My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.


Bob Hope

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More Bob Hope

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. About Russia
BOB HOPE
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
BOB HOPE
I
BOB HOPE
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
BOB HOPE
I do benefits for all religions -- I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
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They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE
If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
BOB HOPE
People who throw kisses are mighty, hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE
It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers; besides, its part of t...
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I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
BOB HOPE
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
BOB HOPE
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
BOB HOPE
Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
BOB HOPE
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
BOB HOPE
The program is nearly over! I can feel the audience is still with me but if I run faster I can shak...
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If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. -Bob Hope.
BOB HOPE
I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap.
BOB HOPE
Your ignorance cramps my conversation
BOB HOPE
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
BOB HOPE
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's ...
BOB HOPE
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
BOB HOPE
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
BOB HOPE
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
BOB HOPE
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - ...
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
BOB HOPE
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
BOB HOPE
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
BOB HOPE
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
BOB HOPE
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
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I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, e...
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
BOB HOPE
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents ...
BOB HOPE
No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties.
BOB HOPE
I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE
I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.
BOB HOPE
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
BOB HOPE
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
BOB HOPE
I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap.
BOB HOPE
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -- not the great occasions -...
BOB HOPE
When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - ...
BOB HOPE
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think ...
BOB HOPE
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. [About Russia]
BOB HOPE
I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people
BOB HOPE
[Milton Hope led the singing of] Happy Birthday ... He would say, 'Keep it sweet and short and don't...
BOB HOPE
Memory Lane Bob Hope Way.
BOB HOPE
Pops. That's what we called him.
BOB HOPE
Little Miss Broadway.
BOB HOPE
You couldn't say anything negative about any of the Braves without Pearl getting greatly offended.
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Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until t...
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If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.
BOB HOPE
You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry
BOB HOPE
I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.
BOB HOPE
Of audiences: they were really tough - they used to tie their tomatoes on the end of a yo-yo, so the...
BOB HOPE
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what som...
BOB HOPE
He plays just like a union man. He negotiates the final score.
BOB HOPE
You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.
BOB HOPE
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and ...
BOB HOPE
I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
BOB HOPE
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
BOB HOPE
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
BOB HOPE
I must say the Senator's victory in Wisconsin was a triumph for democracy. It proves that a milliona...
BOB HOPE
He carries so many tacklers with him, he's listed in the Yellow Pages under 'Public Transportation.'
BOB HOPE
You can't say, 'We've got the biggest airport in the world' as a slogan,
BOB HOPE
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house a...
BOB HOPE
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
BOB HOPE
Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
BOB HOPE
I have to much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think ...
BOB HOPE
The program is nearly over! I can feel the audience is still with me but if I run faster I can shake...
BOB HOPE
This falls under the category of a minor and freak accident,
BOB HOPE
Don't tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation
BOB HOPE
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE
I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE
There are so many different walks of life, so many different personalities in the world. And no long...
HOPE SOLO
I think it's my personality to overcome things, learn from them and become stronger, both person...
HOPE SOLO
I like to read books and be alone; I'm not social butterfly person. I'm sorry.
HOPE SOLO
I carry my iPod everywhere. My favorite group is the John Butler Trio, an Australian jam band. The l...
HOPE SOLO
There are so many wonderful, wonderful musicians in the world, I cannot possibly make a distinction ...
DANIEL HOPE
A book might be written on the injustice of the just.
ANTHONY HOPE
You should regard each meeting with a friend as a sitting he is unwillingly giving you for a portrai...
HOPE MIRRLEES
Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible.
ANTHONY HOPE
You oughtn't to yield to temptation. Well, somebody must, or the thing becomes absurd.
ANTHONY HOPE
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ALEXANDER HOPE
I couldn't have been a great goalkeeper without power, agility and quickness.
HOPE SOLO
If money, education, and honesty will not bring to me as much privilege, as much equality as they br...
JOHN HOPE
One thing I've learned through all the ups and downs is that if you're doing things right, t...
HOPE SOLO
We have sat on the river bank and caught catfish with pin hooks. The time has come to harpoon a whal...
JOHN HOPE
When I was a boy, the only thing which captivated me as much as music was the night sky.
DANIEL HOPE
I am deeply aware of the pain caused to any victim of child abuse, especially at the hands of a trus...
DAVID HOPE
Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it?
ANTHONY HOPE
I wish you would read a little poetry sometimes. Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
ANTHONY HOPE
I may not understand, but I am willing to admire.
ANTHONY HOPE
Unless you are a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible.
ANTHONY HOPE
His foe was folly and his weapon wit.
ANTHONY HOPE
[Dangerous characters abound in] Sweeney Todd. ... The Worst Pies in London.
ANTHONY HOPE
Oh, for an hour of Herod!
ANTHONY HOPE
Economy is going without something you do want in case you should, some day, want something you prob...
ANTHONY HOPE
Good families are generally worse than any others.
ANTHONY HOPE
I think every athlete has their window of opportunity, and you just have to jump on it. You never kn...
HOPE SOLO
When I was in my teens, Yehudi Menuhin, who was at work on his project 'The Music of Man,' i...
DANIEL HOPE
Every summer my husband and I pack our suitcases, load our kids into the car, and drive from tense, ...
HOPE DAVIS
Being responsible and taking care of your body is truly how you make your pay cheque, how you excel ...
HOPE SOLO
What people need to remember is they are eternal beings and that they never die."~Kuan Yin
HOPE BRADFORD
One thing I've learned in life is that I can speak for myself, that I can fight my own battles. I do...
HOPE SOLO
I think people have different definitions of team unity. My definition is doing whatever it takes to...
HOPE SOLO
Dissatisfaction with possession and achievement is one of the requisites to further achievement.
JOHN HOPE
You're not going to be liked by everybody when you speak the truth. I don't speak the truth ...
HOPE SOLO
I'm way too disorganized.
HOPE DAVIS
My No. 1 goal, and what I've spent my entire life striving to achieve is to win a World Cup. I w...
HOPE SOLO
You know what I have noticed? And this is really sad. Flying first class is less scary than flying c...
HOPE DAVIS
I've seen a lot of the United States, having stayed in so many different cities and towns for wo...
HOPE DAVIS
At the age of eight, I bought my first telescope and would spend hours gazing at the moon and stars....
DANIEL HOPE
Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it?
ANTHONY HOPE
I've been through a lot of things in my personal and family life. That turned me into a fighter....
HOPE SOLO
I think the concept of seeking fame and fortune in women's football in the States is a bit idyll...
HOPE SOLO
I think the concept of seeking fame and fortune in women's football in the States is a bit idyll...
HOPE SOLO
My life goes in four-year cycles. The World Cup is every four years and the Olympics are every four ...
HOPE SOLO
It took putting one foot in front of the other every single day to get through it to the point where...
HOPE SOLO
I've learned that winning isn't everything, and it's more about the journey. But at the ...
HOPE SOLO
Troy is different. He is not what people think of as your typical professional athlete.
CHRIS HOPE
I've had marriage proposals, invitations to military balls and even a few prom offers from 18-ye...
HOPE SOLO
What this poll shows is that the election is still wide open, and that political campaigns do have a...
ALEJANDRO HOPE
Athletes are extremists. When they're training, it's laser focus.
HOPE SOLO
Claire is a role that easily could be unsympathetic and one-dimensional, but the always wonderful Da...
HOPE DAVIS
The cattle crouched round them in soft shadowy clumps, placidly munching, and dreaming with wide-ope...
HOPE MIRRLEES
He's not going to do what he did in college -- not at this level. Look, Steve Spurrier's college off...
CHRIS HOPE
He is very fond of making things which he does not want, and then giving them to people who have no ...
ANTHONY HOPE
Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible
ANTHONY HOPE
I am so excited about working with Jesse, ... I haven't met him yet, but I hear he is a really nice ...
HOPE PARTLOW
This isn’t Sex and the City, and life isn’t a Nicholas Sparks novel. The best kind of love is on...
HOPE ALCOCER
I never felt the same passion for the game in the States and there were a lot of headaches, a lot of...
HOPE SOLO
I feel like I'm one of the happiest people I know.
HOPE DAVIS
That's the thing about trust. It's like broken glass. You can put it back together, but the cracks a...
HOPE COLLIER
I'll always choose you.

Gabe Willoughby
HOPE COLLIER
I never played before in an NCAA Tournament, but that's the closest thing I can come to that. Crazy....
CHRIS HOPE
My confidence comes from the daily grind - training my butt off day in and day out.
HOPE SOLO
I could relate to that, ... I'm a Vassar girl. We were taught to stand up for ourselves.
HOPE DAVIS
I shall go the way of the open sea, To the lands I knew before you came, And the cool ocean breezes ...
LAURENCE HOPE
Everyone agreed that having one place to post and view Earth Day-related events in the area would he...
HOPE SIMON
I need a life outside of soccer. So I very much welcome, you know, new love interests and dating and...
HOPE SOLO
Global impacts begins with local steps
HOPE ETIM
He firmly believed in what he was doing, and you couldn't sway him from that. It was wonderful to ha...
HOPE LUGO
But these are sad times, the 'prentices wanting to be masters, and every little tradesman wanting to...
HOPE MIRRLEES
Somebody’s going to be reading, right? Wrong. They’re FBing. “Doing a Number Two. Maybe I shou...
HOPE BARRETT
My mother taught me that reading is a kind of work, and that every paragraph merits exertion, and in...
HOPE JAHREN
It think it's going to be a heck of a show. I told everyone I've invited, 'We're not coming in here ...
HOPE HINES
Strange, weird things that no man may say, things Humanity hides away; secretly done, catch the ligh...
LAURENCE HOPE
Often devotion to virtue arises from sated desire.
LAURENCE HOPE
Or, pale dispensers of my Joys and Pains, holding the doors of Heaven and of Hell.
LAURENCE HOPE
I cannot forget that, just as my life was touching its fullest flower, love came and destroyed it al...
LAURENCE HOPE
Pale hands I loved beside the Shalimar, / Where are you now? Who lies beneath your spell?
LAURENCE HOPE
Why is love such a sorrowful thing, this I never could understand; passion and pain are linked toget...
LAURENCE HOPE
For this is Wisdom; to love, to live To take what fate, or the Gods may give. To ask no question, to...
LAURENCE HOPE
Men should be judged not by their tint of skin, the gods they serve, the vintage they drink, nor by ...
LAURENCE HOPE
Pride and resentment are not indigenous to the human heart; and perhaps it is due to the gardener's ...
HOPE MIRRLEES
I have an income nearly sufficient for my wants (no one's income is ever quite sufficient, you know)...
ANTHONY HOPE
The country people, indeed, did not always clearly distinguish between the Fairies and the dead. The...
HOPE MIRRLEES
It gives them the opportunity to compete against someone else instead of having nothing at all.
BILL HOPE
It's socialization and it's basketball, but it's even more than that — it's also exercise a couple ...
BILL HOPE
It's a blast for us and it's a blast for the kids.
BILL HOPE
Bob Wilber supported us forever and made sure the athletes had everything. And (current program dire...
BILL HOPE
I felt that he was a voice for the voiceless, and a voice that was very badly needed at the time.
HOPE LUGO
Historically they go on the use of the property. If there are cows on it when it's sold, they allow ...
HOPE MCKINNON
We haven't peaked yet, because we're still making mistakes. We still have things to clean up. The th...
CHRIS HOPE
Less than the dust beneath thy chariot wheel, / Less than the weed that grows beside thy door.
LAURENCE HOPE
When we went up to Indianapolis the last time, the whole thing was, the Steelers are going to out-ph...
CHRIS HOPE
was
HOPE CALLAGHAN
dish
HOPE CALLAGHAN
You can predict all you want, but everybody knows what predictions get you.
HOPE SOLO
When the Olympics and World Cups come around, that's when you see the real outpouring of support...
HOPE SOLO
Once your baby tree is in the ground, check it daily, because the first three years are critical. Re...
HOPE JAHREN
I try to live my life one day at a time, and if I look too far in advance, I get really stressed.
HOPE SOLO
They did an awesome job, ... Some of the lyrics, I just couldn't believe it. Some of the lyrics have...
HOPE PARTLOW
Gain strength. Suck up energy. Make a point of appreciating the fragrance of the flowers and the bea...
HOPE BRADFORD
I usually tell people I watch like '24' and 'Prison Break.'
HOPE SOLO
The Written Word is a Fairy, as mocking and elusive as Willy Wisp, speaking lying words to us in a f...
HOPE MIRRLEES
But it is best to let sleeping facts lie.
HOPE MIRRLEES
Every athlete acquires routines as a way to help control nerves.
HOPE SOLO
I just love to make a whole roomful of people laugh.
HOPE DAVIS