Most people who have grown up introverted in this very extroverted culture of ours have had painful experiences of feeling like they are out of step with what's expected of them. Parenting can pose unique challenges for introverted parents, who fear that their own painful experiences will be repeated in their children's lives.
Susan Cain
Related Everyone has their own different life experiences which make them who they are. No two people's ... KESHIA KNIGHT PULLIAM People will react to you as a result of their own mindset, rather than as a reflection of your worth... VIRONIKA TUGALEVA I'm a very introverted person. Nothing that's happened has changed that, but one of the reas... JOHN GREEN I don't play Hollywood maids, the hee-hee kind of people who are so in love with their madam'... ESTHER ROLLE I was very inspired by Les Blank's film 'Burden of Dreams.' I think what's unique ab... GEORGE HICKENLOOPER You don't really know who you're going to fall in love with at what time in their life. They... KIRSTEN DUNST It's coaches. It's people that are involved in kids' lives at every level, and it's ... DONNA SHALALA By nature, my default place is a very introverted one, so it's funny to be in such an extroverte... ELIZABETH MARVEL I wasn't an extroverted kid. I was very academic and very introverted. REBEL WILSON People who are feeling bullied and people who feel like outsiders should talk to their parents and g... NICK JONAS Adults who were hurt as children inevitably exhibit a peculiar strength, a profound inner wisdom, an... WAYNE MULLER I'm aware of what kids like because I'm constantly in touch with them. Also, they say that a... ERIC WILSON Children used to get bullied at school. Now they go home, and that's where the problem starts - ... JESSIE J My mother is an actress, and my aunt Margaux was a model. And it's funny, as much as I'm all... DREE HEMINGWAY I live in southern Appalachia, so I'm surrounded by people who work very hard for barely a livin... BARBARA KINGSOLVER An artist or a creative person of any kind goes about their work because it's their path, it'... WAYNE DYER I think we all wish we could erase some dark times in our lives. But all of life's experiences, ... LUIS MIGUEL Painful experiences are like scars in our minds. Some have healed and been forgotten. Others are the... JAMES A. MURPHY People who, as children, were intellectually far beyond their parents and therefore admired by them,... ALICE MILLER These children can go out and have children of their own, but they don't have a good basis for paren... DAWN DELUCA I think to try to understand human behavior and why people do what they do, and what in their lives ... HALEY BENNETT Neglect is a major reason for some of the most painful experiences we suffer in life. SUNDAY ADELAJA Millions of Mexicans leave their kids in order to take care of other kids. That's a very painful... ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ INARRITU We can't have - we can't have a patchwork of 50 states developing their own immigration poli... DAVID AXELROD I've been lucky enough - well, maybe unlucky enough - to have had a lot of friends who have had ... CHRIS EVANS Often you hear stories about never working with children. I disagree because children still have tha... NICOLAS CAGE We come from fallible parents who were kids once, who decided to have kids and who had to learn how ... CHRIS PINE If a major source of the nation's news is personalizing user experiences, people with different ... CASS SUNSTEIN It's important for a parent to learn to take delight in a child whose behavior might seem mystif... SUSAN CAIN Certainly we want to protect our children from new and painful experiences that are beyond their emo... MAURICE SENDAK A face is a road map of someone's life. Without any need to amplify that or draw attention to it... CHUCK CLOSE The most beautiful and painful experiences can only be felt,they cannot be expressed or explained. ANUPAMA GARG People who grow up in a region doubtless have a better cultural awareness of their own cuisine, but ... NATHAN MYHRVOLD Psychopaths are actually, really, really, really rare in our culture, are people who don't... Or... ANNIE PARISSE A spiritual partnership is between people who promise themselves to use all of their experiences to ... GARY ZUKAV Places are part of nature, of the bigger picture. We are interrelated. When we contemplate them in t... ETEL ADNAN I tell them they are amazing people with great experiences and a great culture that will be apprecia... JULIETA SMITH A lot of the time with child actors, you get the feeling they're trying to have a kind of poise ... ALESSANDRO NIVOLA A lot of my stories about the old days, they're delicious and funny. But every time I recall the... MARIO CUOMO Judges who take the law into their own hands, who make up constitutional 'rights' in order t... ORRIN HATCH Some of my best friends here in New York have pasts I have a hard time reconciling with the people I... DEREK BLASBERG God will make right all that is wrong, He will take away the lingering effect of sin and what's ... JOSHUA HARRIS I'm aware of what kids like because I'm constantly in touch with them. Also, they say that a lot of ... ERIC WILSON My own foundation concentrates on women's economic empowerment on the basis that if women have t... CHERIE BLAIR I really like people who have the gift of the gab. I like characters that are very eloquent, articul... CHRIS EVANS In the 1950s and 1960s, many parents were generally standoffish with their male children and acted a... EZEKIEL EMANUEL It is painful to watch children trying to show off for parents who are engrossed in their cell phone... SHERRY TURKLE A lot of people resent that I've been in someone's life for 50 years. Why shouldn't peop... JERRY LEWIS A lot of people in our industry haven't had very diverse experiences. So they don't have eno... STEVE JOBS You want to be burning calories after you work out. The problem becomes for most people - it's n... BRETT HOEBEL The biggest mistake parents make is thinking they're done parenting when adolescence kicks in. They ... BARBARA BROWNELL Parents seem to want to provide things, especially experiences, for their kids that maybe they didn'... KURT KUTAY I have known plenty of people who, in their later years, had the energy of children and the kind of ... JOHNNY DEPP There are a lot of children in our country that, because of their neighborhood or socio-economic sta... JARED POLIS So when these people sell out, even though they get fabulously rich, they're gypping themselves ... STEVE JOBS I think there's something in people where they often want to describe their personal experiences... JAMIE JOHNSON People are needed to take up the challenge, strong people, who proclaim the truth, throw it in peopl... ABBE PIERRE I think there's something in people where they often want to describe their personal experiences... JAMIE JOHNSON Life’s best lessons are learned during the most painful experiences. KEMI SOGUNLE I think I've had pretty good experiences for the most part with the people who have directed my ... CHARLIE KAUFMAN Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly ad... ERMA BOMBECK Most people don't grow up. It's too damn difficult. What happens is most people get older. T... MAYA ANGELOU In my experience, there are plenty of bad middle-class parents: those who put their own lives and ca... MARTIN JACQUES People are like that .... They need to make their own worst experiences universal. It gives them a k... JOHN IRVING I think musicals can be more than what people imagine. That'll be the case with 'Matilda.... BERTIE CARVEL I was introverted, shy. But if you win a lot you need to be extroverted, or they'll think you... ALBERTO TOMBA It is one of my pet hates when I see players who have agents who do everything for them. They don... GARY NEVILLE Terrorists are people, too - they are given to error. Naipaul and then DeLillo do a good job in thei... KARAN MAHAJAN In Chinese culture, it wouldn't occur to kids to question or talk back to their parents. In Amer... AMY CHUA There's just a certain fear that people have when they put meat coming out of a printer in their... HOMARO CANTU I think that's most unfortunate about our Democratic system, that you're confining it to peo... BIRCH BAYH The tough thing about radio is I've met a lot of people in it who like my music. But it's ha... CHRIS ISAAK People like hearing songs that sound like something they've heard before, that's reminiscent... BONNIE MCKEE Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of p... ANDY ROONEY The brain waves of ordinary people during insight experiences are unique. Their brains are in specia... LAURIE NADEL To the children of yesterday, who have grown up and become parents, and to the children of today, wh... FRANCESCO TOTTI We'll be able to give the gift of mobility, especially to children who would otherwise have spent th... ERIC CHAMBERS There is definitely an international fascination with American pop culture, and most especially with... BRIAN FREELAND I think America's food culture is embedded in fast-food culture. And the real question that we h... ALICE WATERS People that have had genuine abduction experiences that I've met that seem very genuine to me, b... DAVE DAVIES I have this blanket thing about giving parenting advice to parents, and that's: 'Don't t... DREW LACHEY There are people who can start having very powerful experiences without taking psychedelics. It can ... STANISLAV GROF In 'Growing Stronger,' I expose my most painful moments and open my heart, thoughts and pers... THALIA I let people fill in the blanks on their own. If they want to think about their ex, that's fine.... TAYLOR SWIFT I've thought for years, sometimes against my will, about what kind of son I'm supposed to be... JOHN CHO It's almost like a lot of black people in America, a lot of young black men, are born with this ... ERYKAH BADU A lot of children grow up in poverty with flawed parents, but their inner world is still as inherent... HEATHER O'NEILL Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes CHINESE PROVERBS Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes. CHINESE PROVERB «…you’re too old not to have had, how shall I say, certain experiences. You’ve had bad intern... DOUGLAS COUPLAND I'm inspired by anyone who's honest in their own expression, people who truly beat to the rh... GILLIAN ZINSER If you look at 'Doctor Who,' it's a Time Lord in a blue box who travels around the unive... MARGARET STOHL And those of us who have business opportunities and the capital to do it are going to sit in fear of... STEVE WYNN The embarrassment of a situation can, once you are over it, be the funniest time in your life. And I... MIRANDA HART There's a lot of focus on kids like Macaulay Culkin or others who had bad situations at some poi... TIA MOWRY And I like the way Cain writes his women. Very strong. They're kind of lusty, they know what the... PIA ZADORA The majority of people think their children's lives will not be as good as theirs. Nearly half o... KATHLEEN TROIA MCFARLAND Asian people have a unique way about them and a different sense of beauty. It's exotic to me. I ... PAZ VEGA Is not that a great principle for all of living? The people who will really accomplish great things ... BOB RICHARDS Is not that a great principle for all of living? The people who will
really accomplish great things ... BOB RICHARDS
More Susan Cain
Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but ... SUSAN CAIN We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally. SUSAN CAIN Shyness is about the fear of social judgments - at a job interview or a party you might be excessive... SUSAN CAIN Extroverts are more likely to take a quick-and-dirty approach to problem-solving, trading accuracy f... SUSAN CAIN Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to. Stay home on New Ye... SUSAN CAIN A Manifesto for Introverts 1. There's a word for 'people who are in their heads too much'... SUSAN CAIN Now that you're an adult, you might still feel a pang of guilt when you decline a dinner invitation ... SUSAN CAIN You can't pick up a business magazine ever without seeing the word 'collaborate' splashe... SUSAN CAIN A widely held, but rarely articulated, belief in our society is that the ideal self is bold, alpha, ... SUSAN CAIN To some extent, we've always had an admiration for extroversion in our culture. But the extrover... SUSAN CAIN Many people believe that introversion is about being antisocial, and that's really a mispercepti... SUSAN CAIN It's important for a parent to learn to take delight in a child whose behavior might seem mystif... SUSAN CAIN In a way, education by its nature favours the extrovert because you are taking kids and putting them... SUSAN CAIN ...I also believe that introversion is my greatest strength. I have such a strong inner life that I�... SUSAN CAIN Figure out what you are meant to contribute to the world and make sure you contribute it. If this re... SUSAN CAIN Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe SUSAN CAIN We often marvel at how introverted, geeky, kid 'blossom' into secure and happy adults. We liken it t... SUSAN CAIN But when the group is literally capable of changing our perceptions, and when to stand alone is to a... SUSAN CAIN you once said to would like to sit beside me while I write. Listen in that case I could not write at... SUSAN CAIN Naked lions are just as dangerous as elegantly dressed ones SUSAN CAIN Evangelicalism has taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical extreme, McHugh is telling us. If you do... SUSAN CAIN If you don't love Jesus out loud, then it must not be real love. It's not enough to forge your own s... SUSAN CAIN When you go to a football game and someone offers you a beer [...], they're really saying hi, have a... SUSAN CAIN Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to. Stay home on New Ye... SUSAN CAIN The highly sensitive [introverted] tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rathe... SUSAN CAIN There are only a few people out there who can completely overcome their fears, and they all live in ... SUSAN CAIN Introverts may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while ... SUSAN CAIN We need to do teacher training to educate them about what temperament means. Shyness is painful and ... SUSAN CAIN In our society, the ideal self is bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight. We like to thi... SUSAN CAIN I think the shyness one feels in childhood is often overcome with time. There are children who hide ... SUSAN CAIN Even when the attention focused on me is positive, I am uncomfortable being looked at by a lot of pe... SUSAN CAIN Ask your child for information in a gentle, nonjudgmental way, with specific, clear questions. Inste... SUSAN CAIN The same person who would never raise his hand in a lecture hall of two hundred people might blog to... SUSAN CAIN Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured...Spend your free the way you like, ... SUSAN CAIN Love is essential, gregariousness is optional. SUSAN CAIN Evangelicalism has taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical extreme...If you don't love Jesus out lo... SUSAN CAIN Consider that the simplest social interactions between two people requires performing an astonishing... SUSAN CAIN Introverts living under the Extroversion Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because... SUSAN CAIN Purification and redemption are such recurrent themes in ritual because there is a clear and ubiquit... SUSAN CAIN Opposites attract, and I think temperament is so fundamental that you end up craving someone of the ... SUSAN CAIN Some introverts are perfectly comfortable with public speaking; I'm not one of them. SUSAN CAIN Shyness is inherently uncomfortable; introversion is not. The traits do overlap, though psychologist... SUSAN CAIN It's not that there is no small talk...It's that it comes not at the beginning of conversations but ... SUSAN CAIN Or at school you might have been prodded to come “out of your shell”—that noxious expression w... SUSAN CAIN What's interesting is relative levels of introversion tend to stay the same. If you went back to... SUSAN CAIN Men are more likely to be introverted than women are, but it's really very slight. But the real ... SUSAN CAIN Any time people come together in a meeting, we're not necessarily getting the best ideas; we'... SUSAN CAIN I prefer listening to talking, reading to socializing, and cozy chats to group settings. SUSAN CAIN All personality traits have their good side and their bad side. But for a long time, we've seen ... SUSAN CAIN One noteworthy study suggests that people who suppress negative emotions tend to leak those emotions... SUSAN CAIN Introversion- along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness- is now a second-class pe... SUSAN CAIN The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it's a Broadway spotlight; fo... SUSAN CAIN Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to. SUSAN CAIN Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured. SUSAN CAIN We know from myths and fairy tales that there are many different kinds of powers in this world. One ... SUSAN CAIN Because conflict-avoidant Emily would never “bite” or even hiss unless Greg had done something t... SUSAN CAIN Scores of studies have shown that venting doesn't soothe anger; it fuels it. SUSAN CAIN Love is essential; gregariousness is optional. Cherish your nearest and dearest. Work with colleague... SUSAN CAIN I started at Pillsbury as a manager in one of their analysis functions, then worked my way up the co... HERMAN CAIN There's something about the Pacific Northwest, the scale of it, and the fact that not so long ag... CHELSEA CAIN African-Americans have been brainwashed into not being open-minded, not even considering a conservat... HERMAN CAIN Hollywood's a very weird place. I think there's less of everything except for attitude. DEAN CAIN Nobody motivates today's workers. If it doesn't come from within, it doesn't come. Fun helps remove ... 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HERMAN CAIN Polls are inaccurate in my opinion, based upon anecdotal evidence, based upon people that I know. HERMAN CAIN When they write about real stuff like my custody battle, that's no fun. Some things have leaked ... DEAN CAIN It all portends a very rocky start to 2006 for the administration because the concerns are increasin... BRUCE CAIN This puts Schwarzenegger on the hot seat. I think it's a slam-dunk that he's going to have to veto t... BRUCE CAIN I don't think he has any other choice, ... He can't afford to divide Republican support and count on... BRUCE CAIN You're there to do a job and to represent your constituents. If you're not making decisions it seems... BRUCE CAIN The last six weeks have gone to Bush. He's been able to move himself to the middle --and get himself... BRUCE CAIN I don't think of him as a member of the social right. He's ... a more secular, business-oriented Cha... 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BURL CAIN We wish the sheriff would come on back. BURL CAIN Our whole key has been free-throw shooting. A lot of people don't know how big that is, but it's hug... CAIN JAGODZINSKI We know that's going to happen. We knew going in it was going to be tight. CAIN JAGODZINSKI It?s been hard to motivate these guys after last season. After being the top, they had to realize th... CAIN JAGODZINSKI These boys have always done what we have asked and have always stuck together as a team. They deserv... CAIN JAGODZINSKI We?re getting our guys in better shape and polishing things up a bit. The north schools had the adva... CAIN JAGODZINSKI This group has been working hard to find their identity. I think they?re finding it now. CAIN JAGODZINSKI One right decision doth not a great president make. HERMAN CAIN Mix one part Denzel Washington and two parts Eva Mendes and you have a nice hot cocktail. 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I can certainly ap... JIM CAIN Gretchen Lowell was beautiful in a very grown-up way, in a sophisticated, confident way. It was more... CHELSEA CAIN She was a beautiful girl, but the lack of any spark dampened her prettiness. CHELSEA CAIN I get a lot of action scripts. I get low-budget vehicles that will end up right on the video shelf. ... DEAN CAIN My presence in the social media and on the Internet is much bigger than many of the other candidates... HERMAN CAIN It's a tougher-edged album — less poppy and a little more rock. It's a playful mix of the differen... JONATHAN CAIN They're bombarded with all kinds of music, yet they chose to hum ours. That's the best nod you can g... JONATHAN CAIN You have a wine tasting of different years, and we're sort of doing that with our music, giving them... JONATHAN CAIN This whole thing we're doing on the road is a tribute and a tip of our hat to the fans. We figure af... JONATHAN CAIN Anytime you get in on something that's new and trendy, it's cool. JONATHAN CAIN A lot of people don't even know there was a Journey before Steve Perry. JONATHAN CAIN "The laws of nature were not made to limit us, but to protect us. VARTOMIO CAIN Ugly people kill people all the time. But when pretty people did, it got attention. CHELSEA CAIN It's time to get real, folks. Hope and change ain't working. Hope and change is not a soluti... HERMAN CAIN People will be able to print out the make and model, vehicle identification numbers and the price on... CHRIS CAIN There may be 20 to 30 people who are members of all three clubs. There's a lot of crossover. We all ... RICK CAIN I don't know of anyone who began riding just because of the Tour de Georgia, but it is undeniable th... RICK CAIN Things are going great for us. The auto industry has been going through some tough times. GM has bee... CHRIS CAIN I'm delighted with this year's GCSE results which were a just reward for the hard work and effort by... JOHN CAIN We need responsible regulations, not regulations that have gone wild. For example, the EPA has a rul... HERMAN CAIN Stripped from context, once a good quote lands in a reader's hands it has great freedom. CANDICE CAIN I actually got better grades during football season, when I had no time, because I had to bear down ... DEAN CAIN I love you, Loise. DEAN CAIN Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman - The Complete First Season. DEAN CAIN It's like, now you've done it, you stood up with the big boys and you were good onscreen. It gives m... DEAN CAIN Why not learn to enjoy the little things -- there are so many of them. HERMAN CAIN Death will be my only peace, many of us await it with a candle in the window. CANDICE CAIN Most of the people who are in elective office in Washington, D.C., they have held public office befo... HERMAN CAIN Clothes are like armor. They have to be perfect and flawless to the rest of the world, because if th... LEE CAIN Where you are born, the color of your skin; these are not the only nor are they the best methods to ... CANDICE CAIN Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing... HERMAN CAIN We met in New Hope. I was a waitress, and Andy was building and roofing houses. WENDY CAIN Those who fall the deepest are the ones who reach the longer in life. VARTOMIO CAIN A system cannot excel beyond that of its lowest common denominator. CANDICE CAIN I never trust people who speak with declaratives such as "always" or "never" because there are alway... CANDICE CAIN In conversation the end results depend not on what one says but on what the other hears. CANDICE CAIN The more things you have in your life that make you happy the more often you'll be happy. CANDICE CAIN The more you've lost in life the less it takes to make you happy again. CANDICE CAIN The American people, Neil, are sick and tired of excuses. They are sick and tired of the blame game.... HERMAN CAIN Knowing what the problem is quite often does not bring one close to knowing what the solution is. CANDICE CAIN I read a lot of 'Nancy Drew' books as a kid and considered myself a bit of an amateur detect... CHELSEA CAIN Despite how fierce it is, I want to live by the water. WENDY CAIN They've been a tremendous conservation asset in terms of introducing Yellowstone genes into the Jack... STEVE CAIN There's no question that Democratic activists in California want a firm opposition to George Bush fr... BRUCE CAIN We are going to come in and make a real earnest attempt at the first two opportunities to [Kennedy].... LEROY CAIN I saw some of the most amazing things I've ever seen in a studio on that album. Steve probably sang ... JONATHAN CAIN In Sacramento, the sense of urgency is what often compels them to do anything and the sense of urgen... BRUCE CAIN Americans need accurate information in order to consider Social Security reform. Too bad the media c... HERMAN CAIN This is her dilemma. A lot of the pressures of her constituency point to her taking a very aggressiv... BRUCE CAIN It was a joke to the extent in the context of the views that speech. HERMAN CAIN We're sort of superstitious now. The albums that had the beetle on it did better than the ones that ... JONATHAN CAIN There's a high population in Allegheny County that we need to target, and it's also a very diverse p... CHERIE CAIN The foliage has covered up a lot of the flood damage. The islands were stripped bare. I'd never seen... WENDY CAIN Within a 50-mile radius of Philadelphia, there are astounding collections of just about anything and... LYNDA CAIN There are so many things about playing football that seem to me uniquely American. Anybody can succe... DEAN CAIN Used to, it was mostly college kids buying bicycles to get around campus. But now it's people who ha... RICK CAIN Inquiry is useless without creativity. Of course, inquiry is first useless without inquiry... CANDICE CAIN I think they kind of squandered it because they never made it very usable. It doesn't really benefit... RICK CAIN Don't let your characters tell you what to do. They can be pushy. Some writers say that they cre... CHELSEA CAIN I was starving before I hit Journey. Very, very rough times... I didn't know where the next pay ... JONATHAN CAIN My message of common-sense solutions is resonating with people. People around the country are starti... HERMAN CAIN In order to fix Social Security, we must restructure it so that we continue to provide for our Natio... HERMAN CAIN I was hell-bent on being an effective humanitarian in Cambodia and Somalia. But a naïve fog is fina... KENNETH CAIN I am suspending my presidential campaign, because of the continued distractions, the continued hurt ... HERMAN CAIN That's definitely a different feeling to go straight to the catcher, then walk back to the mound and... MATT CAIN Rome may not have been built in a day but Pompeii was destroyed in one. CANDICE CAIN When running towards the shining horizon, don't look back at the dawning night. VARTOMIO CAIN Something about the way she moves through the world does not lend itself to the care of fragile obje... CHELSEA CAIN I was obsessed with Val McDermid's Tony Hill and Carol Jordan books, delightfully twisted stuff. CHELSEA CAIN I like finishing a movie and having this living, breathing thing. DEAN CAIN I'm pissed that TBS changed their network and did not renew us. I hope they die a miserable burning ... DEAN CAIN I think it's wonderful that students can get scholarships to play athletics at universities. But the... DEAN CAIN Being outside and feeling that sort of oppressive heat - it's flammable! And your emotions tend to r... DEAN CAIN One of the things that I did before I ran for president is I was a professional speaker. Not a motiv... HERMAN CAIN People who oppose Obama are said to be racists - so I guess I'm a racist. HERMAN CAIN