Bill Hader quote: "My wife and I were on our honeymoon in Turks and Caicos, in the middle of nowhere, and I'm sitting on this deserted beach, and I see one lone person walking along the shore. He walks right up to me and says, 'I love 'Laser Cats,' and then just walks away."

I remember being unbelievable bummed when 'Freaks and Geeks' was canceled.
BILL HADER

Voices are a good way to get in and out of things. James Carville constantly calls my wife to say I&...
BILL HADER

For our anniversary, my wife and I went to see Godzilla, and then we ate at Barnyard Venice, and it ...
BILL HADER

I've never met Charlie Sheen.
BILL HADER

I saw 'A Clockwork Orange' when I was 11. When you watch 'Clockwork Orange' at 11, i...
BILL HADER

Jason Sudeikis is always chewing gum.
BILL HADER

I just did this movie with Kristin Wiig called 'The Skeleton Twins.' That's a straight d...
BILL HADER

I set the time on my iPhone to be 30 minutes late, so I'm only an hour and a half late to appoin...
BILL HADER

I remember I could do - I did Bart Simpson once on the bus. I did, like, a really good Bart Simpson ...
BILL HADER

To be totally honest? I don't know if I'll keep doing more impressions. People told me I had...
BILL HADER

I'm the only one in Tulsa, Oklahoma, that has Final Draft on my computer. Then you show up and g...
BILL HADER

My wife and I got to go onstage at a Flaming Lips concert at Webster Hall once. We dressed up like S...
BILL HADER

My parents were supportive. I didn't have good grades, but they could tell I wasn't lazy.
BILL HADER

I don't believe in the term 'guilty pleasure,' because it implies I should feel ashamed ...
BILL HADER

My dad was a big Frank Zappa fan, so I remember listening to a lot of Frank Zappa. Girls do not like...
BILL HADER

'The State' was a huge thing for me. I watched that and 'SNL' together when I was 15...
BILL HADER

The first time I met James Franco, he was dressed like James Dean. He was James Dean, literally, fil...
BILL HADER

'SNL' is really hard to do when you're single and living alone. And then it's pretty...
BILL HADER

Oddly enough, I have really bad stage fright - getting up in front of people. And I made a living go...
BILL HADER

Even though it doesn't look like it, I run. On a treadmill. And I bounce around to all the songs...
BILL HADER

I can't do Twitter or Facebook, mostly because I feel like I'm the type of person who has to...
BILL HADER

I got invited to the Playboy Mansion with the Lonely Island guys after their first season on 'SN...
BILL HADER

I met Robin Williams a few times, and he was a beautiful guy.
BILL HADER

When I got to 'Saturday Night Live,' it was a lot like going from pre-school to Harvard, and...
BILL HADER

You know what, I remember being on my T-ball team and telling people about 'Platoon.'
BILL HADER

I tried to get people at 'South Park' into 'Downton Abbey,' and it didn't work. ...
BILL HADER

I'm crazy lucky. I was trying to be a filmmaker. I was doing Second City classes as a way to be ...
BILL HADER

I grew up in a total Pink Floyd house.
BILL HADER

'Vanity Fair' did this grid thing a couple years ago, connecting people who've worked to...
BILL HADER

I really enjoyed playing Vinny Vedecci, the Italian talk show host. He was the first character I eve...
BILL HADER

I have a lot of incomplete short films and incomplete scripts out there.
BILL HADER

When I was on 'SNL,' I was getting weirdly anxious about being on camera, which I had never ...
BILL HADER

It is funny that people always assume you have a bigger part in a movie than you actually do. I reme...
BILL HADER

I remember seeing 'Spinal Tap' at a young age and being like, 'That's how you perfor...
BILL HADER

Top Ten lists make me insane. I just know they're going to change daily.
BILL HADER

I started making little short films with friends, and then I decided I wanted to get into the school...
BILL HADER

At the beginning of each week at 'Saturday Night Live,' we have a full cast meeting where Lo...
BILL HADER

I think that's the thing I learned at 'Saturday Night Live' - any time I would try and s...
BILL HADER

I worked at a movie theater in Tempe, Arizona, when I went to community college there. And I got fir...
BILL HADER

I was never that good on stage with live improv. I was much better on film or writing something and ...
BILL HADER

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!&...
BILL HADER

A lot of times I think people, when they're doing a movie that's a family movie, they're...
BILL HADER

To be honest, I watch way more dramatic films when I'm chilling at home. I think when you work i...
BILL HADER

A person being patient with an insane person is my favorite thing in the world.
BILL HADER

When you're at your absolute, most exhausted... That's when you have to be at the top of you...
BILL HADER

I learned a lot just watching people perform.
BILL HADER

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you kno...
BILL MAHER

No one really wants to admit they are lonely, and it is never really addressed very much between fri...
BILL MURRAY

President Obama is a utopian at heart. He wants to improve the lives of the downtrodden, which is a ...
BILL O'REILLY

Since the time of St. Jerome, it was mandatory for any kind of scholar or thinker to spend time out ...
BILL VIOLA

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
BILL WATTERSON

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
BILL WATTERSON

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that...
BILL WATTERSON

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
BILL WATTERSON

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves an...
BILL WATTERSON

From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
BILL WATTERSON

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's differ...
BILL WATTERSON

The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't wa...
BILL WATTERSON

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
BILL WATTERSON

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a...
BILL WATTERSON

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
BILL WATTERSON

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
BILL WATTERSON

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
BILL WATTERSON

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
BILL WATTERSON

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
BILL WATTERSON

Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell.
BILL COPELAND

Keep your word. Honor commitments, and they will double back to honor you.
BILL RANCIC

Historically, privacy was almost implicit, because it was hard to find and gather information. But i...
BILL GATES

The outside perception and inside perception of Microsoft are so different. The view of Microsoft in...
BILL GATES

According to Ethiopian custom, parents wait to name a baby because children often die in the first w...
BILL GATES

My son likes to go see mines and electric plants, or the Large Hadron Collider, and we've had a ...
BILL GATES

Like any well designed software product, Windows is designed, developed and tested as an integrated ...
BILL GATES

The quality of research in the U.S. is absolutely the best.
BILL GATES

The bulk of the universities are about teaching kids.
BILL GATES

People want to watch whatever video they want to watch whenever they want to watch. If you provision...
BILL GATES

In K-12, almost everybody goes to local schools. Universities are a bit different because kids actua...
BILL GATES

My wife thinks she's better than me at puzzles. I haven't given in on that one yet.
BILL GATES

In low-income countries, getting to a health post is hard. It's very expensive.
BILL GATES

I think there will be PCs at every price point.
BILL GATES

I don't have a magic formula for prioritizing the world's problems.
BILL GATES

The truth of Moore's law has made remarkable things possible. On the software side, I think natu...
BILL GATES

The only definition by which America's best days are behind it is on a purely relative basis.
BILL GATES

Digital reading will completely take over. It's lightweight and it's fantastic for sharing. ...
BILL GATES

At Microsoft there are lots of brilliant ideas but the image is that they all come from the top - I&...
BILL GATES

I never took a day off in my twenties. Not one. And I'm still fanatical, but now I'm a littl...
BILL GATES

Polio's pretty special because once you get an eradication, you no longer have to spend money on...
BILL GATES

I remember thinking quite logically that I didn't want to spoil my children with wealth and so t...
BILL GATES

To create a new standard, it takes something that's not just a little bit different; it takes so...
BILL GATES

Money has no utility to me beyond a certain point.
BILL GATES

People everywhere love Windows.
BILL GATES

I'm never fully satisfied with any Microsoft product.
BILL GATES

The general idea of the rich helping the poor, I think, is important.
BILL GATES

If I'd had some set idea of a finish line, don't you think I would have crossed it years ago...
BILL GATES

Exposure from a young age to the realities of the world is a super-big thing.
BILL GATES

Connectivity enables transparency for better government, education, and health.
BILL GATES

I have been struck again and again by how important measurement is to improving the human condition.
BILL GATES

China adopted a capitalist system in the 1980s, and they went from a 60% poverty rate to 10%.
BILL GATES

The best teacher is very interactive.
BILL GATES

Technology is unlocking the innate compassion we have for our fellow human beings.
BILL GATES

The tablet is not mainstream. Reading off the screen is not mainstream.
BILL GATES

Whether it's Google or Apple or free software, we've got some fantastic competitors and it k...
BILL GATES

I'm a geek.
BILL GATES

I know there's a farmer out there somewhere who never wants a PC and that's fine with me.
BILL GATES

If you go back to 1800, everybody was poor. I mean everybody. The Industrial Revolution kicked in, a...
BILL GATES

Go empower yourself. You need confidence because the one thing that bullying does is it belittles yo...
BILL GOLDBERG

As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.
BILL GATES

Paper is no longer a big part of my day. I get 90% of my news online, and when I go to a meeting and...
BILL GATES

Treatment without prevention is simply unsustainable.
BILL GATES

If you can't make it good, at least make it look good.
BILL GATES

Discrimination has a lot of layers that make it tough for minorities to get a leg up.
BILL GATES

We all need people who will give us feedback. That's how we improve.
BILL GATES

In the old generation, if one kid bought a PlayStation 2 and the other kid bought an Xbox, at his ho...
BILL GATES

The U.S. immigration laws are bad - really, really bad. I'd say treatment of immigrants is one o...
BILL GATES

This is a fantastic time to be entering the business world, because business is going to change more...
BILL GATES

The worst pandemic in modern history was the Spanish flu of 1918, which killed tens of millions of p...
BILL GATES

Expectations are a form of first-class truth: If people believe it, it's true.
BILL GATES

Nobody spends any money on smallpox unless they worry about a bio-terrorist recreating it.
BILL GATES

For a highly motivated learner, it's not like knowledge is secret and somehow the Internet made ...
BILL GATES

In business, the idea of measuring what you are doing, picking the measurements that count like cust...
BILL GATES

Nuclear energy, in terms of an overall safety record, is better than other energy.
BILL GATES

People always fear change. People feared electricity when it was invented, didn't they? People f...
BILL GATES

By improving health, empowering women, population growth comes down.
BILL GATES

Innovation is moving at a scarily fast pace.
BILL GATES

Microsoft is not about greed. It's about innovation and fairness.
BILL GATES

I believe that if you show people the problems and you show them the solutions they will be moved to...
BILL GATES

Capitalism has worked very well. Anyone who wants to move to North Korea is welcome.
BILL GATES

Today a minimum wage earner has to work a day and a half just to pay for a full tank of gas. That is...
BILL PASCRELL

I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or e...
BILL BRYSON

Under many current state laws, minors who have been victims of trafficking are charged as criminals ...
BILL FLORES

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
BILL COSBY

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON

There's a lot of things I believe in this world. I believe in God, I believe in the United State...
BILL ENGVALL

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what&...
BILL COSBY

If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them an...
BILL COSBY

I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not ...
BILL COSBY

There are two sides to every story, and sometimes three, four, and five.
BILL COSBY

When I say, I don't care what white people think, I mean that.
BILL COSBY

If you speak your mind and if it is true what you're saying, then I think the integrity of what ...
BILL COSBY

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
BILL COSBY

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituari...
BILL COSBY

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of yo...
BILL COSBY

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.
BILL COSBY

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: e...
BILL COSBY

Gray hair is God's graffiti.
BILL COSBY

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
BILL COSBY

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. I...
BILL COSBY

By the 1960s, many of us believed that the Civil Rights Movement could eliminate racism in America d...
BILL COSBY

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
BILL COSBY

Anytime I get down to Miami, it's a wonderful thing.
BILL GOLDBERG

I have realized over time that I missed the mark with HyperCard. I grew up in a box-centric culture ...
BILL ATKINSON

As a father, you want the best for your son, quite obviously. You want to create the best memories f...
BILL GOLDBERG

Movie acting suits me because I only need to be good for ninety seconds at a time.
BILL MURRAY

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you'...
BILL HICKS

I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, b...
BILL BURR

There are more people dying of malaria than any specific cancer.
BILL GATES

The man who rows the boat seldom has time to rock it.
BILL COPELAND

I can't negate the theory that the Huxtables on 'The Cosby Show' may have helped pave th...
BILL COSBY

A buddy will keep you honest and add a dimension of fun to your workout.
BILL TOOMEY

Someday, somehow, the leadership of Planned Parenthood will have to answer for their callous disrega...
BILL FLORES

One of my gripes about movies is that people take them so seriously, and the moneymaking aspects are...
BILL MURRAY

Words are the children of reason and, therefore, can't explain it. They really can't transla...
BILL EVANS

I bugged my mom and dad to 'get me inside the television set' when I was about four years ol...
BILL MUMY

I just became one with my browser software.
BILL GRIFFITH

No matter how much you've won, no matter how many games, no matter how many championships, no ma...
BILL PARCELLS

I don't think there's a... boundary between digital media and print media. Every magazine is...
BILL GATES

People in the West like to shoot things. When they first got to the West they shot buffalo. Once the...
BILL BRYSON

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence brief...
BILL MAHER

William Andrews Clark was caught in a bribery scandal during a campaign for the U.S. Senate - he was...
BILL DEDMAN

The International Brigades and the British volunteers were, numerically, only a small part of the Re...
BILL ALEXANDER

The anger in the Brigade against those who fought the Republic in the rear was sharpened by reports ...
BILL ALEXANDER

Being a broadcaster encompasses the business of sport, which is my life today, and it encompasses th...
BILL WALTON

Chick Hearn was my favorite broadcaster ever - he's the one who taught me to think basketball, h...
BILL WALTON

The great thing about being a broadcaster is you have this incredible responsibility to the people t...
BILL WALTON

Good writing is clear thinking made visible.
BILL WHEELER

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
BILL WATTERSON

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
BILL WATTERSON

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.
BILL WATTERSON

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

I just read this great science fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and tur...
BILL WATTERSON

Enemy fighters at two o'clock!Roger. What should I do until then?
BILL WATTERSON

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
BILL WATTERSON

From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
BILL WATTERSON

Black holes are where God divided by zero.
BILL WATTERSON

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried ...
BILL WATTERSON

We use the people who are in the bullpen producing.
BILL EVANS

After every massacre in a school, Americans grasp at quick cures. 'Let's install metal detec...
BILL DEDMAN

There's no magic line between an application and an operating system that some bureaucrat in Was...
BILL GATES

The long view of the Census bureau allows some changes that are taken for granted to be studied in m...
BILL DEDMAN

In the Woodstock movie, you see Justin, my son, who is now a filmmaker, being carried off by my wife...
BILL KREUTZMANN

The malaria parasite has been killing children and sapping the strength of whole populations for ten...
BILL GATES

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all th...
BILL WATTERSON

I have an addiction to caffeine.
BILL AYERS

Microsoft Research has a thing called the Sense Cam that, as you walk around, it's taking photos...
BILL GATES

Probably the single most important evolutionary trait dogs developed was right there at the outset, ...
BILL BUFORD

Awards are meaningless to me, and I have nothing but disdain for anyone who actively campaigns to ge...
BILL MURRAY

Ask any successful person to look back over the events of his or her life, and chances are there'...
BILL RANCIC

A city built on rivers and bituminous coal, Pittsburgh in the '90s has survived the boom and bus...
BILL DEDMAN

You know those adages about smelling the roses and chasing butterflies? The markets are my butterfli...
BILL GROSS

Many visitors to Chicago know the Loop, the shops on the Magnificent Mile, and the Museum Campus. Me...
BILL DEDMAN

My wife and I were on our honeymoon in Turks and Caicos, in the middle of nowhere, and I'm sitting on this deserted beach, and I see one lone person walking along the shore. He walks right up to me and says, 'I love 'Laser Cats,' and then just walks away.

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Bill Hader

My wife and I were on our honeymoon in Turks and Caicos, in the middle of nowhere, and I'm sitting on this deserted beach, and I see one lone person walking along the shore. He walks right up to me and says, 'I love 'Laser Cats,' and then just walks away.

Bill Hader

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