My plans are a jumble for now, but I do know certain things that I will and will not do. [...] I will reach upward. I will attempt to do better. I will not be a burden upon those who have helped me too much already. I will always be grateful for what pleasure I have enjoyed, what joys I have yet to experience. I will take opportunities as they come, but at the same time, I will not trust so easily. I will look at who is at the door before opening it. I will try to be fierce. I will argue when necessary. I will be willing to fight. I will not smile reflexively at every person I see. I will live as a good child of God, and will forgive him each time he claims another of the people I love. I will forgive and attempt to understand his plans for me, and I will not pity myself.


Dave Eggers

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DAVE BARRY
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ...
DAVE BARRY
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a...
DAVE BARRY
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
DAVE BARRY
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY
The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
DAVE BARRY
I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod...
DAVE BAUTISTA
A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t...
DAVE ATTELL
As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui...
DAVE DAVIES
I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s...
DAVE GAHAN
The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk.
DAVE FOLEY
When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou...
DAVE DAVIES
Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a...
DAVE BRUBECK
That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible.
DAVE HAYWOOD
The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY
A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
DAVE FINKEL
Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be...
DAVE MORRIS
Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ...
DAVE ROWNTREE
It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ...
DAVE MATTHEWS
We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea...
DAVE OBEY
Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
DAVE BARRY
The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i...
DAVE BARRY
I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ...
DAVE GAHAN
I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts.
DAVE FREUDENTHAL
The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're...
DAVE GROHL
I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do...
DAVE LEGENO
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY
The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va...
DAVE DEBRONKART
Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
DAVE MORRIS
Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ...
DAVE GAHAN
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or...
DAVE BARRY
The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
DAVE ZEBIAN
I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor...
DAVE BARRY
I'm so alive.

As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER
'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS
I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
DAVE MATTHEWS
I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on...
DAVE SITEK
We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless...
DAVE BARRY
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio...
DAVE BARRY
There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu...
DAVE MATTHES
...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
DAVE MATTHES
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
DAVE BARRY
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
DAVE BARRY
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY
I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY
The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY
It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
DAVE BARRY
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
DAVE BARRY
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
DAVE BARRY
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba...
DAVE BARRY
Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY