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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.


H. L. Mencken

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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nic...
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice...
H.L. MENCKEN I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix.
DEYTH BANGER Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. -H. L. Mencken.
H. L. MENCKEN As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. -H. L. Mencken.
H. L. MENCKEN As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. thanks to Alan Bennett -H. L. Mencken.
H. L. MENCKEN No matter who you are, there is some part of you that always wishes you were someone else.
JODI PICOULT No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be be...
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT No matter how hard a man may labor, some woman is always in the background of his mind
GERTRUDE FRANKLIN ATHERTON The Father and His Two Daughters A man had two daughters, the one married to a gardener, and the oth...
AESOP The woman who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right.... But she is more often left.
UNKNOWN If a man is happily married why would he look for another woman?
GIANNI PALADINI I learned from her that every woman is worried
about her looks, no matter how beautiful she is.
RICHARD FEYNMAN Financial independence is paramount. My mom always says that when a woman is financially independent...
PRIYANKA CHOPRA For when a woman is left too much alone, sooner or later she begins to think;- And no man knows what...
EDWIN A. ROBINSON For when a woman is left too much alone, sooner or later she begins to think;- And no man knows what...
EDWIN ARLINGTON ROBINSON How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perf...
OSCAR WILDE Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only beca...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and tha...
OGDEN NASH There are many women who are happy to be married, but only a few who are married happily.
CURT GOETZ Alimony: funds which allow a woman who lived unhappily married to live happily unmarried.
UNKNOWN A healer is someone who seeks to be the light that she wishes she had in her darkest moments.
VIRONIKA TUGALEVA Her mother made her go because her brother, who was stationed in Paris, always complained that there...
DARYL NEWCOMB She had been looking all along for a friend, and it took her a while to discover that a lover was no...
TONI MORRISON A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A frie...
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A frie...
BERNARD MELTZER What kind of woman was she? What kind of woman was it who called to me from that calamity on the Sev...
RICK MOODY No one wants to mother more vigilantly than a woman who is childless and wishes she wasn’t.
ELIZABETH BERG Woman must have her freedom, the fundamental freedom of choosing whether or not she will be a mother...
MARGARET SANGER Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
AMY BLOOM We always try to work it inside no matter who were playing. Ebony showed (Thursday night) that she c...
DEE FEAZELL There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man kno...
OSCAR WILDE No matter what a woman's appearance may be, it will be used to undermine what she is saying and ...
NAOMI WOLF As time passes this narrow minded man who got married to a woman with a yet unformed identity will o...
SUNDAY ADELAJA If a man has learned to think, no matter what he may think about, he is always thinking of his own d...
WILLIAM BARRETT No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.
DR. JOYCE BROTHERS An independent woman does not need a man who will spoil her with the finest jewels. All that she nee...
NIGUEL CROWIE An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her care...
JANE AUSTEN It is a lie.
ARTHUR MILLER Always marry a woman from Texas. No matter how tough things get, she's seen tougher.
DAN RATHER A man will teach his wife what is needed to arouse his desires. And there is no reason for a woman t...
BARBARA CARTLAND She didn't like the fact that she had reduced a man – no matter how evil he might be—to a drooli...
JOHN FLANAGAN There is no kind of harassment that a man may not inflict on a woman with impunity in civilized soci...
DENIS DIDEROT A man who stands in front of a woman does nothing more that block her view. She needs a man standing...
PENELOPE DOUGLAS There is no forgiveness. For women. A man may lose his honor and regain it again. But a woman cannot...
CORMAC MCCARTHY There may be here and there a worker who for certain reasons unexplainable to us does not join a uni...
SAMUEL GOMPERS A man may keep his heart encased in stone but despite his best efforts a woman can steal it whenever...
E.R. ROCK She gets a man who will love her completely and faithfully. She gets a man who will not only save he...
QUINN LOFTIS Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she...
BARBRA STREISAND Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she...
BARBARA STREISAND A strong woman builds her own world. She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the ...
ELLEN J. BARRIER True love always makes a man better, no matter what woman inspires it
ALEXANDRE DUMAS PèRE True love always makes a man better, no matter what woman inspires it
ALEXANDRE DUMAS PèRE No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.
JOYCE BROTHERS It's acceptable for a woman to say to man that she wants to get married to him.
LORRIN L. LEE You forget that when a woman finds a good man, a man who loves her and makes her happy, she doesn’...
SYLVAIN REYNARD A woman, desires to hear nice words from a man who can praise her beauty.
OSCAR AULIQ-ICE A man would always wish to give a woman a better home than the one he takes her from; and he who can...
JANE AUSTEN Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he's not the man she married?
BARBRA STREISAND No matter how nice a hotel is, it's not home.
BILL KREUTZMANN Both [P. T.] Barnum and H. L. Mencken are said to have made the depressing observation that no one e...
CARL SAGAN Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the...
BARBRA STREISAND I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her...
JOHN STEINBECK Sometimes a woman needs a man for company, no matter how useless he is.
LISA KLEYPAS I'm a happily married man and I think to get married you have to be optimistic.
PATRICK MARBER Man wishes woman to be peaceable, but in fact she is essentially warlike, like the cat.
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE There is not a woman born who desires to eat the bread of dependence, no matter whether it be from t...
SUSAN B. ANTHONY and the girl and I get into her car and drive off into the hills and we go to her room and I take of...
BRET EASTON ELLIS A beautiful woman is like a painting and remains beautiful no matter how old she is.
CHLOE THURLOW Many a woman would not be in a relationship with or married to her man, if he earned half of what he...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA There can be nothing worse for a man when he realize that he married the wrong woman.
VIKRANT PARSAI No matter how rich a person may be, he is poor to somebody & no matter how poor a person may be, he ...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) By taking a second wife he pays the highest compliment to the first, by showing that she made him so...
SAMUEL JOHNSON She had a very nice season. I don't think we played as well without her there. She just always kept ...
BOB REID Where there is a woman there is magic. If there is a moon falling from her mouth, she is a woman who...
NTOZAKE SHANGE Sylvia rarely flattered the men in her life- she envied them. She was far more likely to compete wit...
ELIZABETH WINDER In a husband there is only a man; in a married woman there is a man, a father, and mother, and a wom...
HONORE DE BALZAC A sharp pain in her chest became more intoxicating with each breath she took. There it was. The reas...
COURTNEY GIARDINA A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKEN I contend that every woman has the right to feel beautiful, no matter how scrambled her features, or...
MARIE DRESSLER I contend that every woman has the right to feel beautiful, no matter how scrambled her features, or...
MARIE DRESSLER Plunging in “truths” about God is like walking on the bottom of a sea that is not there, searchi...
MARIANA FULGER Every girl pretends she is a princess at one point, no matter how little her life is like that.
ALEX FLINN A true Master is not a man, or in some cases a woman, that likes to fuck hard or control. People lik...
TIFFANY DANIELLE A married woman has the same natural right to acquire and hold property, and to make all contracts t...
LYSANDER SPOONER She only maintains that it is possible, under some circumstances, for a lady to murder her husband; ...
JUDITH MARTIN Not every story is about a girl who dreams of romance, waiting impatiently and dramatically for a ta...
ANUJA CHANDRAMOULI for it is a universal rule that however bashful or angry a woman may be she never disregards a man's...
MALLANAGA VāTSYāYANA There's nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It's a thing no married m...
OSCAR WILDE Remember that whatever may be said by a lady or her friends, it is not part of conduct of a gallant ...
SAM HOUSTON She has shown that at 36, it is not too late for a Japanese woman to get married and have a family,
MAKOTO WATANABE In my judgment, the woman is the equal of the man. She has all the rights I have and one more, and t...
ROBERT G. INGERSOLL God's image is the married couple, a man and woman, together. Not just the man. Not just the woman. ...
POPE FRANCIS “Behind every successful man there is a woman” --- If a husband does not sacrifice his wishes fo...
MUHAMMAD ABDULLAH JAVED The way they were writing Christine as this older woman who got married, which she shouldn't hav...
SHARON GLESS Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.
BARRY HUMPHRIES Nina could scarcely believe a house could be as quiet as the one on Washington Street. Although ther...
JEAN ELSON Don’t resent a woman for who she is not; love her for who she is.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO Permit no man to make a mockery of you just because you may not be proficient in something. Remember...
BERNARD KELVIN CLIVE Certainly it is no shame to a man that he should be as nice about his country as his sweetheart,- ye...
JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL

More H. L. Mencken

Honor is simply the morality of superior men.
H. L. MENCKEN A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKEN There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKEN Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
H. L. MENCKEN For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKEN The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
H. L. MENCKEN A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
H. L. MENCKEN A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
H. L. MENCKEN Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin sl...
H. L. MENCKEN Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
H. L. MENCKEN On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation...
H. L. MENCKEN Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-hor...
H. L. MENCKEN A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
H. L. MENCKEN One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly ...
H. L. MENCKEN I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to ...
H. L. MENCKEN Time stays, we go.
H. L. MENCKEN A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.
H. L. MENCKEN The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom...
H. L. MENCKEN Archbishop -- A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
H. L. MENCKEN A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who wi...
H. L. MENCKEN All the political seers and sorcerers seem to be agreed that the coming Presidential campaign will b...
H. L. MENCKEN The time must come inevitably when mankind shall surmount the imbecility of religion, as it has surm...
H. L. MENCKEN The chief knowledge that a man gets from reading books is the knowledge that very few of them are wo...
H. L. MENCKEN There are two kinds of books. Those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.
H. L. MENCKEN There are people who read too much: bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as ...
H. L. MENCKEN War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adr...
H. L. MENCKEN Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had an...
H. L. MENCKEN Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
H. L. MENCKEN To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anesthesia.
H. L. MENCKEN I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys...
H. L. MENCKEN I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
H. L. MENCKEN If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.
H. L. MENCKEN Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's ...
H. L. MENCKEN The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed [and hence clamorous to be led t...
H. L. MENCKEN We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense that we respect his theory that ...
H. L. MENCKEN It is a sin to believe in the evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
H. L. MENCKEN Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party...
H. L. MENCKEN We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.
H. L. MENCKEN No man could bring himself to reveal his true character, and, above all, his true limitations as a c...
H. L. MENCKEN School-days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of du...
H. L. MENCKEN Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
H. L. MENCKEN The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all: it is simply to reduce as many in...
H. L. MENCKEN The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the ...
H. L. MENCKEN It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
H. L. MENCKEN Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright.
H. L. MENCKEN So few men are really worth knowing, that it seems a shameful waste to let an anthropoid prejudice s...
H. L. MENCKEN One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will...
H. L. MENCKEN The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false face for the urge to rule it.
H. L. MENCKEN Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her hea...
H. L. MENCKEN A man's women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regar...
H. L. MENCKEN Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later, for another thing, th...
H. L. MENCKEN Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.
H. L. MENCKEN Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
H. L. MENCKEN Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
H. L. MENCKEN It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards ce...
H. L. MENCKEN To the best of my knowledge and belief, the average American newspaper, even of the so-called better...
H. L. MENCKEN The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.
H. L. MENCKEN Time is the great equalizer in the field of morals.
H. L. MENCKEN The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act...
H. L. MENCKEN Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99% of them are ...
H. L. MENCKEN Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he...
H. L. MENCKEN The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is t...
H. L. MENCKEN Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in l...
H. L. MENCKEN A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean...
H. L. MENCKEN Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usuall...
H. L. MENCKEN There is no record in history of a happy philosopher.
H. L. MENCKEN An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it is a...
H. L. MENCKEN Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid f...
H. L. MENCKEN A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendura...
H. L. MENCKEN Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
H. L. MENCKEN Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is...
H. L. MENCKEN I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upo...
H. L. MENCKEN There is nothing worse than an idle hour, with no occupation offering. People who have many such hou...
H. L. MENCKEN Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that th...
H. L. MENCKEN One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly m...
H. L. MENCKEN A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
H. L. MENCKEN On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery ...
H. L. MENCKEN Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
H. L. MENCKEN What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
H. L. MENCKEN The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
H. L. MENCKEN Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
H. L. MENCKEN Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
H. L. MENCKEN Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
H. L. MENCKEN If I had my way, no man guilty of golf would be eligible to any office of trust under the United Sta...
H. L. MENCKEN It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite eas...
H. L. MENCKEN Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
H. L. MENCKEN The cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy.
H. L. MENCKEN Democracy is the theory that the common people know what They want, and deserve to get it good and h...
H. L. MENCKEN Democracy is also a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
H. L. MENCKEN The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest...
H. L. MENCKEN The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.
H. L. MENCKEN Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable. W...
H. L. MENCKEN It is impossible to think of a man of any actual force and originality, universally recognized as ha...
H. L. MENCKEN Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
H. L. MENCKEN A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
H. L. MENCKEN Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
H. L. MENCKEN As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
H. L. MENCKEN Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and mis...
H. L. MENCKEN Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
H. L. MENCKEN The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not s...
H. L. MENCKEN Historian -- an unsuccessful novelist.
H. L. MENCKEN Jealousy is the theory that some other fellow has just as little taste.
H. L. MENCKEN The evidence of the emotions, save in cases where it has strong objective support, is really no evid...
H. L. MENCKEN Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, a...
H. L. MENCKEN The legislature, like the executive, has ceased to be even the creature of the people: it is the cre...
H. L. MENCKEN The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be...
H. L. MENCKEN God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only san...
H. L. MENCKEN The movies today are too rich to have any room for genuine artists. They produce a few passable craf...
H. L. MENCKEN Injustice is relatively easy to bear what stings is justice.
H. L. MENCKEN The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the ...
H. L. MENCKEN JUDGE, n: A law student who marks his own papers.
H. L. MENCKEN Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
H. L. MENCKEN The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours....
H. L. MENCKEN Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Fathe...
H. L. MENCKEN Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
H. L. MENCKEN The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
H. L. MENCKEN Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality. It is impossible to find a hygienist who does not...
H. L. MENCKEN Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
H. L. MENCKEN The Belief that man is outfitted with an immortal soul, differing altogether from the engines which ...
H. L. MENCKEN Alimony -- the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. MENCKEN A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.
H. L. MENCKEN No one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.
H. L. MENCKEN The public, with its mob yearning to be instructed, edified and pulled by the nose, demands certaint...
H. L. MENCKEN It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.
H. L. MENCKEN When women kiss it always reminds one of prize-fighters shaking hands.
H. L. MENCKEN A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. MENCKEN The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
H. L. MENCKEN The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.
H. L. MENCKEN Imagine the Creator as a stand up comedian - and at once the world becomes explicable.
H. L. MENCKEN It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though sh...
H. L. MENCKEN After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
H. L. MENCKEN Unionism, seldom if ever, uses such powers as it has to ensure better work; almost always it devotes...
H. L. MENCKEN I never agree with Communists or any other kind of kept men.
H. L. MENCKEN The idea that leisure is of value in itself is only conditionally true. The average man simply spend...
H. L. MENCKEN Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it.
H. L. MENCKEN Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
H. L. MENCKEN Life is a dead-end street.
H. L. MENCKEN It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though sh...
H. L. MENCKEN It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound c...
H. L. MENCKEN The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act...
H. L. MENCKEN No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
H. L. MENCKEN The truth is that the average schoolmaster, on all the lower levels, is and always must be essential...
H. L. MENCKEN The more a man dreams, the less he believes.
H. L. MENCKEN On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays twice as much in taxes as he former...
H. L. MENCKEN The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the...
H. L. MENCKEN Before a man speaks, it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks it is seldom nec...
H. L. MENCKEN How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a w...
H. L. MENCKEN The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
H. L. MENCKEN Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
H. L. MENCKEN The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundre...
H. L. MENCKEN Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
H. L. MENCKEN The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other a...
H. L. MENCKEN Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
H. L. MENCKEN To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for idea...
H. L. MENCKEN The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another...
H. L. MENCKEN I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.
H. L. MENCKEN It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
H. L. MENCKEN Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. MENCKEN On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at la...
H. L. MENCKEN Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
H. L. MENCKEN In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
H. L. MENCKEN The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief ...
H. L. MENCKEN It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common hones...
H. L. MENCKEN Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
H. L. MENCKEN In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice t...
H. L. MENCKEN The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led t...
H. L. MENCKEN It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sou...
H. L. MENCKEN Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H. L. MENCKEN An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will a...
H. L. MENCKEN Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of...
H. L. MENCKEN Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what...
H. L. MENCKEN Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven...
H. L. MENCKEN Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
H. L. MENCKEN No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed age...
H. L. MENCKEN The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexpl...
H. L. MENCKEN I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of peop...
H. L. MENCKEN The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regar...
H. L. MENCKEN Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKEN I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.
H. L. MENCKEN If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries fo...
H. L. MENCKEN It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get ...
H. L. MENCKEN Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.
H. L. MENCKEN Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom nec...
H. L. MENCKEN For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our f...
H. L. MENCKEN Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H. L. MENCKEN Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
H. L. MENCKEN Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he fo...
H. L. MENCKEN Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
H. L. MENCKEN Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
H. L. MENCKEN It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
H. L. MENCKEN Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
H. L. MENCKEN Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
H. L. MENCKEN Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time ma...
H. L. MENCKEN Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and mis...
H. L. MENCKEN A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and ...
H. L. MENCKEN There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are goo...
H. L. MENCKEN A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
H. L. MENCKEN