No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.