I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'...
EMO PHILIPS When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't...
EMO PHILIPS The flowers anew, returning seasons bring! But beauty faded has no second spring.
AMBROSE PHILIPS I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
EMO PHILIPS Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're t...
EMO PHILIPS When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't...
EMO PHILIPS You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don...
EMO PHILIPS People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alib...
EMO PHILIPS I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.&...
EMO PHILIPS Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'
EMO PHILIPS I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than ret...
EMO PHILIPS I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under an...
EMO PHILIPS I ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady... take your purse.'
EMO PHILIPS Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they&...
EMO PHILIPS You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
EMO PHILIPS I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run aroun...
EMO PHILIPS My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' head...
EMO PHILIPS The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of ...
EMO PHILIPS I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.
EMO PHILIPS How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
EMO PHILIPS People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.
EMO PHILIPS I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, yo...
EMO PHILIPS I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to ...
EMO PHILIPS You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being span...
EMO PHILIPS Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
EMO PHILIPS Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
EMO PHILIPS When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping ho...
EMO PHILIPS My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
EMO PHILIPS Studious of ease, and fond of humble things.
AMBROSE PHILIPS When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn&#...
EMO PHILIPS A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
EMO PHILIPS I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor wi...
EMO PHILIPS Little pains In a due hour employ'd great profit yields.
JOHN PHILIPS At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second...
EMO PHILIPS I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two...
EMO PHILIPS Save the Planet...Buy Organic
NANCY PHILIPS My galligaskins, that have long withstood The winter's fury, and encroaching frosts, By time s...
JOHN PHILIPS Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.
EMO PHILIPS New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I sai...
EMO PHILIPS Students joining friends their age for graduation ceremonies can be a very special moment in their d...
KATE PHILIPS Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because the...
EMO PHILIPS When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of...
EMO PHILIPS The governor understands that the contract allows Penguins owners to take the team to another city i...
KATE PHILIPS Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
EMO PHILIPS Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume ...
EMO PHILIPS The flowers anew, returning seasons bring; but beauty faded has no second spring.
AMBROSE PHILIPS My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, w...
EMO PHILIPS When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits tryi...
EMO PHILIPS I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.
EMO PHILIPS People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"
EMO PHILIPS In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they g...
EMO PHILIPS I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know...
EMO PHILIPS Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
EMO PHILIPS All these horror movies are slasher film now. I like them, they're fun, but they wink at the aud...
GINA PHILIPS The underlying fundamentals remain decent, but the pessimism is getting higher. The biggest hindranc...
ROBERT PHILIPS I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, "If y...
EMO PHILIPS My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl...
EMO PHILIPS I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
EMO PHILIPS How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.
EMO PHILIPS Obviously the commonwealth is not a bank, and it is not in a position to provide loans to county or ...
KATE PHILIPS We hope it doesn't come to that. But, at the end of the day, we cannot put the port (of Philadelphia...
KATE PHILIPS The governor cannot dictate to the commission.
KATE PHILIPS We will not be moving forward. It's disappointing that we couldn't bring this to fruition right now.
KATE PHILIPS If a person is accused of murder and there is a warrant out for their arrest, we would arrest them. ...
KATE PHILIPS The governor still believes it's appropriate for the federal government to take action but inaction ...
KATE PHILIPS The benefits per person would not outweigh the cost to the greater commonwealth, at first glance.
KATE PHILIPS I would not at all characterize the governor as being scared of him by any measure. Both are strong ...
KATE PHILIPS The governor rarely visits Pittsburgh when he doesn't talk to every third person about the arena.
KATE PHILIPS They made good progress and the governor believes there is a general commitment by all four caucuses...
KATE PHILIPS I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firin...
EMO PHILIPS I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wa...
EMO PHILIPS I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.
EMO PHILIPS People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi.
EMO PHILIPS I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady take your purse."
EMO PHILIPS I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
EMO PHILIPS I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your ...
EMO PHILIPS I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run aroun...
EMO PHILIPS My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
EMO PHILIPS I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked ...
EMO PHILIPS I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
EMO PHILIPS I'm a great lover, I'll bet.
EMO PHILIPS Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.
EMO PHILIPS You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked ...
EMO PHILIPS I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of...
EMO PHILIPS I think the Nasdaq probably bottomed Monday, and we're in the process overall of making a very meani...
ROBERT PHILIPS Friends are like television. Some are like PBS and always asking for money. Others are like the news...
EMO PHILIPS I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.
EMO PHILIPS There is no functional difference between a wire-based phone call and a wireless phone call, so they...
KATE PHILIPS Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi ...
EMO PHILIPS From a technical standpoint the market is in a pretty good place. But I think it's a classic summer ...
ROBERT PHILIPS They produced solid enough numbers but debate on the issues coming out of their trading statement ne...
HARRY PHILIPS The governor would maintain his position if the bill comes to him.
KATE PHILIPS The believer is not a slave to fashion.

ABU AMEENAH BILAL PHILIPS Busy yourself with what is pleasing to Allah, or Satan will busy you with what displeases Him.
ABU AMEENAH BILAL PHILIPS Never let anyone define what you are capable of by using parameters that don't apply to you.
CHUCK CLOSE Rock's so good to me. Rock is my child and my grandfather.
CHUCK BERRY I believe that the Laws of Karma do not apply to show business, where good things happen to bad peop...
CHUCK LORRE If you can walk away from a landing, it's a good landing. If you use the airplane the next day, ...
CHUCK YEAGER You must realize that one day you will die. Until then you are worthless.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The bright future is that readers are accepting more varied forms of stories.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK More and more, it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You are not a beautiful, unique snowflake... This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Of the big horror movies of the '70s, you have 'The Omen,' 'The Sentinel,' '...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The best thing about getting a flu shot is that you never again need to wash your hands. That's ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK My private history in terms of people in my life who are dead is very easy to discuss. I don't f...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens jus...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their w...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Portland in particular is a cheap enough place to live that you can still develop your passion - pai...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were scare...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Alliances and international organizations should be understood as opportunities for leadership and a...
CHUCK HAGEL The final line in the Second Amendment says, 'The right of the people to keep and bear arms shal...
CHUCK NORRIS Fog and smog should not be confused and are easily separated by color.
CHUCK JONES Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and when people start getting it confused, that means they need ...
CHUCK D Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Our foreign policy needs to support our energy, economic, defense and domestic policies. It all fall...
CHUCK HAGEL The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it, beca...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The Midwest is a musical melting pot and the source and birthplace of several musical genres.
CHUCK INGLISH I have to think as Bugs Bunny, not of Bugs Bunny.
CHUCK JONES What was Bruce Lee like? How did you meet? What was it like to choreograph the fight scene in Rome w...
CHUCK NORRIS I worked on a farm. Played ball and loafed along the fishing and swimming holes of the White River, ...
CHUCK KLEIN If you start in the pit of despair with these profane, awful things, even a glimmer of hope or aware...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK A film has to maintain a certain decorum in order to be broadcast to a vast audience.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's the bullies who are afraid, are the ones that do all the fighting. It's not the secure ...
CHUCK NORRIS I'd like to see the health care professionals making decisions, not some bureaucrat in Indianapo...
CHUCK SCHUMER California club pop chirper Dev's debut is as stark as it is sweet. This is owed partly to the c...
CHUCK EDDY Acceptance speeches can make or break presidential candidacies. It was Al Gore's 2000 acceptance...
CHUCK TODD I'm a can-do conservative, and I just love the job, and I think I'm going to get re-elected.
CHUCK FLEISCHMANN Government and culture are two diametrically opposed forces - the one blinds and oppresses, the othe...
CHUCK D Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.
CHUCK NORRIS Every day, we are bombarded with a multitude of toxins in the environment. We know that the negative...
CHUCK NORRIS I was raised as a Catholic, but I got up to go to church because I thought I'd be hit by a bolt ...
CHUCK FEENEY My grandfather was hit over the head by a crane boom in Seattle. Some of the family claimed he was n...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK I feel sorry for people who have to edit me. Which is why book writing is by far the most enjoyable....
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN Book writing is a little different because, in my case, my editor is a year younger than me and basi...
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. To me, book wr...
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN Movie brawls tend to be bloodless and quick.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Helplessness is such a rotten feeling. There's nothing you can do about it. Being helpless is like b...
CHUCK BARRIS Hey, even the Mona Lisa is falling apart.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK We can't deal with the flood in the orchards until we cap the floodwaters coming into them. And ...
CHUCK NORRIS Of course voting is useful. But then again, I don't put a big glow to it. Voting is about as ess...
CHUCK D In a brave new world, a post-September 11 world, anyone is going to make certain mistakes. The mista...
CHUCK SCHUMER Brazilian music has many of the ingredients that I strive for in my own music: Strong melodies and a...
CHUCK MANGIONE You decide your own level of involvement.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolis...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Everyone knows that the Internet is changing our lives, mostly because someone in the media has utte...
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The most boring thing in the entire world is nudity. The second most boring thing is honesty.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Hysteria is impossible without an audience. Panicking by yourself is the same as laughing alone in a...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don't be trying all the time to fix things. What you run f...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of yo...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would al...
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN For years now, I've wanted to fall asleep. The sort of slipping off, the giving up, the falling part...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time.
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN Ok. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you don't know what you want," the doorman said, "you end up with a lot you don't.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK There are only patterns, patterns on top of patterns, patterns that affect other patterns. Patterns ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK We'll be remembered more for what we destroy than what we create.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Beca...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Why do I do anything?' she says. 'I'm educated enough to talk myself out of any plan. To deconstruct...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible; if you play the stereo at max volume, it...
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN A menos que todo empeore, nada puede mejorar.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK No matter how much you love someone, you still want to have you own way.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK A girl calls and asks, "Does it hurt very much to die?"
"Well, sweetheart," I tell her, "yes, b...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's discouraging to make a mistake, but it's humiliating when you find out you're so unimportant th...
CHUCK DALY Always have a plan, and believe in it. Nothing happens by accident.
CHUCK KNOX Playing safe is only playing.
CHUCK OLSON Practice without improvement is meaningless.
CHUCK KNOX It's not the bulls and bears you need to avoid -- it's the bum steers.
CHUCK HILLIS Never let a win get to your head, or a loss to your heart.
CHUCK D I used rebellion as a way to hide out. We use criticism as a fake participation.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK On the other side of the handrail, the hallway's gray marble floor looks as if we've climbed a stair...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The church has been brought into the same value system as the world: fame, success, materialism and ...
CHUCK COLSON Love me, I'll be anyobdy you want me to be. Use me. Change me. I can be thin with big breasts and bi...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Maybe this is why so many serial killers work in pairs. It's nice not to feel alone in a world full ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follo...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Disaster is a natural part of my evolution. Toward tragedy and dissolution.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be a student in anything...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The gyms you go to are crowded with guys trying to look like men, as being a man means looking the w...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Nothing is static. Even the Mona Lisa is falling apart. Since fight club, I can wiggle half the teet...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK