My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.


Woody Allen

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I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI
I am a big fan of the old Howard Hawks films from the 30s and 40s, I was a big Hepburn and Tracey fa...
EDWARD BURNS
My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce.
DAVID STEINBERG
Our distorted media culture sees men as subjects and women as objects; in films, Woody Allen gets ol...
THERESA REBECK
...I might mention my belief that girls who like Woody Allen movies are nicer girls than girls who d...
ADAM LEVIN
I think my sweet spot is to make personal films on not-too-big budgets and also make other people...
BALTASAR KORMAKUR
You really think that on my films people tell me what to do? I don't think so. On my films I dec...
BAZ LUHRMANN
My plan was to stay in Canada to make films.
TED KOTCHEFF
Who are you, Woody Allen?
JOY BEHAR
I took an acting class with Louise Lasser, Woody Allen's first wife and co-star in many movies. ...
GARY SHTEYNGART
The action films I will make in the future will be more believable and character-based. I am now on ...
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME
Woody Allen movies notwithstanding, therapy, in the early eighties, was not exactly a hot conversati...
DAN HILL
I make films I believe in. Today my strength is emotional drama. I know I lack courage to do a varie...
KARAN JOHAR
I make American films for American audiences and Asian films for Asian audiences.
JACKIE CHAN
I don't see scarey films. I certainly wouldn't go see my films.
BRIAN DE PALMA
Woody Allen movies are like Beatles songs. I can't name my favorite without you immediately nami...
COLIN TREVORROW
I don't watch my own past films: when I watch them, I find they don't work very well, becaus...
BRUNO DUMONT
My good films were independent and my bad films were not.
RALPH BAKSHI
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
I make films about working class people.
TAYLOR HACKFORD
I guess I probably make violent films partly because I can't express my anger in my real life ve...
PARK CHAN-WOOK
I'm interested in making films that make people think.
ERIN WAY
I think as a filmmaker one should make all kinds of films. It is not that one should make only one k...
MADHUR BHANDARKAR
My films are the expression of momentary desires. I follow my instincts, but in a disciplined way.
ROMAN POLANSKI
I don't make romantic films. I make films about human relationships.
YASH CHOPRA
My taste in films doesn't lead financers to think they are going to make a zillion dollars.
ALEXANDRA CASSAVETES
For me, competition is good; that is what keeps me on my toes and keeps me going. I am always trying...
DEEPIKA PADUKONE
I feel I have a political duty to reach out to the general public. I want to make films that the peo...
BRUNO DUMONT
In my head, the fact that I have only two more films to make is pushing me. I say: "Oh my God, I've ...
LUC BESSON
My films are personal-voice-driven films about human characters and the place we live. Technically, ...
BARRY JENKINS
I have had unsuccessful films, but I learned a lot from those films. I give my failures as much impo...
AAMIR KHAN
My goal would be to make Frank Capra-type films about real people, how they define their reality.
LARRY WILCOX
These days more films are going to people than people are going to films,
PETER GREENAWAY
If people are looking forward to my films, then I am happy, and I must be doing something right.
ABHISHEK BACHCHAN
I generally follow my own compass and make films about what's scaring me.
ELI ROTH
I like films, or some films, and would be intrigued to see my work on screen.
TANITH LEE
I never seek controversy or foresee it for my pictures. I take a personal stand, and perhaps because...
OTTO PREMINGER
Well, Toronto, I consider to be the birthplace of my films. I've made three films and this is th...
JASON REITMAN
I decided to have the clips. In a year when some films are films people haven't seen, it's nice to r...
GILBERT CATES
The people follow what the media say. So if you said that Bruno Dumont is fantastic, it follows that...
BRUNO DUMONT
I was slightly disheartened when three of my films didn't work at the box-office. But the silver...
JOHN ABRAHAM
I wanted to work with Mike Leigh. I had my list of British people I wanted to work with, and I wante...
CARMEN EJOGO
I am my biggest critic. Even in films where people said they liked me, I have disliked myself.
SAMANTHA RUTH PRABHU
I don't plan my roles or my films.
MANJU WARRIER
When you make documentaries or short films, you have to have eyes and ears in the back of your head ...
BRUCE WEBER
I'm pretty mad at horror films for ruining my childhood.
HALEY BENNETT
Some of these things I saw in foreign films - African films, Cuban films - long before I decided to ...
DANNY GLOVER
I have as much artistic freedom in my television work as I have in my films.
TED KOTCHEFF
My early prose style - this is so embarrassing - was sort of a suburban, Presbyterian knockoff of Wo...
JOHN HUGHES
I wanted to make Canadian films, and I ended up making American films.
TED KOTCHEFF
Stasis is something that has marked my life since I was a boy growing up in Pittsburgh with my mothe...
SAID SAYRAFIEZADEH
The Lord, over the years, grew a seed in my heart to make faith-based films.
DAVID A. R. WHITE
I'm happy that all my films are different from one another.
KAJAL AGGARWAL
I am married to the theater, and the films are only my mistress.
OSKAR WERNER
'The Libertine' is being distributed by the Weinstein Co.,
MIRAMAX FILMS
It needs to be handled with intelligent marketing.
MIRAMAX FILMS
family-oriented television series and your irreverent movie, that apparently belittles every religio...
MIRAMAX FILMS
provocative and topical publication offering commentary, criticism, reporting, opinion and profiles.
MIRAMAX FILMS
I try to make films that move people when they are in the theater and make them think only after the...
CLAUDE BERRI
I assisted on a lot of films outside my dad's company. I only did two of his films.
ARJUN KAPOOR
I've always had the perspective that roles come into my life when I need them most and sort of teach...
BRYCE HOWARD
I've always had the perspective that roles come into my life when I need them most and sort of teach...
BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD
I have not been a follower of how many millions my films made or did not make.
IRVIN KERSHNER
Woody Allen said that 95% of history is explained as a man trying to impress a woman. And that's...
MITT ROMNEY
I prefer the countryside to cities. This is also true of my films: I have made more films in rural s...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI
A lot of my friends are people who do horror films: Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Stephen King.
GEORGE A. ROMERO
First off, I love Woody Allen. His early movies, like 'Hannah and Her Sisters,' are incredib...
TIM STORY
Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.
CATE BLANCHETT
I think that people who make films and think they're changing the world are sorely mistaken. If ...
NEILL BLOMKAMP
I'm very happy with the success of short films. In fact, for me, the short films make more money...
BILL PLYMPTON
A customer who often comes to my restaurant and always enchants me for his simplicity, shyness and s...
ARRIGO CIPRIANI
I don't know what to expect out of my films. My first two films were with extremely talented dir...
SONAM KAPOOR
I wanted a mix of 'B' films and first-class films, because I don't look down my nose at 'B' films. W...
BERNARD DICK
I wanted a mix of 'B' films and first-class films, because I don't look down my nose at 'B' films. W...
BERNARD F. DICK
In my music, my plays, my films, I want to carry always this central idea: to be African.
PAUL ROBESON
I had been working early in my life in films - since I was 11.
AJAY NAIDU
You should bear in mind that almost all my documentaries are feature films in disguise.
WERNER HERZOG
I hate Woody Allen physically, I dislike that kind of man.
ORSON WELLES
We look for event films, films that are larger than life.
JASON SWANSON
Seven out of my nine films were hits. 80 per cent of the audience loves my films; the remaining 20 p...
ROHIT SHETTY
It's judgement day. I'm nervous. My films are finally being released!
SIENNA MILLER
My films are like clouds: their meaning keeps changing every minute.
ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY
It's an obsession of mine, that different people, in different places, are thinking the same thing, ...
KRZYSZTOF KIEśLOWSKI
I think my films are always political, even if I don't put explicitly political things in them.
PEDRO ALMODOVAR
I feel even old people can do a nice love story, but here we don't make that kind of films. In t...
OM PURI
I had to make a choice at one point in my life, of missing films or missing my children. It was a ve...
AUDREY HEPBURN
I am a keen observer of my own films; I also try to discover myself through the movies I make.
IMTIAZ ALI
You know, sometimes I feel like I walk around with a target on my back with the films I make.
ALAN RUDOLPH
I have always tried to make profitable films because people's offices shut down if films fail, a...
IMTIAZ ALI
I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories...
ROMAN COPPOLA
The only way to get rid of my fears is to make films about them.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK
There's nothing gratuitous about my films.
DARIO ARGENTO
People think that I have some idea about how I choose my films. I make sure that I am doing the kind...
DULQUER SALMAAN
People who grew up watching Disney films like myself, there are films that are certain benchmarks in...
MANDY MOORE
I have a love interest in every one of my films - a gun.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
It's a process that I don't believe in, ... And I don't think it's correct for my kind of films.
ROBERT ALTMAN
I've been able to make some wonderful films, but sometimes you make films with great passion - g...
YASH CHOPRA
My films express me, my sense of rhythm, my sense of impact, my sense of kinetic energy. I like film...
PAUL GREENGRASS
My detractors are only accusing me of blowing up cars. What they have not realised is that my films ...
ROHIT SHETTY

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN
sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN
If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN
The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN
The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN
A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN
My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN
It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN
Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN
More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN
Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN
A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN
The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN
Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN
The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN
My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN
For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN
We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN
The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN
Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN
A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN
Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN
My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN
I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN
Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN
Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN
I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN
Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN
The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN
These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN
We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN
Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN
You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN
The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN
We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN
Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN
My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN