My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.

In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just haven't been on the show.

I grew up in a family much like the 'Jerry Springer Show,'

Well, it's a bit Jerry Springer (as in 'Jerry Springer Show') in that aspect,

There is nothing that makes us feel so good as the idea that someone else is an evildoer.

I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world.