My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.

Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.

Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.