My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I need to dial 9? I say Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick.

My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.

I mumble a lot when im off stage, so a lot of times when im with a friend i'll say something and he'll be like what?!, and i'll say it again and he'll be like what?!, and i'll say it again and he'll still be like what?!, so now he's got me yellin. Man that tree is far away!!!!

If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable...

Hey, the TV was my friend. As a child, I always said, 'I want to live in there someday.'