My way of joking is telling the truth; that is the funniest joke in the world

Mark Twain and I are in the same position. We have put things in such a way as to make people, who would otherwise hang us, believe that we are joking.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.

Dying is a troublesome business: there is pain to be suffered, and it wrings one's heart; but death is a splendid thing—a warfare accomplished, a beginning all over again, a triumph. You can always see that in their faces.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.