My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.


John Oliver

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Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
OLIVER HERFORD
When I go abroad I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from.
OLIVER HERFORD
A man is known by the silence he keeps.
OLIVER HERFORD
What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan.
OLIVER HERFORD
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
OLIVER HERFORD
Only the young die good.
OLIVER HERFORD
Many are called but few get up.
OLIVER HERFORD
That's another fine mess you've gotten me into.
OLIVER HARDY
We never see ourselves as others see us.
OLIVER HARDY
The hours we pass with happy prospects in view are more pleasing than those crowded with fruition.
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain, With grammar, and nonsense, and learning, Good liquor, I stout...
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
Where wealth accumulates, men decay.
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales.
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
Honour sinks where commerce long prevails.
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated ...
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
People did not even then like to eat dirt, if they could see it.
OLIVER EVANS
It frequently happens that two persons, reasoning right on a mechanical subject, think alike and inv...
OLIVER EVANS
I would have been glad to have lived under my wood side, and to have kept a flock of sheep, rather t...
OLIVER CROMWELL
Put your trust in God; but be sure to keep your powder dry.
OLIVER CROMWELL
No one rises so high as he who knows not whither he is going.
OLIVER CROMWELL
We are Englishmen; that is one good fact.
OLIVER CROMWELL
Who can love to walk in the dark? But providence doth often so dispose.
OLIVER CROMWELL
Keep your faith in God, but keep your powder dry.
OLIVER CROMWELL
God made them as stubble to our swords.
OLIVER CROMWELL
Do not trust the cheering, for those persons would shout as much if you or I were going to be hanged...
OLIVER CROMWELL
A rolling stone gathers no moss, but it gains a certain polish.
OLIVER HERFORD
My general rule is that if everyone knew how to cook fresh produce from their local area, and Monday...
JAMIE OLIVER
How can it be said we should use only constitutional means in our struggle, when all resistance is i...
OLIVER TAMBO
German is a much more precise language than English. Americans throw the word love around for everyt...
OLIVER MARKUS
If we wish to know about a man, we ask 'what is his story--his real, inmost story?'--for each of us ...
OLIVER SACKS
In 'D.A.R.Y.L.' there was a part where I had to freeze to death, and they didn't even us...
BARRET OLIVER
Everyone can do a character the way they want to do it, unless the director tells them not to, which...
BARRET OLIVER
I didn't start out with a spectacular movie. Many people think you don't have to go from not...
BARRET OLIVER