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No private detective looks like a private detective. That's one of the first rules of private detection."
"But if no private detective looks like a private detective, how does a private detective know what it is he's supposed not to look like? Seems to me there's a problem there.


Douglas Adams

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I used to work as a private detective years and years ago.
ERROL MORRIS I am a private detective. I am paid to be inquisitive and presumptuous.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Most investigators don't even know what the word means. You stop the cops from using informants and ...
ANDREW VACHSS There was a teapot, in which Mma Ramotswe -- the only lady private detective in Botwana -- brewed te...
ALEXANDER MCCALL SMITH Mysteries include so many things: the noir novel, espionage novel, private eye novels, thrillers, po...
OTTO PENZLER My mum was a child minder, but now she fosters. My dad was in the police force, and now he's a p...
FINN JONES A woman could do a lot of crazy things for a pair of fine-looking dimples.
AMY ANDREWS But they were gathering dust in some courthouse basement. These things were technically accessible, ...
EUGENE VOLOKH A selection of quotes from The Night of Harrison Monk’s Death (Jane Hetherington's Adventures in D...
NINA JON [The name's Mullery...Alan Mullery! Brighton and Hove Albion manager Alan Mullery admits to hiring p...
GORDON TAYLOR It's no secret - I love detective fiction. One of the reasons I love being in London is because ...
PATTI SMITH Even as I was writing 'Empire State,' I knew there were more adventures for the main charact...
ADAM CHRISTOPHER But the first published thing I did was a detective story, detective novel, and I did that on my own...
PETER SHAFFER It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective stor...
AGATHA CHRISTIE The detective said it was a home invasion drug deal gone bad -- that's what the detective said (Sund...
CATHERIN CURNS I like to keep my private life private.
CARA DELEVINGNE Either a municipal bog is a private place or it isn't. If it is a private place in which to shit, ho...
STEPHEN FRY It's like a treasure hunt, in a way, and you're a detective.
JEFF WARWICK You really get to know these people. It almost becomes a detective story. Why is Brick like this?
KATIE SIMONS I am stable when my private life is a success.
DON JOHNSON I read a lot of detective novels.
CAITLIN KITTREDGE acting like a private, instead of a general.
TRENT LOTT Anyone can write a detective story about a detective who fails, for Pete's sake. That's pret...
MARK WAID At a private gift exchange ceremony, one journalist broke all ground rules, behaved rudely, and was ...
HELAINE KLASKY I'm not surprised to see private equity make a big move like this -- private equity has significant ...
ALEXANDER PARIS I see myself as an instrument of justice, not a dispenser of it."

-Detective Thanet.
DOROTHY SIMPSON Detective Comic #27: The very first glimpse we get of the guy and already he looks pis...
GLEN WELDON I've learned that social media and our private lives, you know, our private lives are not so pri...
JEREMY LIN The detective story, as created by Poe, is something as specialised and as intellectual as a chess p...
T.S. ELIOT There is no more reason to pay for private education than there is to pay for a private swimming poo...
ALBERT SHANKER What the detective story is about is not murder but the restoration of order.
P. D. JAMES For private to private sellers, there aren't a lot of protections. If the problem continues to be as...
CLEO MANUEL With 'True Detective,' you have a lot of time. How I like to describe it... it's like yo...
ADRIA ARJONA A really good detective never gets married.
RAYMOND CHANDLER And then I thought that I had to be like Sherlock Holmes and I had to detach my mind at will to a re...
MARK HADDON We aren’t angels. Angels couldn’t breathe the air down here. They’d die.
JAMES SALLIS In my junior year I discovered books. . . . Devoured [them] the way other kids did candy or sandwich...
JAMES SALLIS Being a homicide detective can be the loneliest job in the world. The friends of the victim are upse...
STIEG LARSSON The case called for plain, old-fashioned police leg work!
DONALD J. SOBOL Come to the jacaranda tree at seven o'clock and you will hear something to your advantage. Destroy t...
KERRY GREENWOOD Of course it's very hampering being a detective, when you don't know anything about detecting, and w...
A.A. MILNE Detective Leonard W. Briscoe
JERRY ORBACH Every reform was once a private opinion, and when it shall be a private opinion again, it will solve...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON Every reform was once a private opinion, and when it shall be a private opinion again, it will solv...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON The thing I don't like about detective stories is looking for criminals.
NATSUO KIRINO Private life is private life. Off the pitch, there is private life, and the rest is social life, whe...
ARSENE WENGER We all must educate children at the youngest ages that private parts are private, 'no' means...
CHRISTINE PELOSI We basically played detective for a whole day.
DEON SANTISTEVEN They that approve a private opinion, call it opinion; but they that dislike it, heresy; and yet here...
THOMAS HOBBES They that approve a private opinion, call it opinion; but they that dislike it, heresy; and yet here...
THOMAS HOBBES The marshes could have looked like a network of private roadways.
NANCY VINSON I had led a private life and wanted to die a private death.
JEAN HARRIS The state doesn't provide any money to private schools. They're deemed private businesses, private e...
DEETTA CULBERTSON He thought I was a cop and deliberately didn't call me "officer" or "detective." I let it go. If I r...
LAURELL K. HAMILTON In attempting to reach the genuine psychological reason for the popularity of detective stories, it ...
G.K. CHESTERTON I am a public person and I have my private life. It's important for me that my private life stay...
GEORGES ST-PIERRE No law can give power to private persons; every law transfers power from private persons to governme...
ISABEL PATERSON American violence is public life, it's a public way of life, it became a form, a detective story...
CHESTER HIMES What BB&T is against is using eminent domain for private development of private property. That's the...
BOB DENHAM It’s the invention of clothes, not nature, that made “private parts” private.
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA Is he a plumber, a detective - who knows. It's so confusing.
JAMES DENTON A big difference between Washington’s bailing out the private sector and the private sector’s ba...
LAWRENCE REED It's like being involved in a detective story, looking for that thing that nobody else has found...
ERIK LARSON What he says, however, is that like everyone else — from the humblest private citizen to the highe...
HUGH TOMLINSON What he says, however, is that like everyone else — from the humblest private citizen to the highes...
HUGH TOMLINSON It is natural for me not to explain my private life or to answer any questions about my private life...
CHARLOTTE CASIRAGHI The leg was sent to Robin,' Strike reminded him. 'There's as much chance that she's seen this woman ...
ROBERT GALBRAITH Only once in a generation does anything as fresh as a vomiting detective come along.
DEAN KOONTZ When the government makes loans or subsidies to business, what it does is to tax successful private ...
HENRY HAZLITT This isn't for capital projects like roads and bridges. It's for private groups. A lot of this is ta...
ERIKA ROSENBERG Crying is an act which one should perform only in private, for crying is a private way of groping fo...
ADDISON GAYLE, JR. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is not a public democratic organization; it's a private club basi...
MICKY DOLENZ Sometimes, fame does scare me. When people know where you are and what you're doing, that can be...
POPPY DELEVINGNE Private reproof is the best grave for private faults.
PROVERB I'm a very private person. I find it very daunting to have to give private parts of myself away ...
EMILY BROWNING When wearing a trench coat, you're allowed to act like Humphrey Bogart when he was detective Sam...
ROGER STONE It is imperative that an private investigator with no ties to the state or private parties is retain...
BRUCE FEHRING In the end, it is because the media are driven by the power and wealth of private individuals that t...
TERRY EAGLETON I’d leave that part to Detective Twinkle-Toes.
KATE SERINE To read of a detective's daring finesse or ingenious stratagem is a rare joy.
REX STOUT Normally, when a private prosecutor is appearing, it's with the conformity of the government prosecu...
JUDGE RENATO DILAG To me, detective stories are a great solace, a sort of mental knitting, where it doesn't matter if y...
RUPERT HART-DAVIS My private life is a lot more ladylike and less sultry than the fashion photos I imagine.
CARINE ROITFELD Leaders have no private life.
APURVA GAGLANI There is no private life which has not been determined by a wider public life.
GEORGE ELIOT There is no private life which has not been determined by a wider public life.
GEORGE ELIOT These are extremely trying times for our country. The recovery is going to be led by us via our priv...
THOMAS J. POWELL The government can help, but we need to make this transition now to a recovery led by private invest...
TIMOTHY GEITHNER She's a very private person. She's kept it very private. The rest of the team hasn't been involved i...
JACKIE LOCKHART Some lines you just don't cross. Not in my business."

"Your business?" Georgia rolled her...
LAURA OLIVA The history of the Welsh, the Irish, the Highlanders, is just the same as that of the Gauls, one of ...
SABINE BARING-GOULD 'True Detective' would not pass The Bechdel Test.
CARY FUKUNAGA So it turns out an only private-land preserve wasn't going to be able to meet legal (standards). The...
MARK RITCHIE Jail's are a spooky place," remarked Bill, trying to match the pace of detective Adam.

"O...
RAO UMAR JAVED I don't like to meddle in my private affairs.
KARL KRAUS Seizing private property for private development or for the expansion of the government's tax base d...
ALLEN DOUGLAS Of course, my motto is still, 'Work is work, private is private.'
AYUMI HAMASAKI Every man at the bottom of his heart believes that he is a born detective.
JOHN BUCHAN I keep everything that's private private.
KATE BOSWORTH Most detective story readers are an educated audience and know there are only a certain number of pl...
KERRY GREENWOOD

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DOUGLAS ADAMS One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit o...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, though...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong i...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sen...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have...
DOUGLAS ADAMS It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.
DOUGLAS ADAMS In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
DOUGLAS ADAMS He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existenc...
DOUGLAS ADAMS The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola
DOUGLAS ADAMS Even traveling despondently is better than arriving here.
DOUGLAS ADAMS The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a...
DOUGLAS ADAMS My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre,' h...
DOUGLAS ADAMS Same as you, Arthur. I hitched a ride. After all, with a degree in maths and another in astrophysics...
DOUGLAS ADAMS He actually caught himself saying things like "Yippee," as he pranced ridiculously round the house.
DOUGLAS ADAMS