My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.

My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.

I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit.

Anyone who's married to Mariah Carey - I'm pretty sure - doesn't have a great sense of humor. I mean, let's be honest: she's ridiculous. What is her game plan?

Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll have a lot more fun in life.