My life needs editing.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor.

I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

[In addition to optimal atmosphere, the tight-knit staff at Kelly's made performers feel welcome and above all respected. Elsewhere, that wasn't always the case.] I made some good friends there, ... It was a wonderful place. You never missed home when you were there. I was having a good time, and people were awfully good to me.