My first words, as I was being born [...] I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those.

Sex without smiling is as sickly and as base as vodka and tonic without ice.

It was as if he grew his hair long and smoked cigarettes because he liked to, not because he liked being seen to. This was dangerously subversive.

There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existance of a royal family, by the volume of traffic that passed by their house, by the malice of trade unions, by the power of callous employers, by the refusal of the health service to take their condition seriously, by communism, by capitalism, by atheism, by anything, in fact, but their own futile, weak-minded failure to get a fucking grip.

No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time.

Compromise is a stalling between two fools.