No, you will never see me on 'Dancing With the Stars.' Sorry.

If I ever have children of my own, they will read 'Matilda.' They will watch the movie. And you can bet they will see 'Matilda: The Musical.'

Considering all the legal hassle child stars can be, I won't be surprised when they are phased out by CGI children voiced by adult actors.

People who meet me as an adult are often surprised that I'm alive and have never been in prison or rehab. Sometimes they're disappointed I'm not cooler.

The celebrity aspect is nothing short of ridiculous, and auditioning is brutal and dehumanizing. Every time I see a pretty young girl on the subway reading sides for an audition, my only thought is, 'Man, am I glad I'm not doing that anymore.' I never feel nostalgia, just relief.

I will do 'Dancing with the Stars' when my career dips.