My dad was the manager at the 45,000-acre ranch, but he owned his own 1,200-acre ranch, and I owned four cattle that he gave to me when I graduated from grammar school, from the eighth grade. And those cows multiplied, and he kept track of them for years for me. And that was my herd.
Dave Brubeck
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES He said he owned the land, He said he owned the sea, Through his sweet lies and manipulati... CHARMAINE J FORDE My father had owned a ranch when he was younger, in Montana, and he remembered riding his horse acro... JACK HORNER I handled all the program activities and he (Butterfield) did the overall operation of the ranch. Du... LARRY ARROWOOD I handled all the program activities and he (Butterfield) did the overall operation of the ranch. Du... LARRY W. ARROWOOD I enjoy what I do very much, ... When I was a kid I helped my Dad with the cows on our farm. He was ... DAN EDWARDS I knew Sinatra for 38 years. He was like my father. Frank Sinatra was my 'dad.' He treated m... TRINI LOPEZ My father owned pit bulls when I was young. He sometimes fought them. My brother and a lot of the me... JESMYN WARD I co-own the ranch with my brother, and he and his wife are really the backbone of the operation. BILL PULLMAN I was in grade school when Dad gave me the basics. He does metal work. I got more into the woodworki... BRONSON HOERCHLER A friend of mine who was a founding father of the Church of Satan, who later I compared notes with, ... ANTON LAVEY I trained with him before the world championships last summer, when he was in the middle of the situ... ALEXANDRE DESPATIE I remember having my father stand over me when I had driven over my own foot; one leg was out of the... RANDY BACHMAN No one could ever be for me what [he] had been because he had known me when, and that had kept me aw... ELIZABETH BERG For a long time I wanted to do the kind of work my dad did. He was going to ask his foreman at the m... RAYMOND CARVER I was so afraid to go out west to my aunt's ranch. But the only choice my mother gave me was to ... TEMPLE GRANDIN I've got cattle on 4,000 acres about 100 miles east of Dallas, but I've also got another 65-... CARROLL SHELBY My dad cut my hair once - I wanted a bob and he gave me a bowl cut. That was a tough few years. ALEXA CHUNG He gave me an opportunity when everybody turned their back on me. He gave me a chance to come to sch... CARON BUTLER When I was a kid, my step dad started this business and would go out and get lost cows and stuff. He... TIM MCGRAW When it comes to Father's Day, I will remember my dad for both being there to nurture me and als... JENNIFER GRANT The Travis Ranch in Ruth, Calif., is less than $1,000 an acre. BILLY LONG For four days there were warnings that the hurricane was going to make a direct hit, and the king of... HUGO CH For four days there were warnings that the hurricane was going to make a direct hit, and the king of... HUGO CH I was just four when a hired teenage field hand attempted to molest me. Miraculously, I got away, an... CAROLYN BYERS RUCH When I was seven, I had to stay home for several weeks because of some ailment, whereupon my father ... ARTHUR LEWIS My dad had an eighth grade education, and everything that he did in his life was just stuff that he ... MITCH PILEGGI He kept telling me he was ready and his dad told me he was ready. After we missed the extra point, I... BILL SCOTT He's always been aggressive and had great instincts for the ball. It was always kind of amazing how ... JEFF GAFFORD He saw that I was shy, and at the time I was still scared of feeling with another person, so he put ... ALLEN GINSBERG But you know, my dad called me the laziest white kid he ever met. When I screamed back at him that h... NORMAN LEAR From when I was 7 until I was 22, I played football. That was always my struggle as a kid. I always ... GAVIN O'CONNOR I think she's pretty much owned me the first four times that we've played them, my freshman and soph... LIZ HONEGGER We have tears in our eyes As we wave our goodbyes, We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL He was an important part of my life. He introduced me to the game at 4, and for the next 24 years, h... PAYNE STEWART He owned me my whole life. DAN UGGLA He played fullback for me one year at Hart, ... He was a 240-pound fullback in eighth grade. But tha... JASON LANE My father was in Congress when I was born. He was mayor my whole life from when I was in grade schoo... NANCY PELOSI The one thing I wanted most in life was for my dad to see me coaching in the Final Four. He won't ge... TREVOR ADAIR Johnson, for starters, was not good at the sittings. At one, he fell asleep. At another sitting, he ... FRED VOSS He's for you and wants to help you be the person He created you to be. CRAIG GROESCHEL The second purchase was my ranch, Mockingbird Hill. The third purchase was Longhorn cattle. JANINE TURNER My father raced bikes. He gave me the passion very early. I had my first bike when I was three or fo... VALENTINO ROSSI ...My father muttered something to me, and I responded with a mumbled "What". He shouted, "You heard... STEVE MARTIN I mean, I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family, and he was always the coole... ADAM SANDLER For four days there were warnings that (Katrina) was going to make a direct hit, and the king of vac... HUGO CHAVEZ It is painful for me because I would love to sit down and talk to my dad about the way he used to be... LAILA ALI We grew up on a ranch in North Dakota. Paige was really good at breaking horses. But one day this ho... GERARD BAKER I've watched him from afar and been very excited with him. He was outstanding on loan at Wolves. I t... PAUL STURROCK The last 16 years of my daddy's life, he got to work for me, and that made him his own boss and he l... BUCK OWENS 38. “A wet bird never flies at night.” (My grandfather said that to me when I was a child and wa... JAMES C. DOBSON was at playtime. Big Joe came up to school to see Charlie and me. He just stood and watched us from ... MICHAEL MORPURGO My grandfather was very involved with baseball. He just used dad to do the go-for business and gave ... BILL GRIER But no matter what happens, I spoke up, made a voice for myself, freed from the haunting memories th... JESSICA SORENSEN When I was a kid I joined the circus. I did that. It is true. But it's not like you think. There... CHRISTOPHER WALKEN Even Gaddafi's adversaries assure us that he stood out for his intelligence as a student; he was... FIDEL CASTRO I thank god for the 19 years he gave her to me, but why her life was taken from me, I just don't und... CYNTHIA LEE We talked for two to five minutes. He asked me where I was coming from. I told him 'I'm lost right n... JOE WHITE He was a manager, one of the singers, I guess talent coordinator for the local talent in Harlem. His... BEN E. KING He wants to build his own big facility on the other side of the ranch. He likes the amenities, but h... GARRETT VENEKLASEN When I saw him at his best
When everything was at its worst
He has proven me and the rest of the wor... HEARTTOHEART THOUGHTS The first dog I had was owned by an abusive couple. He was very skittish. He wouldn't let me hold hi... CASEY AFFLECK My family was very supportive of whatever I wanted because my grandfather was an opera singer. My da... TONY HALE My manager, Norma, was trying to get me to write it for at least 10 years and being the reclusive pe... SPIKE MILLIGAN Dad often told me, 'My job is to help my boss do his job and make him look good.' That was m... LYLE LOVETT He had me, but I kept my back arched and somehow I came out from between his legs. JASON GUFFEY The boot symbolizes the ranch and makes you think of the ranch and all these cows. DOROTHY MITCHELL I never really saw my dad around when the Iron Maiden and the AC/DC were playing. But he knew what I... DHANI HARRISON My mother's husband died when I was 4, and I thought he was my dad until I was 15 and found out that... ORLANDO BLOOM My dad is like a cactus - introverted and tough. I'm a people person, like my mom, but I got my ... GARY VAYNERCHUK My dad takes care of me as a manager and as a dad, ... That's his job, you know, to take care of me.... JESSICA SIMPSON That was my grandfather. People would use it as a directional landmark. He was kind of a junkman, th... JASON MRAZ For the first four years of my life, while he lived, I was not Ti Jean Duluoz, I was Gerard, the wor... JACK KEROUAC Danny was a sportsman and that kept me or both of us from wrecking. I squeezed him a little bit and ... MARK WERTZ During the treatment, we found out he owned a chicken coop and that some of his birds had died in re... RON KRUMER The last 16 years of my daddy's life, he got to work for me, and that made him his own boss and ... BUCK OWENS Now, I see! He really kept his promise. He continued to love me, until my heart stopped beating. But... MARIANA CORRêA COSTA My stepfather met my mother when I was seven years old, and he was a guitar player. So he caught me ... GEORGE BENSON He was a strong guy, ... He was mentally tough, and he had tremendous determination when doing anyth... BILL SHAW I was invited to a dinner party by an ex, and I was convinced that he wanted to rekindle our relatio... CHRISSIE FIT The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns momentarily from the... ARCHIBALD MACLEISH Coach Carey saw me play for the first time at the state tournament and someone told my dad that he s... BRITTANY HOLESTINE I had just got my license, and my dad was real proud of me for it, so he let me drive his pure stock... DUANE CAMPBELL My mother's dad dropped out of the eighth grade to work. He had to. By the time he was 30, he wa... MIKE ROWE The boot is a tribute to the ranch my dad loves so much. It's a tribute to the cattle and livestock ... DEWEY MITCHELL I never ran with my dad. He was old-school. He had a whole different idea of training. He ran in ste... LAILA ALI I like wearing my dad's sweaters because I knew that he wore them when he held me when I was a b... TROIAN BELLISARIO I played rugby for years, and I had a rugby jacket that I lost when I was 14. Somehow, my brother fo... RYAN REYNOLDS When I was a teenager, my dad watched my films and told me I could go to art college and study anima... NICK PARK I was at ease, but he hath broken me asunder: he hath also taken me by my neck, and shaken me to pie... BIBLE When I was a little boy, Marvin Hagler was my idol. He got no respect for most of his career. His fi... JAMES FREY From him I got my love for music, and for many years I was the classical music critic for magazines ... MARK ROTHKO My dad took me out to see a meteor shower when I was a little kid, and it was scary for me because h... STEVEN SPIELBERG He was on the track team and I know the way he was running, he was running for his life. I just have... JANICE KRAYNAK In Jamaica High School in New York, my coach was Larry Ellis, and he said I could probably make the ... BOB BEAMON Dad pressed against my mind. Please, Allison. Let me, just this once, hold my son. I shouldn't... DEVON MONK My dad has had the biggest effect on me. He played Division III basketball in college. He got me int... KYLE BOGUCKI As he looked at me, he seemed to send a message of his own: that he would still fight for me, that h... RICHELLE MEAD Once my dad starts something, he never gives up. The church has been important to my mother and fath... ANGELA JACKSON My dad taught me to switch-hit. He and my grandfather, who was left-handed, pitched to me everyday a... MICKEY MANTLE
More Dave Brubeck
Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a... DAVE BRUBECK Jazz stands for freedom. It's supposed to be the voice of freedom: Get out there and improvise, ... DAVE BRUBECK My mother Elizabeth Ivey Brubeck was a pianist who studied with Dame Myra Hess and Tobias Matthey. A... DAVE BRUBECK When you hear Bach or Mozart, you hear perfection. Remember that Bach, Mozart and Beethoven were gre... DAVE BRUBECK There's a way of playing safe, there's a way of using tricks and there's the way I like ... DAVE BRUBECK Do you think Duke Ellington didn't listen to Debussy? Louis Armstrong loved opera, did you know ... DAVE BRUBECK If there's a deadline, I work late. If not, I like to have normal hours, and get up early and wo... DAVE BRUBECK I got a poster from Columbia Records, and there's Miles Davis, Charlie Mingus, Ellington, Count ... DAVE BRUBECK I was always very aware of drummers. My oldest brother Henry was a drummer, and he drummed on everyt... DAVE BRUBECK The Pacific Mozart Chorale in Berkeley asked four different composers (the other three are John Adam... DAVE BRUBECK The worst thing about the life of a jazz musician on the road is getting to the gig. Once you're... DAVE BRUBECK The first choral music I remember hearing was Handel's 'Messiah' when the Mormon Taberna... DAVE BRUBECK [? Dave Brubeck and Marian McPartland, two masters of the jazz piano, Friday.] It's always an event,... DAVE BRUBECK I was young, too, ... It was new for both of us. DAVE BRUBECK It has taken me almost 60 years finally to compose something I wanted to write when I was a young so... DAVE BRUBECK And it still produces, too. The Stockton Symphony is top-notch in my book, and there's some great st... DAVE BRUBECK On my way out here, I was writing all the way on the plane, ... and as soon as I got to San Diego, I... DAVE BRUBECK We immediately gelled and we both were hearing things together and feeling the beat together. We bot... DAVE BRUBECK We immediately gelled and we both were hearing things together and feeling the beat together, ... We... DAVE BRUBECK Take Five. There's a certain piece that if we don't play, we're in trouble. DAVE BRUBECK I'm beginning to understand myself. But it would have been great to be able to understand myself whe... DAVE BRUBECK I wanted to be like my father, who was a cattle man and a rodeo roper. And that was - he was my hero... DAVE BRUBECK After the Second World War, I returned to California to study composition with Darius Milhaud, who w... DAVE BRUBECK I used to take my mother to Yosemite. When I turned 14, I got my driver's license, and that'... DAVE BRUBECK I started growing up in a hurry and taking a lot of the philosophy I'd heard from church as a ki... DAVE BRUBECK If I told you all the people that have secretly told me I've influenced them, you'd never be... DAVE BRUBECK That's the beauty of music. You can take a theme from a Bach sacred chorale and improvise. It do... DAVE BRUBECK It's like a whole orchestra, the piano for me. And also it's to me the greatest instrument. ... DAVE BRUBECK I had the first integrated Army band in World War II. DAVE BRUBECK When I was 20, Shostakovich was my favorite composer. I still find his Fifth Symphony wonderful, wit... DAVE BRUBECK I have more energy at the end than I do at the beginning. You can be so beat up that you can scarcel... DAVE BRUBECK What I want to happen is to be really creative, and to play something new in the improvisations, eve... DAVE BRUBECK I'm always hoping for the nights that are inspired where you almost have an out of body experien... DAVE BRUBECK We don't know the power that's within our own bodies. DAVE BRUBECK I'm beginning to understand myself. But it would have been great to be able to understand myself... DAVE BRUBECK It's like a whole orchestra, the piano for me. DAVE BRUBECK Jazz is about freedom within discipline. Usually a dictatorship like in Russia and Germany will prev... DAVE BRUBECK Many people don't understand how disciplined you have to be to play jazz... And that is really t... DAVE BRUBECK I knew even if I'm a cowboy, I'm going to be involved in jazz in some way. DAVE BRUBECK Stravinsky said that composition is selective improvisation, meaning that the same kernel of an idea... CHRIS BRUBECK I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ... DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But... DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ... DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi... DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century. DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe... DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ... DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a... DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod... DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t... DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui... DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s... DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk. DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou... DAVE DAVIES And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra... DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible. DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio... DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a... DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se... DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each... DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be... DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ... DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ... DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea... DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th... DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i... DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ... DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts. DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're... DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do... DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va... DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'... DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ... DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or... DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts.. Everything is ONE! DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor... DAVE BARRY I'm so alive. As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte... DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr... DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi... DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on... DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless... DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio... DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu... DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church. DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth... DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l... DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ... DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you. DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ... DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have... DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r... DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba... DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this. DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee Making plans to change the world While the world is changing... DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi... DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En... DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time... DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me? DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit... DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ... DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading. DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long. DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b... DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o... DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be... DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula... DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ... DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told. DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ... DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ... DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in... DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went... DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo... DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon. DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ... DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer... DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p... DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they... DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst... DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas... DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y... DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h... DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa... DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta... DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe... DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason. DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ... DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza... DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won... DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu... DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute... DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort. DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th... DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys... DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit... DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ... DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c... DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo... DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa... DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ... DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi... DAVE BARRY We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i... DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up. DAVE CHECKETT You can't choose what you're famous for in life. DAVE KELLETT The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic... DAVE KELLETT A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea... DAVE MEURER Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The future is no place to place your better days. DAVE MATTHEWS Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per... DAVE KELLETT I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit... DAVE EGGERS Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri... DAVE REICHERT It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a... DAVE EDMUNDS To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. DAVE BARRY American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi... DAVE BARRY Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television witho... DAVE BARRY In terms of personalities - I don't care about the personalities, I want leadership that's i... DAVE BRAT I became a war hero before going on to critical acclaim as a professional victim. DAVE PELZER Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. DAVE BARRY When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process. DAVE PELZER Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who re... DAVE BARRY I work 338 days a year, 16 hours a day. DAVE PELZER At a family's most difficult time, I want to make sure at a minimum that they have the very basi... DAVE REICHERT It's tough to go to sleep at night, and I wake up after five hours because I feel like I'm w... DAVE GROHL I taught myself how to play the guitar, I taught myself how to play the drums, and I kind of fake do... DAVE GROHL There's poetry in being the band that can sell out Wembley but also makes a record in a garage. ... DAVE GROHL My mother was a public school teacher in Virginia, and we didn't have any money, we just survive... DAVE GROHL Through Kurt I saw the beauty of minimalism and the importance of music that's stripped down. DAVE GROHL Singing into a microphone and learning to play an instrument - learning to do your craft - that'... DAVE GROHL My songwriting is like extending a hand to the listener. DAVE GROHL I stopped doing drugs when I was 20. I was finished with drugs before Nirvana even started. DAVE GROHL In this day and age, when you can use a machine or computer to simulate or emulate what people can d... DAVE GROHL I've experienced great things, I've experienced great tragedies. I've done almost everyt... DAVE GROHL