My favorite part of the party is when the party is over. When I don't feel obligated to have a good time, and I can just sit and chill with whoever's left to chill with, you know?

You become a parent, and your whole life becomes about worrying. You just worry constantly whether they'll be okay. And the idea that I'll be worried forever about them and what they do...I almost have a panic attack when I think about it. I'm worried, and I'm worried about having to worry so goddamn much.

You're better off believing in God they'd warn you, just in case. Because you'd hate to arrive at the gates of heaven a nonbeliever and find out the Christians had been right all along. It was a pretty ingenious line of thinking. It almost made me want to go to church. Not enough to actually go, but still.

The Drew Carey Show.

Don't show your flaws.

Drew Carey's Green Screen Show.