o...
SAMUEL JOHNSON I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE If you have a grub problem, doing anything now to fight them is just a waste of money.
CHRIS DODSON Money you know you need or want to spend in the next few years is savings. Money you keep handy for ...
SUZE ORMAN I told them what I was doing. With the kind of money that we make, you should be ashamed if you don'...
FERNANDO BRYANT I played baseball because I could make more money doing that than I could doing anything else.
BILL TERRY Listen carefully to yourself. Listen to what you dislike, and you will find most of the imagery is w...
JOHN O'DONOHUE I dislike the V.A.T. hike tremendously.
HOLGER SCHMIEDING The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Hate is more lasting than dislike
ADOLF HITLER If you neglect your work, you will dislike it; if you do it well, you will enjoy it
SIR PHILIP SIDNEY But it's a blessing to be so successful within a year; it's the greatest feeling in the world, makin...
LUDACRIS I dislike the word 'victim.' I dislike being told that I 'lost' my husband - as if I...
NINA BAWDEN The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN I have always heard an old wives' tale that whatever you are doing on New Year's Day is what you wil...
DANIELLE PATTERSON Money isn't everything. Do you get married because of money? Do you have kids because of money?
WALTER PAYTON People who are greedy and corrupt with money or the thought of money are only doing damage to each o...
GARY F EVANS... I believe all people are assholes. You won't find anyone that you like. You'll just find someone you...
TRAVIS J. DAHNKE When you go to Washington, you get no satisfaction. You come back and you put in an amount of money ...
DON PERATA They are doing very well, making good money, more money than the rooms.
GIOVANNI ANGELINI When you hire someone to do tasks that you dislike, that employee really has you over a barrel,
MARK GOULSTON Money is not everything.
BEN OAK But what you realise after you've been in the business for a while is that people develop opinio...
ADAM DURITZ When you are writing a song for something else, if you are doing something for money, I always think...
CHAD KROEGER It's good to have MONEY and the things that money can buy, as long as you make sure you don't lose t...
THE INSPIRATIONIST Hatred is active, and envy passive dislike; there is but one step from envy to hate.
JOHANN VON GOETHE Hatred is active, and envy passive dislike; there is but one step from envy to hate.
JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE It is the sign of a great mind to dislike greatness, and prefer things in measure to things in exces...
SENECA (SENECA THE ELDER) It is the sign of a great mind to dislike greatness, and prefer things in measure to things in exces...
SENECA When we dislike someone, or feel threatened by someone, the natural tendency is to focus on somethin...
JAMES REDFIELD Ana Magdalena nods. For an instant the blue eyes fix on his. 'She sees straight through me', he thin...
J.M. COETZEE Dislike is much easier to handle than sympathy.
AMIE KAUFMAN I mean, really: what kind of person could possibly dislike me?
JEFF LINDSAY I have always disliked shrouding…especially feelings and emotions. I discovered quite later in lif...
BALROOP SINGH You don't make money from peace.
You make money from wars!
ANTHONY T. HINCKS I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wa...
J. R. R. TOLKIEN I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wa...
J.R.R. TOLKIEN

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX