Lemony Snicket quote: "Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. "

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things ch...
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At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more go...
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With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.
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There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.
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Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.
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Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they a...
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Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden ...
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Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.
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Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
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The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
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One of the most difficult things to think about in life is one’s regrets. Something will happen to...
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It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding su...
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There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a li...
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Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, lik...
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Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tr...
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In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing...
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But there are times in this harum-scarum world when figuring out the right thing to do is quite simp...
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Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
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One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and so...
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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular in...
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Sometimes words are not enough.
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Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that hav...
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Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a danger...
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A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is...
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If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful v...
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There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into ...
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It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will r...
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When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is tryin...
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A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking b...
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If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
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It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited,...
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It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
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Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
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Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
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The world is quiet here.
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Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dream...
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Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because yo...
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Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of ho...
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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you...
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It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who i...
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The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world , you'...
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Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they c...
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Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
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it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person...
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Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal ...
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Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that th...
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Some of the bravest and most resourceful people in the world have come to bad ends
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The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
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The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
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A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give ...
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The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it migh...
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People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
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Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyon...
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The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people...
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If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." LEMONY SNICKET

Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have t...
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For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into some...
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The world is too quiet without you nearby.
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The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginnin...
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Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.
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Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable...
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A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and...
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Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.
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It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
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Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind...
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To hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope ...
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Blinded following the Blindfolded
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Whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things...
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He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you wh...
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I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hop...
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pai...
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You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
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It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getti...
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
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I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.
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You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.
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If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part...
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Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally.
"No," Sunny answered.
"Me neither," Violet said, "but...
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It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time ...
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I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
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Yo no sé si os habréis dado cuenta, pero a menudo las primeras impresiones son absolutamente equiv...
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Pero un tipo de libro que a casi nadie le gusta leer es un libro sobre leyes. Los libros sobre leyes...
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Así pues, a menos que hayáis sido muy, muy afortunados, sabréis que una buena y larga sesión de ...
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Hay muchos, muchos tipos de libros en el mundo, lo cual tiene sentido porque hay muchas, muchas clas...
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Read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair.
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There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
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There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, ma...
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The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great s...
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They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't under...
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...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circum...
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What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a w...
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Sometimes, even in the most unfortunate of lives, there will occur a moment or two of good fortune.
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It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited,...
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It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair t...
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One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insati...
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Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they c...
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I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my ...
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I refuse to argue with you, Charles! You're my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my om...
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Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
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Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
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No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what...
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Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece o...
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Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
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All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now...
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We believe in an aristocracy... Not an aristocracy of power, based on rank or wealth, but an aristoc...
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You write poetry?" Klaus asked.
He had read a lot about poets but had never met one.
"Just...
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Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make -- bombs, for instan...
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Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty...
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There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.
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Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the ...
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Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them
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I think we'll always miss our parents. But I think we can miss them without being miserable all the ...
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We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. I...
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It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are r...
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Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.
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We weren't friends[...]We were more like jigsaw pieces, each of us part of the same big picture. The...
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...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.
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Summer seems so cold without you, winter is even colder.
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...there's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as ...
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For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Ba...
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I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I never see you again, and I will l...
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I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person, but it does mean I've...
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I am alone this evening, and I am alone because of a cruel twist of fate, a phrase which here means ...
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The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.
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Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with t...
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
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I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, ...
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I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so clo...
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I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else your co-star, per...
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It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, an...
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I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.
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Desperate times call for desperate measures" is an aphorism which here means "sometimes you need to ...
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In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love t...
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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because...
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Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when y...
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Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically ...
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Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, a...
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Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel...
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Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thi...
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I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat...
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An apocryphal story - the word "apocryphal" here means "obviously untrue" - tells of two people, lon...
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You may want to keep a commonplace book which is a notebook where you can copy parts of books you th...
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Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
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It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happine...
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It is much, much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling ...
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The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, an...
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Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes yo...
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It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively....
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I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and a...
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Of course I'm trying to trick you!" Olaf cried. "That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody...
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they...
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Aha!"

My chaperone looked at me like I should aha! back, but all I could m...
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Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down o...
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There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If...
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It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l...
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But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed perso...
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They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I...
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It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway....
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Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except p...
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It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know...
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The map is not the territory.
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I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else.
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Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.
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You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I...
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I thought maybe if I stared hard enough, I could see the lights of the city I had left so very far b...
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The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that librarie...
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There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap,...
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I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, becau...
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There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frigh...
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Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because chi...
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So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. I...
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The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drif...
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A mystery is solved with a story.
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I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get ...
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage ...
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Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will e...
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There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap...
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Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it befo...
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They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire...
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How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus ...
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I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do...
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There is nothing wrong with crying at the end of a long day.
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being skeptical is a good thing for a journalist, because it means you don't completely trust anyone...
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There are people in the world who care about automobiles, and there are people who couldn't care les...
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Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would s...
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There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curiou...
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It is never seven that you count to, before you do something difficult. It is never at the count of ...
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The three of us stood there for a minute. I don’t know what Stew was thinking, and the filing cabi...
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When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
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I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, ...
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They can teach you anything. That doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it.
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they'r...
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I thought the war was a simple matter, with one side good and the other evil. But the more I read, t...
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Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get yo...
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Of course you can trust me," Jake Hix said. "We read the same books.
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It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.
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Nobody should feel pain all by themselves.
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There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matt...
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It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought,...
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Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

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Lemony Snicket

Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

Lemony Snicket

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