No one cares what my definition of "is" is

No one is interested in my underpants

No one wants to hear from my armpits

I won't not use no double negatives

I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!

Dad, thanks to TV, I can't remember what happened 8 minutes ago. No, really, it's a serious problem. Ha, ha, ha! What're we laughing about?