Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.
Ellen DeGeneres
Related Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, tha... NORM MACDONALD I find that it's nice to work with somebody and spin off on someone else's feelings. You get... HERB ALPERT Art is interesting because there can be so many different perspectives in a piece of art. The way I ... JOAKIM NOAH With drama, you know if you're having a true moment, but in comedy, if somebody doesn't laug... BROOKE NEVIN I love making music, but if you make something that inspires somebody else to make something, withou... HOZIER People is, I think, it's their nature - some people's nature, in a way, to be angry or jealo... JILL SCOTT I like somebody who's not so crazy but likes to have a good time... and who is thoughtful and ki... KATE BOSWORTH I don't care if it's somebody else's song. Most of the time, you'll find that I'... TAJ MAHAL I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn o... JENNY ECLAIR I don't want to be in somebody else's movie, and then they make all the money. I've gott... EAZY-E Putting somebody else's pants on and pretending to be somebody else is occasionally, as you grow... JAMES GANDOLFINI Kevin Hart. He's the man! I like his style. He's short, so I can relate. All the stories he ... CAMERON BOYCE I always leave that for other people to decide, because some of the things I consider to be disaster... CHRISTIAN BALE I loved to make people laugh in high school, and then I found I loved being on stage in front of peo... STEVE MARTIN The only thing that I don't like is my kids watching comedy that isn't actually funny. There... STEPHEN COLBERT The thing with food is that you can give 20 people the same recipe and the same ingredients, and som... DWEEZIL ZAPPA I do love comedy, and when it's a comedy moment and you can make people laugh, of course it is w... MAGGIE SMITH The first purpose of comedy is to make people laugh. Anything deeper is a bonus. Some comedians want... TREVOR NOAH I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'... JIMMY FALLON The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I ju... BILL BURR Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a ban... SHAH RUKH KHAN I'd done a ton of movies here in Hollywood, and I realized that every movie I'd done was som... HARLAND WILLIAMS It's funny, the hardest thing to do is to make something look like it's fast, loose and impr... ABEL FERRARA When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We ... MITCHELL HURWITZ People expect us to be different, but we're not. We're very similar people, and it's bec... ADRIAN EDMONDSON An actor is somebody who communicates someone else's words and emotions to an audience. It's... MAGGIE SMITH It's hard being a hostage in somebody else's mouth - or a character in somebody else's n... DAVID ANTIN I love a good laugh as well, I think that's so important in life, which is probably why I've... PAUL KANE I always laugh the hardest at the stuff you see in day-to-day life. It's great when somebody can... LUKE WILSON You see somebody on a football field make a great, athletic 70-yard run, but the athleticism is imme... ASHTON EATON I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the pur... ALBERT BROOKS I don't want to play earnest. I'd rather play somebody who's kind of sleazy. It's mu... JACK COLEMAN I'm kind of a laugh junkie. It's what I appreciate in life, because life is rich and sometim... MARY STEENBURGEN Some of my fans don't really like it when I respond to people who say things that are trying to ... RICKIE FOWLER Stand-up and sketch and improv - that's the most direct contact you can have with somebody, maki... T. J. MILLER Being able to laugh at a situation can help you hang on to your perspective. And there's an inti... ERIC MABIUS As authors, most - most authors, our art is portraying the human condition. Trying to show you what ... PATRICK ROTHFUSS And then as I got older, see, I think a lot of times with comics, your life kind of permeates your a... BILLY GARDELL I love somebody who can make me laugh and be a goofball. I think it's incredibly sexy if a guy c... JESSICA BIEL I can't tell if I want to be a rapper who's funny because I kind of enjoy just doing really ... AWKWAFINA Over the years, I think, people - actors, writers, whatever - lose their frame of reference. Their f... MICHAEL KEATON I want to be part of Major League Baseball's Hall of Fame, but I don't want to be part of th... BARRY BONDS If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that's bigger than anything e... BERNIE MAC I have my own biography of Gram Parsons - I don't want to be part of somebody else's. EMMYLOU HARRIS I'm definitely one of those chicks who want to be in a relationship. I need somebody who can mak... ALY MICHALKA My life choices are not supposed to be the gateway to somebody else's. That's my journey. DREW BARRYMORE Look, I want to be able to make the stupidest movies ever, because they make people laugh and they m... MARLON WAYANS If I'm going to go out to be a solo artist, it's because I want to do something different wi... CHRIS CORNELL It's real easy in a lot of businesses for your head to swell up, and you become somebody else. S... BRANTLEY GILBERT I think - you know, I want to intimidate people when I'm on the field. I want people to be scare... CARLI LLOYD I have such an ego 'cause I'm a double Leo. I can't let go of me, you know, so it's ... PAUL MOONEY I think there's nothing better than laughing in life, so that's nice, to be thought of as so... JOAN CUSACK The thing to do, it seems to me, is to prepare yourself so you can be a rainbow in somebody else'... MAYA ANGELOU I like to do comedy. It's my real passion. I want to make people laugh. GAD ELMALEH I love making people laugh and feel good, and that's awesome and special for me to be able to do... DWAYNE JOHNSON I laugh a lot in horror films. If I'm scared in a horror film, I try to think about what's s... JASON REITMAN I see it every day: People trying to create a home that somebody else tells them they should have. I... NATE BERKUS In general, in any kind of stepparent relationship, I'm happy that there's somebody else lov... ELIN NORDEGREN I think comedy is a good way to help people change their minds. I think that if you're laughing ... MAZ JOBRANI I'm definitely more at ease with comedy - that's where I started out - and so it's my fi... OMAR SY I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of peopl... DAVE CHAPPELLE I really like 'Shameless' because it brings up important issues, but we get to talk and laug... JUSTIN CHATWIN I'm all in favor of people - myself included - going into the same territory if there's some... MICHAEL LEHMANN People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it'... NICK CAVE The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers... JERRY SEINFELD I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix. DEYTH BANGER Something that's good in the mini-culture of 'Happy Endings' is that the goal is to try ... CASEY WILSON If you have a character that doesn't have anything wrong with him, there's nothing funny abo... WILL ARNETT It's kind of like a challenge to myself to be able to hear somebody else's hook and kind of ... EMINEM It's a very brave thing to fall in love. You have to be willing to trust somebody else with your... NICOLE KIDMAN I don't even know where to start in terms of people having such an issue about color, especially... ALEK WEK Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewh... SAM KINISON Life is too short to be living somebody else's dream. HUGH HEFNER I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're al... ZACH GALIFIANAKIS Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. WILL ROGERS I think we simply all like to project ourselves into somebody else - somebody who is better-looking,... RICHARD D. ZANUCK It's strange: I've done so many things up until I did 'Obvious Child,' including wri... JENNY SLATE On the road we're somebody else's guests - and we play in a way that they're not going t... KNUTE ROCKNE I'd rather get a good clean laugh with good material, than an easy laugh by swearing or shocking... JIM DALE If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them an... BILL COSBY When you're a woman, you have to work harder to get a laugh... I follow so many hilarious women ... RAINBOW ROWELL I'm not trying to get myself up a notch on the ladder by shoving somebody else down on the ladde... GEORGE H. W. BUSH Comedy is so subjective. You could be in a room with 400 people laughing at a joke and you could jus... TODD PHILLIPS The fantasy that appeals most to people is the kind that's rooted thoroughly in somebody looking... TAMORA PIERCE What's funny is funny. The same thing that made you laugh a hundred years ago makes you laugh no... CHEVY CHASE I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people la... ROSEANNE BARR It's funny: most people who recognize me on the subway and stuff - it's much more they think... PAUL GIAMATTI It's great fun if you get a good piece of writing and you can pretend to be someone else, tell a... COLIN HAY I'm doing my best to be mindful about how I'm living: to be kind and patient, and not to imp... DEIRDRE O'KANE When I'm writing, I need to amplify my thoughts and feelings on just a conversation that I might... JAMES BAY I don't want to use my creative energy on somebody else's user interface. JEFF BEZOS On the field, you have to be aggressive; you're thinking how to get the better of a situation. I... YUVRAJ SINGH There's something in the moment when you can make them laugh or cry and show and incredibly comp... GEDDE WATANABE It's so great to love somebody and, out of that, to make a child. So that's my goal. NASTASSJA KINSKI Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and ... DAVID BYRNE There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you... JEFF GARLIN An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. WILL ROGERS I don't want to go slumming in somebody else's pain just to write a book. I want to go into ... PATRICIA MCCORMICK Hate is self-destructive. If you hate somebody, you're not hurting the person you hate. You'... LOUIS ZAMPERINI I never breathe through the nose, not when I'm singing. In the opera, you don't have so much... BEVERLY SILLS
More Ellen DeGeneres
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That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy... ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but lo... ELLEN DEGENERES Life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if t... ELLEN DEGENERES Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most. ELLEN DEGENERES Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the wo... ELLEN DEGENERES People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going. ELLEN DEGENERES And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know? Usually the reception is so ... ELLEN DEGENERES "I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. ... ELLEN DEGENERES I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is abo... 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"I need a coffee with a side of ... ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't want the Web site to be impersonal and I wanted to interact with people, ... The hammer and... ELLEN DEGENERES "Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would ... ELLEN DEGENERES Oh she tripped?....Nooo, she's running. I thought she tripped but she's running. She stopped running... ELLEN DEGENERES Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on... ELLEN DEGENERES [Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eigh... ELLEN DEGENERES I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like... ELLEN DEGENERES I collect old portraits. They're all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of w... ELLEN DEGENERES Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw eve... ELLEN DEGENERES I do fantasize about having my own shop one day. ELLEN DEGENERES But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's g... ELLEN DEGENERES Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away. ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. The... ELLEN DEGENERES If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one... ELLEN DEGENERES ...if you want to add a little spice to your life, plant some dill. And learn to salsa. ELLEN DEGENERES I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian. ELLEN DEGENERES I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's... ELLEN DEGENERES When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistaken... ELLEN DEGENERES Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless y... ELLEN DEGENERES My aunt has lost everything, she has nothing. She grabbed four pictures out of her house. She's lost... ELLEN DEGENERES My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and th... ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastinate now, don't put it off. ELLEN DEGENERES "I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." ELLEN DEGENERES "I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just lik... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-fe... ELLEN DEGENERES Hosting the Oscars is pretty much the scariest thing you can do. To me, this is right up there with ... ELLEN DEGENERES I would say 'no'! It's such a thankless job. If you do great, nobody mentions it. If you don't, ever... ELLEN DEGENERES I think I let go of the need for approval, ELLEN DEGENERES I think I let go of the need for approval, ... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used t... ELLEN DEGENERES But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get o... ELLEN DEGENERES "I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, ... ELLEN DEGENERES The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincid... ELLEN DEGENERES "I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all ... ELLEN DEGENERES Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called ... ELLEN DEGENERES You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me be... ELLEN DEGENERES The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and... ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had... ELLEN DEGENERES Don't hold onto things, it will only bring you pain. ELLEN DEGENERES That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it. ELLEN DEGENERES The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head. ELLEN DEGENERES I still get scared at night. Every tiny creak, every little noise, I open my eyes real wide and list... ELLEN DEGENERES [• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that ... ELLEN DEGENERES We'll go see some theater, and we'll hang out and do some stuff there. We'll go to clubs, ... Ellen ... ELLEN DEGENERES I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''... ELLEN DEGENERES I feel sorry for the newscasters you know? We can turn it off. But that's their job and they have to... ELLEN DEGENERES "I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my g... ELLEN DEGENERES Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not... ELLEN DEGENERES You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress. ELLEN DEGENERES "I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, ... ELLEN DEGENERES Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that... ELLEN DEGENERES Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I... ELLEN DEGENERES It's definitely a heterosexual feeling, but it's directed at you. ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old w... ELLEN DEGENERES I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from...... ELLEN DEGENERES Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up ... ELLEN DEGENERES The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right be... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave ... ELLEN DEGENERES It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school. ELLEN DEGENERES I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got re... ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year... ELLEN DEGENERES Anne wrote it for me and directed, so I was stuck with it, ... We always got along. It's almost gros... ELLEN DEGENERES New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected. ELLEN DEGENERES I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my... ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There w... ELLEN DEGENERES I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new ... ELLEN DEGENERES I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day. ELLEN DEGENERES I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getti... ELLEN DEGENERES The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime... ELLEN DEGENERES Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses,... ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slo... ELLEN DEGENERES Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen ... ELLEN DEGENERES Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these d... ELLEN DEGENERES You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She... ELLEN DEGENERES I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c... ELLEN DEGENERES I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the lov... ELLEN DEGENERES I say always follow your passion, no matter what, because even if it's not the same financial su... ELLEN DEGENERES There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ... ELLEN DEGENERES