Of all the tall tales, I think my favorite is the one about Eli Whitney and the interchangeable parts.

My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him.

If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?

I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.